to think some people really don't get look after the pennies...

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and the pounds look after themselves. And that it really is true.

I have a colleague who's son is living in US. She's never been to visit him because she "can't afford to". Yet she comes into the office every day with a takeaway latte and buys a sandwich for lunch and something from Cook for her and her DH's dinner almost everyday. So as not to drip feed, she finishes work at 3pm, so it's not like she's finishing a long day with no time to cook.

Obviously it's her choice and if she'd rather buy those things than visit her son, that's up to her but she doesn't seem to understand how much she's spending and that before long it would add up to enough for that plane ticket.

I see/hear it loads. People spending regularly on unnecessary bits and pieces that they don't even really enjoy and then complaining loudly and frequently about how broke they are.

Does no-one know about looking after the pennies....?

SanFairyAnne, I think we should give up. This is MN competitive thrifting at it's most insane. I cried (with laughter I think) at a PP's description of the OP's colleague having coffee, lunch and dinner as 'luxuries'.

It's Austerity-think (your Oscar Wilde quote is spot on) - that any salary can be stretched to buy anything you want (a BMW! a stateside holiday! a house!) if you just clip the right coupon, stop buying Costa or download a meal planner.

IMO all that time and effort put into thrifting would be much better spent asking for a payrise, finding a better paid job, retraining or starting a business.

No I do get what your saying op but I think people spend their money on what they want and people see luxurys as different things.

I happen to think buying lunch and coffee and then something ready made for dinner on a daily basis not necessarily as a luxury but a bit of a waste of money ! I know people that do this and then plead poverty and I always think make a pack lunch skip the coffee and you'd save some money but it's each to their own I guess !

It's a bigger issue though. I graduated a teetotal virgin aged 20 with law prizes. I am not saying everyone can but people for example who otherwise might have babies before they are 25 coudl instead not have sex. Yes I know it sounds amazing but it would have a big impact on careers for many younger women. I revised hard as a teenager because I was putting off until later what I might have today when others were drinking and at parties. It is that test they do on toddlers - deferred gratification. Some will take one sweet now but others will accept an offer of none now but 2 later. It a fascinating psychological issue.

When I've refused to replace the kitchen bin recently (as it's not broken but just some of the children don't like the way the lid jams) I can say honestly that one reason they have XYZ - a nice house, private school etc is exactly because I don't replace things that aren't broken on the whole and never have.

However yes I am one of the peoplke on the thread who earn quite a bit. I certainly remember the days of having very little mnoey when things like hair conditioner were pie in the sky and I've never bought deoderant in my life and don't go to a hair dresser even now. Other people are more spend spend spend. Ann Robinson's Britian's Spending Secrets I think still on iplayer is a funny look into the lives of people's different spending priorities.

Was the Anne Robinson thing any good? it looked a bit...odd-people spending huge amounts of money on quite grotesque stuff, and that's coming from someone who would just replace a bin if the lid stuck!!

I agree Tondelay it's amazing how much easier it is to save money when you have spare money. It's easy to live within your means when your means are enough to live on.

I work with a junior colleague who constantly moans to everyone that she isn't paid enough (she isn't) but will easily blow £8+ a day for lunch. I pointed out to her that if she saved the lunch money and made her own, it would probably amount to the same as getting a 2k pay rise. She hadn't seen it like that.

I am sometimes guilty of this. I might make a few one-off £20-£30 purchases a month and then wonder why I'm £100 poorer than I think I should be when I haven't bought anything extravagant.

True Nicky. I'm of the opinion that id rather save time than money, as time is more precious to me. I'm lucky that I have the choice though.

We don't buy food/drink at attractions as it seems awaste of money. Never thought of it as mean! You could spend the same price as the entrance tickets in consumable stuff if you weren't careful and I'd rather go out again. Occasionally well let them choose one thing.

Similarly in most places we walk through " the stores trying to make you but things" but do buy a souvenir if its a very special holiday. Usually at the end of the week when they've chosen their thing.

Not sure why you'd buy t shirts at an attraction either!!

I think that's a case of just different values. I'd see a lot of that as frittering or a waste in our case and would rather enjoy the day out or the experience itself.

On the other hand I'm interested to hear "just start a business" surely it's not that simple and you'd need cash behind you, you wouldn't expect profit initially etc. (I haven't a clue what business I could start. All I see around here is 'Mum businesses' which pay v little.)

It was a flippant comment but on this thread people are putting a lot of thought, time and creativity into saving a few pounds here and there. Think of how much better off they would be if they applied the same to thinking up ways of generating more income.

Id rather spend less than work more!

futureme It isn't about working more. It is about getting paid more for the same number of working hours. That means getting experience and being qualified so your time is worth more to those willing to buy it.

OP, I know what you mean about listening to people moan in that way

It's one thing to moan if she really can't afford it, but if she can....I had a difficult conversation with a friend a few years back who was adamant she couldn't afford to buy a flat but really wanted to. She would moan to anyone who would listen and one day showed me her monthly spreadsheet saying "see, there's no way I can save any more than I am".

I pointed out the expensive wine, the pricey skin care etc and she looked at me as if I was an alien, then said "but those things are important to me". She did eventually cut back though.

tbh my sis sometimes says things like "I don't know where my money goes" but thinks nothing of spending £50 on moisturiser. She isn't moaning about it, it's just a weird observation to make because it's crystal clear - as I see her very often - where her money goes. She spends a lot on clothes and so on as well. So yes....how can she not know?! It's not like little imps are spending her money instead of her.

