to think some people really don't get look after the pennies...

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and the pounds look after themselves. And that it really is true.

I have a colleague who's son is living in US. She's never been to visit him because she "can't afford to". Yet she comes into the office every day with a takeaway latte and buys a sandwich for lunch and something from Cook for her and her DH's dinner almost everyday. So as not to drip feed, she finishes work at 3pm, so it's not like she's finishing a long day with no time to cook.

Obviously it's her choice and if she'd rather buy those things than visit her son, that's up to her but she doesn't seem to understand how much she's spending and that before long it would add up to enough for that plane ticket.

I see/hear it loads. People spending regularly on unnecessary bits and pieces that they don't even really enjoy and then complaining loudly and frequently about how broke they are.

Does no-one know about looking after the pennies....?

funt, good for her, but because he saved up so much and was frugal she can now afford to live it up a bit , so I suppose you could argue we need both types in the world! I am the saver, worrier, and my DH is more 'only got one life' sort, although I know I will never ever save a million - maybe a grand if I really try!

"no pockets in shrouds!" This is a saying my dad is fond of.

At one point we were really worried about my gran ( his mum now sadly passed) as she seemed to be really struggling financially and was only getting what she absolutely needed and never treating herself. To the point we discovered things like she was forgoing things she actually needed. Dad and his siblings sat her down for a chat as they were worried she maybe had got herself into devt or something. There were 2 factors.

1 she'd been conned by a 'gutter repair' company

2 she had got it into her head she had to leave a set amount to each of her children as an inheritance. None of her kids are struggling far from it. They each have their own homes can afford what they need plus luxuries

Luckily they managed to persuade her that they didn't want her to leave anything but memories and to use her money.

To give you an idea how much she has available they were able to organise her a new kitchen, new bathroom a package holiday and a trip to see a sibling that had emigrated to Aus! Yet she was patching up clothes to make them last longer. Made us all so sad.

Debt not devt and had not has available MN seriously is an edit button too much to ask?

Bacon my grandma is spending all her money now, on herself and giving it to family. She keeps saying 'we might as well all enjoy it while I'm still around to see it'. Definitely the best attitude to have.
I'm glad your gran was persuaded to use the money.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag good for her! I hope the spending is creating lovely memories too. All my grandparents came from very deprived backgrounds and I think this can colour attitudes and fears so that even when they have money they're scared to spend it.

"I used to have a colleague who spent what must have added up to quite a lot on things like takeaway coffees, mineral water (a pointless expense IMO but she said she didn't like the taste of tap water), take-out lunches and ready meals. On the other hand, she was very frugal in other respects; she had little in the way of gadgets, for example."

This is me. I don't buy mineral water, but I do buy a diet coke every day rather than get a big bottle and take it with me.
I don't have a car, a sofa, a DVD player, TV, hi-fi or any of those things, just an old laptop and a phone I got for 10 pounds. I go on holiday very cheaply or stay with friends. I don't think I should be blamed for buying the kind of food I like to eat.

"YANBU OP. people often comment about the number of holidays we have (for context and not intending to boast, we will be going abroad 4 times this year plus a few UK weekends away).

But we spend very little on things like takeaway coffee, and most of our food is bought from Aldi and cooked from scratch."

That's your choice, but I'd rather have a nice life day-to-day rather than going without in preparation for holidays. It might rain on your holiday anyway. I pity those people who make sacrifices for a two-week holiday in the sun and then something goes wrong on that holiday.

"So in these examples you would save £45 a week, which is a significant saving with small changes."

It's not though really is it and you would be miserable. How many weeks would you need to save 45 pounds to get enough for a 20k deposit???
People who have bought houses have usually had help with the deposit or they've saved through having jobs that paid well, they haven't found all those thousands of pounds just by bringing in their own sandwiches.

"I think a lot of people almost inherit spending habits from their parents/family. Things like hairdressers - growing up, my mum used to have her hair cut by a lady who came to our house and charged £2.50 a cut...this was the 1980s admittedly. And she always dyed her hair herself before she decided to go grey completely."

The opposite can happen too Velvetspoon. If she had a ladder in her tights my mum would put nail varnish on it to stop it getting worse and wear it anyway, she never would have thrown it away, but I don't live like that despite having less money than she did. I don't darn my socks either. I think people in general have become bigger spenders.

"He is mid-thirties and blows all his salary on going out, eating and drinking."

Good for him.

"He has very old bedding and his clothes are worn."

So what?

If he's single, it's more important to be out and about and socialising than staying at home with new bedding isn't it?

Have not rtft but with regard to the op, unless the lady is constantly complaining about how poor she is (which would indeed be annoying) then it's not really anyone's business to speculate about how she manages her finances.

This thread makes me very sad. Going for a hot chocolate or whatever in cafes is more or less my only pleasure, with going out for meals and drinks with friends. I don't think my life would be worth living if I had to stay in on my own all the time (the people I know don't do going round to others' houses). I live alone and can see that it's different for a family, but even then people need a little bit of pleasure in their lives.

