to think some people really don't get look after the pennies...

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and the pounds look after themselves. And that it really is true.

I have a colleague who's son is living in US. She's never been to visit him because she "can't afford to". Yet she comes into the office every day with a takeaway latte and buys a sandwich for lunch and something from Cook for her and her DH's dinner almost everyday. So as not to drip feed, she finishes work at 3pm, so it's not like she's finishing a long day with no time to cook.

Obviously it's her choice and if she'd rather buy those things than visit her son, that's up to her but she doesn't seem to understand how much she's spending and that before long it would add up to enough for that plane ticket.

I see/hear it loads. People spending regularly on unnecessary bits and pieces that they don't even really enjoy and then complaining loudly and frequently about how broke they are.

Does no-one know about looking after the pennies....?

I'd love to be a saver. I do have periods of trying. Then I get the I need something now feeling so spend it. Plus I only ever find it easier if I am saving for something in particular, not the what if.

I don't waste money on daft things (going out on the lash, haircuts, dining out, new clothes, make up, take aways) but then spank a lot on e.g. Flying to Australia or South East Asia, or on my event horse, or on rugby World Cup tickets. So my rugby team call me a nickname (with wry affection) that equates me to an old bag lady, due to my tatty clothes, hair, car, etc, but I actually am quite a high earner, I just choose to spend it on intangible stuff. I'm very fortunate my partner has the same attitude - he is also financially comfortable and runs his own company, going to board meetings in London where everyone is in savile row and designer watches, but he is wearing a well-cut M and S suit. We both wear clothes from when we were teens and bought for less than £50/acquired for free all our furniture from eBay and gum tree, but have had a heck of a lot of adventures...

Sometimes when something is SO expensive it does just feel insurmountable and a bit pointless trying to save for it. But I do need to be better at not frittering as it DOES all add up.

My parents were brilliant at saving the pennies and it's something my siblings and I learned from. They never had much of a chance to study so have always had low paid jobs but always managed to put away savings, but would never fritter money on takeaways or unnecessary clothes. They've never had a joint income higher than £20k but have a house owned outright in London now.

DH and I have a higher income so we do indulge ourselves a bit more (eat out a lot and have weekends away). But I still aim straight for the reduced section in the supermarket and always shop around for the best deals, use money off coupons and loyalty cards, pick up freebies when I can and try to buy most things when on sale or on a genuine discount. We have good pensions and have got on the housing ladder in London, only bought two years ago when the market was already tough, and lots of our friends on higher/similar salaries grumble about how impossible it all is. I feel I get more of a reward knowing my net worth and security is growing rather than picking up a small treat that I'll forget about by the next day.

I'm a saver by nature, luckily Dh is the same. Which is why we are in a very good place financially. We like spending as well, but it tends to be on going out, nice holidays, nice food but not unnecessary stuff that just becomes clutter.
Some people waste money on endless crap that they don't need then moan they can't afford this and that, (usually a house) and blame everyone else.

I didn't realise people took so much interest in other people's finances!

YABU. You don't know her life. The cost of a coffee, a sandwich and a ready meal is piddling compared to the cost of 2 flights to the US plus living expenses and she has to eat and drink anyway so it's not like it's a frivolous use of money. A Cook Meal for Two is about £8 - which is not far off what the ingredients to make it from scratch would cost - especially when you're including fuel.

As for people who go around telling people that their £2 coffee habit is the reason they can't afford a house (£200k on average in the UK)

I've got friends like this. They live I n Oz, and when we lived there visited each others houses for bbqs /parties.
Anyway, they always ate take aways. They never had food in the fridge, and they wondered why they could never go on a nice holiday, afford a nice car. It wasn't rocket science. They had no rent/mortgage to pay either, the car they had was the guys mother who sadly passed away before they emigrated.

I think a lot of people almost inherit spending habits from their parents/family. Things like hairdressers - growing up, my mum used to have her hair cut by a lady who came to our house and charged £2.50 a cut...this was the 1980s admittedly. And she always dyed her hair herself before she decided to go grey completely.

I've always had long hair, always just trimmed the ends myself. I've had a proper haircut in a hairdressers 3 or 4 times at most, and I've coloured it myself regularly since my mid 20s. I also used to cut both my DSs hair til they were 10/11.

I've also never had a manicure, pedicure, facial etc. I always wear nail polish, but do it myself.

I think all this stuff is lovely as a treat, but for me it's not essential. I love how my hair looks when it's been 'done' but then I think of all the money I've saved by trimming/colouring it myself, and save it for very rare occasions!

