Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 18/09/2015 10:59

Oh do update! Grin

You're a good egg, Hatter.

beaucoupdemojo · 18/09/2015 11:27

Maybe Dave should concentrate on being a nice guy/star (is there a vomit emoticon) to his own girlfriend instead of following Lisa with his tongue hanging out!

He is annoying me more than Lisa tbh.

pictish · 18/09/2015 11:29

Ohhh hahaha! Love the map. Grin

Trills · 18/09/2015 11:43

Dave is annoying me too.

Trills · 18/09/2015 11:46

I hope Dave grows up before he has children, or a dog.

Pandering to this sort of behaviour is just encouraging it, it's not being "nice".

TwmSionCati · 18/09/2015 11:46

yes I am finding Dave rather irritating.
In fact I have a picture of him in my mind's eye...he has a long ponytail and is Steiner educated.
Grin poor Dave

pictish · 18/09/2015 11:50

He'll be thinking he's all new man and in touch with feelings and everything. Ut's a nice but misplaced sentiment I suppose. Kindness is a great trait. Unfortunately naivety sucks, as does sanctimony.

TwmSionCati · 18/09/2015 11:56

I bet he is the kind of man that is the lone male to sign up for 'Women's Studies' just so that he can oppress women even further.

Squishyeyeballs · 18/09/2015 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoTheFIsJeff · 18/09/2015 13:52

I love that op. It's like having a child. Hmm

Bogeyface · 18/09/2015 16:11

Perfect!

I double dog dares ya to give it to her :o

Bogeyface · 18/09/2015 16:14

Seriously though, if she starts again either tomorrow or any other time may I suggest a "Oh here we go! Lisa is stropping off again, I wonder where she will end up this time!"

You cant be a martyr if no one give a toss, and its about time you all started saying something rather than just ignoring her. Taking the piss will probably have her ramp it up slightly, with exaggerated "OMG! I was nearly MURDERED and NO ONE CAARRREEEDD!!!!" before she packs it in but she should soon pack it in.

Atenco · 18/09/2015 17:48

Just read this. Please explain to Dave that as you are a woman you give other women the credit of being at least as capable of looking after themselves and taking responsability for their actions as you are.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/09/2015 18:00

I love this thread. People like Lisa and Dave are so tragic. Dave needs to wise up!

kickassangel · 18/09/2015 18:24

It actually sounds like she's not just a drama queen, but possibly got a genuine problem with depression or self esteem to the point where she can't maintain normal, healthy relationships. That doesn't mean that you should all go running after her, though. Next time, just be really matter of fact and go with, "You're an adult. If you choose to leave, getting home is your responsibility, and not an excuse to drag us into your argument with Chris."

Then - does someone know Chris well enough to have a serious word about a) whether she's depressed & needs real help, and b) perhaps the two of them need to look at how they resolve issues, as it's affecting all of you very negatively. I assume that Chris is also an adult and perhaps knows how to avoid the tense atmosphere etc. He could, potentially, help sort things out.

Whatever the problem is, getting attention from Dave will not resolve her problems or anyone else's.

dustarr73 · 18/09/2015 19:24

Kick shes a drama queen cause she picks and chooses when to do it.She wont do it when certain people are there and she wont get the audience.Which means its DramaLlamaSyndrome.Hope its not contagious.Grin

MyBoysAreFab · 18/09/2015 19:49

Also blatantly place marking for the inevitable next instalment Smile

tiredvommachine · 19/09/2015 08:14

Yay, Saturday!

temporarilyjerry · 19/09/2015 09:40

tiredofthemachine Grin

Squishyeyeballs · 19/09/2015 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 19/09/2015 16:16

Depends how big the audience is, I guess.

CheesyNachos · 19/09/2015 16:41

also looking forward to the next installment. :)

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 19/09/2015 17:04

Pmsl re. map. You should post that to her feed before you go out tonight. Just as a heads up incase she gets lost again Grin

MyBoysAreFab · 19/09/2015 17:58

Just checking in to see if there has been any pre-night out drama..

InimitableJeeves · 19/09/2015 18:03

The map only really works if you show her starting point, demonstrating that she was moving in the opposite direction from where she lives. Perhaps you should have a different version, the first showing the sensible route home and the second showing the one she took - with timings.