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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 3 and 5 year olds downstairs while I take a nap?

510 replies

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:19

Basically the kids were all up at 6am today, 1 year old wanted a nap by 9am and I had a bit of a hangover. 3 and 5 year olds just wanted to play lego and watch Adventure Time.

Was I unreasonable to leave them alone for an hour while I napped upstairs?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 18:04

Stannis, but the point is they're not in cots, they're 3 and 5! They could fall over/eat a toy or whatever first thing in the morning or at bedtime. Does your 4 year old not have any toys in his room?

OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 13/09/2015 18:04

You wouldn't ask her what happened? No it's not fair on the 5 yr old because she would FEEL she was in the wrong even if she wasn't.

Iggly · 13/09/2015 18:05

Mine are 5&3. I wouldn't leave them alone. 6am isn't that early for me anyway.

I usually sit on the sofa with them if I'm not quite awake. But more often than not my 5 year old likes to experiment with stuff so I'd rather be nearby than leave him be for ages. Mine can also open the front door.

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 18:05

I don't think he'd feel in the wrong if he didn't do anything ppeat, why would he?

OP posts:
Lolly86 · 13/09/2015 18:05

Presumably OP you ensure that any toys in your DC room are as safe as possible? I.e no small parts like Lego, nothing they can pull down in themselves etc. downstairs is usually where the larger toys or those needing supervision are generally kept IME

backinschool · 13/09/2015 18:05

My friend left her very sensible DD downstairs watching TV while she lay down upstairs - she was recovering from a d&v bug and exhausted. She thought all was well until her DD appeared at her bedside with a bagel and a bread knife and said she couldn't cut the bagel thin enough to get it in the toaster. Her DD had never gone into the kitchen on her own but wanted to help mummy feel better. You never know what kids will get up to, even the sensible ones. I'd rather be close enough to hear them.

Iggly · 13/09/2015 18:06

Mine also come and get us as soon as they wake up. We have a monitor (they share a room) so can hear them.

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 18:06

Rain - what's your response time when you're asleep and she's in her room?

OP posts:
NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 18:08

No, they are all downstairs - he just has books in his room. He never plays in his room in the mornings, he always just shouts 'muuuuum', gets out of bed and comes in our room! I only mentioned cots because I thought you had mentioned having toys in a cot further up thread, but apologies if I am mistaken. I do agree that 3 is quite far past the point of trying to eat Lego for most kids!

HackerFucker22 · 13/09/2015 18:08

My almost 3 year old would trash the house!!!

That said I do leave him for 10-15 minutes most days while I have a shower....

crumblybiscuits · 13/09/2015 18:08

We have very small amounts of toys in her room apart from soft ones as we do our playing downstairs, together and supervised by an awake adult.

Goldenbear · 13/09/2015 18:09

Well it's tempting but I wouldn't as 'i am' the kind of person that only had toys that my 3 year old couldn't choke on in the room she shared with her 7 year old. Then again, I am the kind of person that does not think my 4 year old liking the Gruffalo or even Spot the Dog is too young. My point is, for my children these things are age appropriate, whereas I get the impression from other threads that some people's 'young' children are very much 'not'!

ppeatfruit · 13/09/2015 18:12

Snossidge Sorry he's a he, but he's 5 they are NOT responsible at that age as backinschool posted.

My 'sensible '6 yr. old wanted to make toast 'like daddy makes it' (brown) in the toaster in our temporary kitchen while the new one was installed. I smelled smoke, I wasn't asleep upstairs, she had set fire to the curtains. I quickly put it out, I dread to think what would happened if I had been asleep upstairs.

Goldenbear · 13/09/2015 18:13

My 4 year old who is very articulate and astute tried to eat a dishwasher tablet as in its wrapper she thought it was a chalky sweet. My friend's 3 year old 'did' eat one!

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole · 13/09/2015 18:14

The DC and I were in the garden all morning tidying it up, mowing the grass etc. they played with worms, on their swings, on the trampoline, in the sand.....after turning the flower beds and cutting the lawn I was dirty and stained green. I brought them inside and set out the arts and crafts table. I was with them all the time the bath was running. They were left with toasties, water to drink, pastels and paper. I came downstairs 15 minutes later (not an hour) and there is ORANGE PAINT over my cream rug. They can't normally eat inside 15 minutes never mind eat, drink, draw a picture and FIND the paints. They're 6&4yrs btw. So no. Doze on the settee.

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 18:14

I wonder how common it is that people don't allow toys in children's rooms? It isn't something that had occurred to me before.

I'm confident he wouldn't try to make toast or boil the kettle ppeat, though I guess if a child was that way inclined they'd be as likely (maybe more likely?) to do it first thing in the morning when I am still asleep.

OP posts:
Rainuntilseptember15 · 13/09/2015 18:15

My response time doesn't get tested as they don't tend to get up to so much when asleep! No food in particular.

goldglittershitter · 13/09/2015 18:15

No way. Yabvu. I won't even go in to the stories of things that have happened to one friend or another, friends of friends etc, never mind the real horror stories in the news.

Doze on the couch if u have to.

Not ideal when knackered but the only remotely reasonable option.

Sirzy · 13/09/2015 18:17

A number of people have said that they didn't think their child was the type to try to do things but the joy of childhood is children are unpredictable!

But again why did you ask when you are adamant it is fine?

Floggingmolly · 13/09/2015 18:19

6am is a perfectly normal waking time for kids that age. Not great with a hangover certainly; but you knew that before you went on the piss, presumably? YWBVU to sleep it off leaving them to their own devices.

ppeatfruit · 13/09/2015 18:20

I'd 've put them in front of the telly or a fave DVD or whatever with me in the room dozing on the sofa.

Johnny5isAlive · 13/09/2015 18:20

YANBU. I don't follow mine around the house. There's plenty of times I don't know exactly what they are up to

Nanny0gg · 13/09/2015 18:20

In the mornings you are on the same floor so you can get to them easier and I doubt you're in a sound sleep.

Personally I think you were VU.

Nap in the room with them.

byhec · 13/09/2015 18:24

I can't believe you are asking this, they could so easily hurt themselves or each other in this situation

NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 18:26

YANBU. I don't follow mine around the house. There's plenty of times I don't know exactly what they are up to

Yes, but that's different to being actually asleep isnt it? My kids are younger than the op's and sometimes I leave them downstairs while I go upstairs for a few minutes to do some bits, but I constantly call down and check they are OK. Being asleep is an entirely different things.