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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 3 and 5 year olds downstairs while I take a nap?

510 replies

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:19

Basically the kids were all up at 6am today, 1 year old wanted a nap by 9am and I had a bit of a hangover. 3 and 5 year olds just wanted to play lego and watch Adventure Time.

Was I unreasonable to leave them alone for an hour while I napped upstairs?

OP posts:
WaxyBean · 13/09/2015 17:47

Mine are that age - i potter upstairs while they are downstairs (or vice versa) but I'd nap in the same room if I wanted to sleep (they wouldn't let me though!)

Sirzy · 13/09/2015 17:48

Unfortunatly sleeping with young children around just doesn't work unless they are asleep too. Pain that it maybe!

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:48

I'm still not clear on exactly what the risk is downstairs vs. upstairs. Upstairs might be more of a risk as they have bunkbeds Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:49

I don't know Sirzy, it seemed to work pretty well today!

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 13/09/2015 17:49

I'm concerned about anything that might happen without your being there for better behaviour and fast reactions
for example ingesting a toy of some sort and choking
To almost hanging her/himself from a t shirt caught in something
Pull the TV down on themselves
Climb and fall smack head in

YABU
Snooze at night when they go to bed or when you are all together on the sofa

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:50

Ronald - other than pulling the TV down, surely all those things could happen first thing in the morning when I am asleep and they are in their room?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/09/2015 17:51

Well I would say leaving a 3 year old playing with Lego alone was pretty irresponsible to start with!

People have told you many times what they seem the risks to be but as you have decided you are fine im not even sure why you have started the thread.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 13/09/2015 17:51

So you don't think you're being unreasonable then?

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:51

Surely people don't have their 3 and 5 year olds in cots or in rooms without toys?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:52

I'm not clear on what the risk is Grotbag Confused

OP posts:
WalfordEast · 13/09/2015 17:54

Sorry but I think YABU. Who looked after them last night?? If they went to grandparents say- next time would they not look after them a bit longer so you could have a lie in?

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:55

Now I'm wondering if IBU in a whole other way by letting them have toys in their bedrooms Shock

OP posts:
ThisIsntFunnyDean · 13/09/2015 17:55

You sound like you are being deliberately obtuse now.
Yabu.

timeforabrewnow · 13/09/2015 17:56

Bit late now anyway OP - you've already done it. So what the hey. You would like reassurance that you did an okay thing, and the majority thinks it wasn't reasonable. So the reassurance is not there.

ppeatfruit · 13/09/2015 17:56

YABU IMO because you are placing a big responsibiliy on yr. 5 yr. old's shoulders, if something went wrong and she didn't notice or whatever are gong to blame her or yourself?

NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 17:56

No I wouldn't leave them downstairs on their own. An hour is a bloody long time for them to be completely fending for themselves isnt it?!

crumblybiscuits · 13/09/2015 17:57

No my DD doesn't have toys in her cot as if she wants to get up I just get up with her Confused YABU.

Sirzy · 13/09/2015 17:57

Well I wouldn't leave Lego in a 3 year olds bedroom for the same reason I wouldn't let them play with it unsupervised!

Wankarella · 13/09/2015 17:59

OP YABU but it's done now.

RonaldMcDonald · 13/09/2015 17:59

I dunno

I had 3 in 3 and it was mayhem at my house for a while. I always got up with them or they got straight into bed with me to chat snuggle etc
I very often felt like sleeping but they are tiny kids and it was my job to keep them safe

All of the things mentioned have happened to me or friends of mine as complete vigilance is impossible but luckily we were all awake and in the room/next room and able to v quickly deal with the problems

I know you want to hear it is fine but I think it is dangerous and you should put the safety of your children before your hangover.
I'm not judgey in most things but I think that they are too young to be in charge of themselves

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:59

Obviously I wouldn't blame a 5yo for an accident!

When I put them to bed at night I come back downstairs and they are alone and awake for a while in their room. Same in the morning they wake up around 6.30am and usually Hmm play for about 30 minutes without direct supervision - I'm asleep but do sort of half-consciously register they are awake eg. I would hear a bang or arguing.

OP posts:
NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 18:00

My DS is 4 and can have certain toys in bed (eg. Teddies or sometimes cars), but he never had anything in his cot and DD never has anything in her for apart from her, her sleeping bag, a couple of dummies and one teddy. I have no idea if this is normal or not to be honest!

Rainuntilseptember15 · 13/09/2015 18:00

Hanging and choking would be my fears. And if one child can get into the kitchen, obviously the other can follow.

I am not in the same room as my 3 year old just now but my response time to anything would be seconds, not the minutes it would take if I was upstairs asleep.

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 18:02

crumbly they're not in cots, if they wake up and want to play with their toys they can.

Sirzy - I think 3.4 years old is a bit past the putting toys in their mouth phase? Though neither of the older ones have done much. Lego is downstairs but they do have smaller toys like playmobil on a high shelf in their room which I guess the 5 year old could stand on a chair and get down.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 13/09/2015 18:02

you know your kids, but that would be the ultimate worst age to leave them unattended imo