to think some people really don't get look after the pennies...

[XCChamps]

and the pounds look after themselves. And that it really is true.

I have a colleague who's son is living in US. She's never been to visit him because she "can't afford to". Yet she comes into the office every day with a takeaway latte and buys a sandwich for lunch and something from Cook for her and her DH's dinner almost everyday. So as not to drip feed, she finishes work at 3pm, so it's not like she's finishing a long day with no time to cook.

Obviously it's her choice and if she'd rather buy those things than visit her son, that's up to her but she doesn't seem to understand how much she's spending and that before long it would add up to enough for that plane ticket.

I see/hear it loads. People spending regularly on unnecessary bits and pieces that they don't even really enjoy and then complaining loudly and frequently about how broke they are.

Does no-one know about looking after the pennies....?

^^this! We're not saying op's colleague has to save and go to USA and see her son but she is being unreasonable going on she can't afford it to OP she she could if it mattered enough to her.

I agree with PPs that it's more likely she's covering up a fear of flying or similar. People expect "I can't afford it" to be an acceptable answer. Hope she hasn't seen this thread!

Summer - I would also love your spreadsheet too, if possible. I am in so much trouble with spending I can't see the wood for the trees and am desperate to organise my finances.

I think some people have given up. Or are unambitious. Or have accepted their lot in life. They can't imagine doing or having the bigger things in life. So they enjoy the smaller things instead.

Another customer here Summer!

Or perhaps it just her way of rationalising the fact that her son does not want her to visit!

In his circumstances, if i could skype i would see no need for my mother to come visit me. In fact I would hate the idea and do anything to deterr it.

Also could someone clarify for me about the TV license. I thought it was payable if you watched tv full stop, and that only watching on line still required a license. But having a tv to play dvds and games only was exempt. It was what was drummed into us at uni. Did they change the rules?

nope if you only watch catch-up services like iplayer you don't need license..... at the moment

they're looking to change that.
Liensing info here

^Do I need a TV Licence if I only ever watch on demand services (e.g. catch-up TV), DVDs or downloaded programmes?
No you don??t. As you??re not watching or recording live TV, you don??t need a licence.
Live TV means any programme you watch or record at the same time as it??s being shown on TV or an online TV service.
If you only ever watch on demand programmes, you don??t need a TV Licence. On demand includes catch-up TV, streaming or downloading programmes after they??ve been shown on live TV, or programmes available online before being shown on live TV.^

whoops italics fail

Interesting. Thanks.

Wow so she is spending 3.5k a year now on her coffees. Thats inflation for you! If she lived in her car, she could save even more. Cow!

I see/hear it loads. People spending regularly on unnecessary bits and pieces that they don't even really enjoy and then complaining loudly and frequently about how broke they are.

Then YANBU...but really? I never hear this! Most people I know understand full well where their money goes.

Sometimes it'sjust different ways of viewing things. The prevailing wisdom seems to be saving up for holidays/big things =good, delayed gratification etc and spending on small things regularly=bad. Some of us just prefer to have a better standard of living throughout the year by spending little and often. We're more risk averse and I see splashing out thousands once as year as a big risk-what if you get sick/it rains the entire time/hotel's shit etc? fair enough saving up for a rainy day but i know people who won't buy their kids a second drink on a day out whilst sitting on thousands in the bank. I think it's crazy.

As a couple, dp and I have been very poor in the past. Down to pennies at the end of the month. Now we're comfortable I have two big luxuries, I'm a SAHM to our kids (although that's less of a luxury now dc2 has arrived) and not worrying about the small expenses. I love that I don't have to limit what I buy at the supermarket, I love that if ds needs new clothes I can just go and buy them, I love a take away sometimes and a coffee and cake when we're out. A pp called these sort of expenditures "daft" but they aren't to me. When I hear of people feeding their families for £30 a week, buying everything on offer, boiling the magic mn chicken carcass when they don't have to, just so they have more in savings than they did last month, I just think thank fuck I don't have to anymore.

I think how you are brought up is a huge factor. We have been much poorer than we are today and, even though we are very comfortable now, and don't stint on the big ticket items, we still watch the pennies.

So DD1 has just been to Blackpool with her boyfriend. Tesco deals paid for the Pleasure Beach and a meal in Bella Italia, and they worked out that a night in a basic hotel, with free parking, cost very little more than paying for parking.