PS haven't read whole thread - no interest in competitive thrifting etc - just interested - like the OP I guess - that people make these statements which show a lot of cognitive dissonance.

the fact that my friend actually showed me the spreadsheet when she came round really surprised me - she wanted input but she wasn't willing to spend less on those things? (She did eventually cut back and buy a flat, also sold a ton of stuff on ebay).

there is a happy medium. spend less than you earn, save for a rainy day. (ie can buy a washing machine when it breaks instead of having to pay three times the price in brighthouse etc) but do not deprive yourself of some treats every now and again.

A lot depends on the attitude of your parents. There is a level of income though where to achieve saving would mean fuck all treats and drastic cutting out of even necessities.

It's easy to live within your means when your means are enough to live on.

So true, and thanks for saying it San, Tondelayo & Nicky. When you are always delaying your gratification because you can't have the instant kind, any spare money tends to go on some of the things you've been doing without.

Denying your children for a bigger reason is one thing - it's a choice. You would buy them two drinks each if it was the first time you'd had that extra £10 in years.

I've been guilty enough of competitive thrifting in the past, but it's starting to sound increasingly unpleasant as more & more people in this country live in true poverty. To be honest, my economies were about getting more bangs for my buck - finding same-quality foods for less; driving if it was cheaper than the train; using discounts and so on. Keeping a measure of enjoyment and 'value' in my life's now a constant financial balancing act; if I fail, there's no cushion. It's stressful. And I'm not in true poverty yet (just above it.) Millions are worse off, more stressed and less gratified.

I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with sharing budget tips. I'm saying it's nasty to assume you do it better than most.

Some people genuinely are really really stupid with money. The OP's coworker sounds like she could probably be better organized if she tried.

It is a bit depressing though when "people should spend their money better" is advised on a macro-scale; we live in an era of stagnant wages and spiraling housing/education costs. Only the very rich have seen advances in their spending power. Many many people will never be able to buy their own home or afford university for their kids no matter how thrift they are.

I agree about the more bangs for your bucks thing. That's why I'd only buy one drink but go out twice instead. Same money, more bangs, so to speak.

I don't think the ops point was about people who are generally struggling. Then I agree, it is pointless to deny yourself, if the end goal is unobtainable. I do feel however, it's still a matter of priority and what is important to you. In the extra £10 example above, one struggling person may buy those two drinks, another struggling person may visit the cafe twice and buy one drink each time.

How to spend a set level of money is individual to everyone,regardless of where that level is. But it's harder to hear people moaning about it if there are very obvious ways they can change their spending patterns and easily achieve their goals. - as in the ops example.

It would be annoying if 0P's colleague is constantly moaning about being hard up financially. However, isn't she just saying that she can't afford to visit her son? Maybe she could pay for one plane ticket if she lived extremely frugally but I doubt that just bringing a packed lunch to work would save enough to pay for a two tickets (for her and her DH) plus hotel accommodation and other holiday expenses.

Yes it is true. What people don't get is that while yes, you won't save a deposit by foregoing a smartphone or a daily Costa, you will do if you apply the attitude of "That's not for me" in lots of areas of your life.

The argument about disadvanted people or people in poverty can always be trotted out as the exception but for the average Joe who has had a fine home life, university education and a good job it is totally doable. I saved loads while those who started in teh same dept as me (same education, background, salary etc) didn't as they had nice apartments and their own cars. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to be a car-owner when I had just graudated and as rents were expensive I simply wouldn't pay for my own apt so shared a bedroom with a stranger.

It's like middle-class people shopping in Waitrose. I could totally afford that but think what about the people who are earning multiples of my income? If they are shopping at Waitrose then I am spening more than them proportionally - they are being more frugal so I need to shop somewhere cheaper.

You shared a bedroom with a stranger to save money for a house deposit Mummyusername? I personally think that is over the top.

If you want something enough, then you alter your spending to get it.

If you can't do this, then either you really can't afford it or you don't want it enough to give up other things.

Of course there is the old Terry Pratchett good boots thing; how the rich buy expensive good boots that last for ages and work out cheaper, compared to the poor who can only afford crappy cheap now boots that don't last two minutes.

But while that is a very valid argument, there are plenty of people who would spend their all money rather that put any aside for boots.

My DD has a good friend whose life choices; the college she can go to, the open days and educational trips she attends, are constantly limited by lack of funds. And I could never understand it, because both parents work and there must be at least £35000 going into their house. And both DD's friend and her Mum have loads and loads of clothes and are very well turned out.

But when DD goes shopping with her friend and she has a bit of money, £10 or £20 from her Mum, she always insists on spending every single penny. And when DD has said, "Look, there's nothing you really want, why not hang on to that fiver for another time?" she looks at DD like she's speaking another language.

It's literally as if money is water running through their fingers.

"I work with a junior colleague who constantly moans to everyone that she isn't paid enough (she isn't) but will easily blow £8+ a day for lunch. I pointed out to her that if she saved the lunch money and made her own, it would probably amount to the same as getting a 2k pay rise. She hadn't seen it like that."

I do that (at 3-6 pounds rather than 8 though). It's because the job is so boring that lunch out is the only thing that keeps you going sometimes.