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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
Busybuzzybumblebee · 20/09/2015 10:18

Seeing how the party went Grin

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 20/09/2015 10:25

do you think Chris told her off pre-emptively, and that is why she had a face on?

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/09/2015 10:29

Maybe. I hope all the women used the mens for the night and she was in there on her own all night.

LasAnya · 20/09/2015 10:34

I've just read this whole thread in bed with a cuppa, and I'm giggling to myself like a loon.

Lisa sounds a total nightmare. 'Oooh I'm walking around at night on the mean streets of Willesden...help me!' Grin. I couldn't put up with her!

Dave is pissing me off, too, though (sorry, Dave, happy birthday and all that...but get a grip!).

Update, please, OP.

Jbck · 20/09/2015 10:52

Wafts frying bacon smell in OPs direction.

StayWithMe · 20/09/2015 10:56

Wafts frying bacon smell in OPs direction.

Places bucket at side of bed in case bacon smell has the opposite effect. Envy Or am I just projecting here? Grin

MadHattersWineParty · 20/09/2015 11:28

I am hungover! I got in at 4am.

So, as I mentioned, Lisa was in a foul mood. We had a little area reserved in this bar and Dave's family were there too, so we are just drinking and chatting. His Dad had put some money behind the bar, not a huge amount but enough so everybody could get a free drink in. Lisa went up and came back with 5 jaeger bombs and worked through those. Dave's girlfriend (I'm going to call her Anna) and I were keeping one eye on her. Anyway she proceeded to get very steadily drunk (to be fair we were all getting pissed but not at her level) and she just wasn't talking to anyone, refused to dance, face like a slapped arse etc etc. Chris asked her if she was okay at one point and she just said 'oh just fuck off'! Dave rightly so was being bought drinks left right and centre, but at one point said he thought he should go and have a chat with her. Anna and I shot him a look simultaneously and he stayed put Grin

Anyway what Lisa was in a mood about (Chris told me this is apparently she can't count on 'certain members of the friendship group', they don't 'have her back'. I bumped in to her in the toilets and she said I wouldn't give a shit if she was dead in a ditch. I said I absolutely would but it is very frustrating that she puts herself in stupid situations.

Anyway anyway. She said around 11 that she was going home as she wasn't feeling well. She was quite drunk so Chris said he'd finish his drink and go with her. Then Anna said, 'Lisa, I've called you an Uber, it'll be out front in three minutes, Chris is going to stay here and chat to Dave but you'll be fine! Drink a big glass of water and we'll see you soon!' And she gave her a big hug. Lisa got in the uber.

This morning on Facebook there are some pics of the night out and she's commented 'I'm not in any of these!! Nice to know I was such an important part of your night out Dave!'

OP posts:
beaucoupdemojo · 20/09/2015 11:32

Well done for not letting her take over the night.

But seriously, time to ditch her. She isn't going to get any better.

pictish · 20/09/2015 11:35

Oh good grief. What a horror.

ChickenTikkaMassala · 20/09/2015 11:35

Ditch her, she sounds like a pain in the arse.

pictish · 20/09/2015 11:36

And good work Anna. Grin

ladygracie · 20/09/2015 11:40

I love anna! She's awesome!
Lisa, on the other hand - what a pain! Is it really bad that I'm secretly pleased that she isn't in any photos?!

rollonthesummer · 20/09/2015 11:50

Why doesn't Chris dump her-she sounds horrific!

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 20/09/2015 11:53

With that comment she makes herself sound like a self centred twat.

Her good points are difficult to fathom.

AndDeepBreath · 20/09/2015 12:06

Good grief, how exhausting and well done to your friend for treating her sensibly. She sounds very damaged. Which doesn't mean you owe it to her to keep being a friend (and probably can't anyway) but seriously, no well adjusted happy person behaves like that.

Squishyeyeballs · 20/09/2015 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FantasticButtocks · 20/09/2015 12:16

She is an ego on a stick Grin

emotionsecho · 20/09/2015 12:25

The FB comment just confirms everything already said about her and her manipulation/designs on Dave, I hope Anna makes him see sense and he doesn't either reply to the FB comment or phone/text her.

Glad you had a good night and have the hangover to prove it!

emotionsecho · 20/09/2015 12:26

Love that description Fantastic

Jux · 20/09/2015 12:33

No one would want a photo of a drunk getting more and more sozzled on their own in a corner, with a face like a slapped fish, and refusing to talk to anyone.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/09/2015 12:34

Basically you're having to do the socialisation her parents didn't do.

Last night was "how we behave at parties!".

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/09/2015 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaPleaseLouise · 20/09/2015 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyrtleMoaning · 20/09/2015 12:40

Oh I don't know, maybe she needs to see what she's really like

LasAnya · 20/09/2015 12:43

Nah, she is too much hard work. I couldn't deal with it. The FB idiocy just compounds it. She's an arse.