DD2 has just started college and I have given her an allowance of £20 a week. She already takes a packed lunch but it has dawned on her that her break time cup of tea at £1.60 is going to cost her £8 a week. So today she has taken a flask.

As a family, we have a far higher income than many of their friends' families, but my girls are far more sensible with money than most of their mates.

I agree 100% Nicky

reminds me of my hard up 32 year old brother who is a frequently out of work actor, when he lived near us, frequently used to come round to print something on our £50 Argos printer because he couldn't afford one. The fact that he was printing things from his MacBook pro, having driven to us in his BMW touring car, having phoned us on his i-phone 6 beforehand to make the arrangements, was faintly amusing.

Another example of 'cant afford' being shorthand for 'cant be arsed' mintyy :)

YY tinkly

San - the lady is buying a ready made meal (£10 for 2 according to the website), a sandwich at lunchtime (1.50?/£2.50?) and a coffee daily (£?). That's great if she's happy to but frittering finances in such a way would seriously effect my finances.

We don't have a big disposable income but we have a major DVD/board game addiction. What helps is that a few years ago we started to use a cash book to record what we spent on this kind of entertainment stuff (also included books, apps etc). We agreed on a budget of £20pcm each, which rolls over. We sometimes share the cost (eg the new BBT box set - arrived today yippee! - goes in the book as £8.50 each). For 10 months I saved it all up for my iPod.

It seems a bit anal sometimes, writing it all down to the penny, but it's made such a big difference - it means we can still get the things we love, but we don't have to worry about overspending. It also means we don't have to justify our purchases to each other - I don't mean we ever did that in a controlling way, but all our money has always been shared, so we tended to discuss any spends anyway - in some things our tastes are vastly different!

I really need to figure out how we can apply the same logic to food treats though. I really do spend too much on crap food, both the stuff we order from Tesco and just when out and about. Not good for my waistline either.

DCs have both started getting pocket money now, and we are saying that they have to buy their treats from that. Hoping they learn to save but I'll actually be happy if they blow it all on sweets sometimes as I think they'll learn from it if they can't get what they want.

yes if you look after the pennies, the pounds will look after themselves. yes we all probably need to practise delayed gratification a bit more. But cutting out a latte on the way to work will not get you deposit for a house. (average coffee spend - £720 a year, average deposit - £40k. would take 55years+ to save on that!)
i'm trying to cut back on our food bill by buying the own or value brand of everything. would be ok if i didn't have a dh who just cant have anything other then the branded version as its just not nice! he's the fussiest eater i know and is the main culprit of our spiralling food bill but he just doesn't get it. its annoying when he is actually the tighter of us when it comes to money. always moaning about the amount i spend on the kids on clothes and activities etc. well i would rather spend my cash on them then in my belly.
each to their own though

It all depends so much on what else is going on in your life, what your real priorities are and whether or not you really have much chance of saving up for the big thing you want by cutting out the little regular treats you allow yourself.

If your big goal is to save up for a house deposit, and the one 'luxury' that cheers you up in the daily grind of a job you hate is a latte, then it's probably a bit pointless to give it up!
If, on the other hand, you are fairly happy in your job and daily life but are wishing you could afford a nice holiday, then taking sandwiches and a flask from home probably won't make you miserable and will make that holiday more likely.

I've not finished reading the full thread yet but it makes me think of this story. We discussed this in group therapy (for a disability, so we were talking a lot about work-life balance as it's so important for health)

_

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, ??only a little while. The American then asked why didn??t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family??s immediate needs. The American then asked, ??but what do you do with the rest of your time???

The Mexican fisherman said, ??I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.?? The American scoffed, ??I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.??

The Mexican fisherman asked, ??But, how long will this all take???

To which the American replied, ??15 ?? 20 years.??

??But what then??? Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, ??That??s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!??

??Millions ?? then what???

The American said, ??Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.??

Ooooh fecking question marks everywhere!

I'll admit we are guilty of this.

We haven't been able to afford a holiday for years but seem to constantly spend money on non essentials.

I think it's a bad habit we've got into.

I used to be so good with money.

But things I used to see as luxuries I now take for granted. Eg going to a cafe, magazines, running a car, naice wine, expensive activities for the DCs, it goes on...

fuzzpig I love that!