4 holidays a year? I'm exhausted just thinking about all the packing and unpacking. I guess it shows everyone is different.
People also mean different things when they say they've got no money left until pay day. Some genuinely mean that but it can also mean they've saved some and don't want to touch it.
Everyone has different priorities.

I think the opposite way to you, OP.

I cba with going on holiday at all and do not see the appeal of denying yourself lots of little treats throughout the year so you can spunk a fortune in a fortnight.

Obviously I'd save to go and see my own son.

But I have friends who are supertight with money then go to Floriday/Disney for a fortnight every year spending easily 10k. I could not/would not want to spend that kind of money on a fortnight's holiday when I'd rather spread it out throughout the year on day trips with the DC, eating out, cinema, and yeah, Costa coffee.

gwen no saving £45 a week won't get you house deposit.

but, it will mean the difference between being stoney broke at the end of the month and not. it means it won't be a crisis when an unexpected bill comes in.

Now if you'd rather have that coffee/TV subscription/whatever rather than having the peace of mind you have something for that rainy day then fine. Just don't moan that you have no money for paying things that need to be paid. Or complain when your car tyres needs replacing and you haven't got £100 spare and have to put it on the credit card again.

I am a bit of both. I am very sensible with money generally but will spend money on unnecessary magazines and more DVDs. Will happily pay out for my ds and I to go to things that cost money. We enjoy them and they make our time together better even if we could go to free things in the area. My dad was very sensible, he died 2 weeks after turning 31. Sometimes it's nice to just have things that please you now.

I think you have to think bigger scale here. Yes giving up coffees will help, but if I was frugal (going back to student budget) I could save up to £800 a month.

• no luxuries in supermarket, no organic food, no posh loo roll
• no toiletries
• no new clothes shopping
• no alcohol
• no theatre/national trust outings etc.

No toiletries? No wonder you wouldn't go on outings, people would be running upwind!

you can buy soap and deodrant cheapy cheap./ maybe she means "fancy" ones?

How I meant only soap, toothpaste etc...and not brands either.

Yeah it's disturbing how much I spend on toiletries alone...and I don't even wear makeup!

"gwen no saving £45 a week won't get you house deposit.

but, it will mean the difference between being stoney broke at the end of the month and not. it means it won't be a crisis when an unexpected bill comes in. "

I think we'd all agree that someone who is starving shouldn't buy prepared food, but the whole point of the thread is not about that. You savers aren't talking about saving to avoid poverty, but about saving to spend a big chunk on one thing, like going to America, and that's what I'm disputing. I wouldn't tell a homeless person to go and sit in Costa, but if I, as someone with a job, but who doesn't own her own home and can't afford inter-continental flights, want to do so, why is that a problem?

By the way, I agree about the TV subscription. I only watch catch-up so don't even have a licence.

It's all about balances & priorities, isn't it? I used to spend £150 a month - a while back; it would probably be £250 now - on skin & hair potions, with gym membership & beauty treatments on top of that. The environment I was in requires a high standard of presentation; if I'd been less polished, it would've been harder to earn the kind of money that pays for the polish. These days my total monthly expenditure on same is £7.50 I am not quite as polished - actually, not all polished! Neither am I earning silly money.

I have a vice I can barely afford: smoking. If I didn't smoke, you can be sure I'd spend my tobacco money on something else - more books, perhaps; a weekend away; the cinema, or even skin & hair stuff. I only have THIS money, though, so my addiction says this is how I spend it. Other people might consider the other things more worthy, but it's not their budget.

If we were all the same, we'd be very, very boring ...

I think we'd all agree that someone who is starving shouldn't buy prepared food, but the whole point of the thread is not about that.

You're right, it's not the focus of the thread - but I want to add a little story that changed my opinion on this. A few years ago, I lived in an outlying village. It's 5 miles along an A road from the nearest town. There is no pub and the only shop is a petrol stop, which doesn't sell any 'real' food. Buses run hourly from 8am to 5pm, no sunday service, and the return fare from the village is £6. (Some villages only have one weekly bus.)

In the shop, I often saw young mothers buying those ready-made burgers in buns that you microwave. They're £1 each and sometimes you get a free Coke or packet of crisps. It was the closest to food that they sold; the other viable product is canned soup, at £1.50 a tin.

I think they have to do that. They can't walk their kids 10 miles along a trunk road without pavements. It's irrational to pile them all on the bus at a total cost of around £15.

Now I'm all disabled, I've met an awful lot of people who actually can't cook, through physical disability or mental health issues; often both at once. If microwaving a lasagne is feasible, then it's the healthy choice from their position.

... erm, that was a bit long for a side post Anyway, it's all in the theme of horses for courses. There really isn't one 'right' way, is there?!

There's a balance. However I wouldn't have any sympathy for the women if she was rattling on about being too skint to visit her son. She is probably spending £15 a day, so £75 a week, £300 a month, 3.5k a year.