Son is 17 and on a sport scholarship. Just starting his 2nd year. No he hasn't been home

I think we all have different ideas on what is a luxury and what is almost a necessity for a happy life.
I don't spend money on takeaways or coffee because for me they are not worth the money. I would be miserable taking sandwiches to work for lunch though and I have never done it. I don't know what I will want for lunch first thing in the morning and would much prefer to decide when it is lunchtime even if that means I have to go out and spend money buying it.

Indeed, we are different! I take my lunch everyday, and it's not for financial reasons. I'm quite a spendthrift, but husband isn't. We made a conscious decision to pay off our mortgage, save for school fees upfront etc and had to watch the pennies then (I appreciate this isn't the same as having to save for the basics) and now we splurge. Life is very short.

broken, yes I always think that about manicures!

I agree Mary people have different ideas on necessity..and also different priorities. For example I have a friend who takes thriftiness to whole new levels - takes loo rolls from work and picks up spare tea/coffee/sugar sachets from everywhere to use at home, fills up shower gel from bottles at the gym, buys veg for 10p from the local market at the end of the day and makes endless soups/casseroles from it, is still wearing clothes from 20 years ago. But he's got virtually no mortgage, a decent pension and goes on several expensive (hobby related) holidays a year. That said, his frugalness (if that's a word!) is too much for me.

I'm very frugal now, but when I had no dc and was single I thought going out was an essential, I'm happy now to sit in watching crap telly with dc in bed I don't buy clothes any more for me unless I actually need them and I would put shopping on the very bottom of my likes list now. But if I went back and it was just me again I think I would still spend my money because it took a few shallow things to make me happy then and my self image was more fragile then, I don't know why. But I don't regret spending when I needed the boost.
I've never earned so little or paid off/ put away so much as I do now.

£2 for a coffee X 5 days per week, X 52 weeks in a year equates to £520, more than enough for a flight to the U.S! Depending on location.

Yanbu op, I agree with you, as per my friends in Oz. It's just poor money management sometimes. Weirdly, one of our friends is an accountant

completely agree with you OP.
my DP recently lent his friend £200 for an unexpected car bill.

4 months on he has not paid it back, claiming he is skint.

he goes to the pub at least 3 times a week spending about £30 a time.
he just doesn't get it.

People's priorities differ hugely don't they? I dont do the daily latte, ready meals and £10 every weekend on women's magazines that my friend spends a fortune on but she is aghast when i buy nice stuff for my flat. I just decided on a not great salary some things werent vital and my priority is a cosy living space. I have a why pay more when you dont need to mentality anyway: I wouldnt supermarket or high st shop for cleaning products or makeup when poundshop and superdrug are 50% cheaper.

Of course she can afford to go to the US if she cuts out the costa and a few other bits and pieces!
if she prefers her daily coffee to going to the USA , fair enough , but don't moan about not affording .

Re Coinstar - it keeps a percentage of your money, so it's not such a great idea!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf £3 coffee, £5 sandwich, £8 cook meal ( what are cook meals? And where do you grocery shop if it costs you £8 for ingredients for a meal for 2 made at home even Inc fuel I'd be less than £2.50! And that'd be a luxury meal)

Anyway so £16 per day x 5 days x 48 weeks a year (so not including weeks on leave) = £3840. That would get return business class flights from London to LA for 2 adults.

She doesn't have to stay in a hotel they have cheap guest houses/b and b's in USA too. Quick look online reveals lovely looking places with good reviews from £40 per night per double room.

Therefore I agree, she could afford it if it mattered to her and that's not even taking into account her DH's money which I'm sure he likely earns more than her, sexism at work being alive and well.

"Son is 17 and on a sport scholarship. Just starting his 2nd year. No he hasn't been home" poor kid. So he probably hasn't got the money to come home and feels abandoned.

Agree re depends on upbringing and circumstances.

My mum had it tough (as dad pissed his good wage up the pub!) She was only able to work part time usually due to family circumstances.

I was OK money wise till ex and I split. Then things became tighter, right now they're really tight as I'm not working due to ill health and have a 14 yr old dd.

I cut my own hair, do my own nails etc, rarely buy clothes for myself (I'm getting shoes from primark tomorrow that I'm actually feeling guilty about even though they're needed as last pair have fallen apart). I don't smoke, have pay TV, very rarely have a drink or go out, maybe 2-3 times a year. I shop around for bargains and only buy what we actually need, luckily I'm an OK cook so food doesn't get boring or samey. I keep on top of getting the best value for things like gas, electric, phone, internet (which I don't consider a luxury these days and especially now dd is in exam phase of school). Mobile and laptop were hand me downs from friends (yes I'm lucky to have thoughtful generous friends).

When I look at my spending habits as a newlywed with a good income as we both had full-time fairly well paid jobs and low outgoings I cringe.