to wonder what if feels like to be a beauty?

[howtoread]

I don't think I am ugly and probably just missed being prettyish by a nose, literally. I am older now late 30's and I can't complain I have been in a loving relationship with my husband for 21 years and while my looks never opened any doors they didn't really hold me back except from the odd wobble induced my by own insecurities.

Having said all that I do still wonder at times what is it like to be so beautiful that people just want to be around you and see the best in you. I am not for a minute suggesting beautiful women have it easy, beauty carries with it its own set of problems to be sure.

What is it like to get on a bus or enter a room have everyone turn to look at you?

I do scrub up quite well. I think I can be (with a bit of spit and polish) very attractive. Yet a happy relationship eludes me which given that I come in pretty good packaging makes me think I must have a shit personality. I mean this. I have very little self confidence. Looks fade.

I think it has pluses and minuses. I have a friend who is so beautiful people literally do a double take, and she has to fend off comments and is constantly stared at. I've also noticed that among the women I know the more beautiful ones seem much more anxious about their appearance and unhappy in their own skin. I also dated a very handsome man once, and got the strong impression that he had never had to make an effort with people because of his looks and was much ruder and more boring because of it! But that relationship didn't end well so I'm possibly projecting.

It's a daily trial. Sigh.
(Ha I wish.) but I have a lovely soul.

I have been considered 'beautiful' l made my living from my looks.
However, l've had many shit things happen to me over the years. I haven't always had the easiest time.
In my opinion, averagely good looking people fair better. Especially females.

When you are beautiful, people don't want to be around you. Jealousy can be a killer, especially during the teen years.
I can almost guarantee your life probably wouldn't have been any different, even if you were 'beautiful'

I have a friend who is so beautiful people literally do a double take, and she has to fend off comments and is constantly stared at. I've also noticed that among the women I know the more beautiful ones seem much more anxious about their appearance and unhappy in their own skin.

I have a friend like this, and I have noticed this too. I also think,sometimes, people who are used to getting by on their looks are a lot less confident about what else they can bring to the table. So when they are with someone who isn't interested in them because of their looks, they panic a bit.

That's why I think it's important to praise using girls for things other than their looks, even when they are incredibly beautiful.

You want your looks to be an added bonus in your list of personal attributes, not all you've got.

Yep. I have a "beautiful" friend and she needs constant reassurance about her appearance, gets hassled by creeps. Not worth it, IMO.

I've never been pretty, probably quite attractive when I was younger. I never had a problem getting boyfriends, probably because I was (and am) quite bubbly and can be quite amusing on occasion. However, had very little self confidence and would have loved to be really pretty.

Now I'm old (my children are in their 30s so do the maths) I am more confident than I was when younger because I don't expect to be judged on looks anymore - I do notice that those of my friends who were very pretty when young seem far more concerned about losing their looks and worry more. It's very liberating!

Using girls YOUNG girls!

I think in would be considered attractive - but even writing that makes me cringe a little and a tiny voice is saying 'who the fuck are you kidding'. I'm terribly insecure and paranoid about how I look but that's due to things happening and things people have said in the past. If I have ever had attention due to my looks it just makes me feel awkward.

Being a bit older now I'm more comfortable with it but maybe because I'm pregnant and less hot haha. Imo people who just want to be around attractive people aren't worth having as friends.

I'm pretty, always had strings of boys, always at parties and popular. My best friend was a model. She was gorgeois! But she got lots of horrible older blokes with ££ hitting on us- her- all the time. Was a bit of a nightmare and turned her off blokes.
She was the victim of jealous types, and didn't have many female friends as her looks it intimidated them I think.
Her nick name at uni was "the body" As she was a dead ringer for Elle McPherson!
However she married well, got her dream job, and has a lovely life. So I think he looks served her well!

I was a beautiful looking child plain teenager and blossomed again now well I need to make more effort but i no longer turn heads

As a child in remember being called sexy and being told I would break hearts and I was aware that I got more attention which was difficult as I was very shy I also had a beautiful mum who loved the extra attention. I had a truly rubbish childhood but was told well at least you are good looking.

Occasionally I found women to be a little standoffish but that was a response to how I was to be honest I would pretend I didn't know how much attention I was getting but I did and I guess they could see thorough that but I would not say it was jealousy. Did I like the attention yes at times loved it other times I didn't and when I felt my most vulnerable I hated it.

I had very low self esteem crap at relationships as attraction changes and even though I wish I looked a little better than I do now another part of me is happier I have finally realised looks really do mean very little. I cringe when I hear adults overly praise children on their looks achievements no matter how small are so much more important

Don't people's definition of attractive differ though ?

I think I am far better looking than I actually am. I often get a shock when I look in the mirror. DH says the camera doesn't capture my real image - in that I look better in real life.

So, perhaps it is less about the actual arrangement of features, and the manner in which the owner uses them ?

does that make sense ?

My Mum was in this category. She had little confidence and instilled in me and my sister that the only important thing was looks. She always had random blokes hitting on her - at work, in the street - even at school parents evening. She seemed to think that she deserved a special life because of her beauty but ended up with quite a shit one.

I am fat and old now but used to model many many years ago. It was honestly some of the most unhappy times in my life. I would walk down the road and feel utterly paranoid, I got stalkers and my female friends at the time were some of the most fickle I have had. I ended up a bit reclusive with depression because I hated going out so much.

Now I look back and wish I still had my body (my stomach is buried under about 3 stone of flubber right now!) but I'm SO much happier in my own skin now.

I really hope I don't come across as arrogant in replying here - I promise I'm not at all!

I was an ugly duckling. I was repulsive as a teen. Spat at and everything, but some how I morphed into a stunner. I am completely unrecognisable.
Both genetically and personality wise.

I wonder too - I can't imagine it. But the very pretty people I know don't seem to have a very different life, except for (as others have said) more creepy older men coming up to them. I think maybe it's a bit like having big boobs (I do have those) in that some people seem to think you've done it on purpose to get attention? So if you're beautiful and people stare at you it doesn't necessarily feel very nice.

Fatfreefaff my mum was the same often acted spoilt and thrived on the attention thank fuck I could see from a young age how foolish she was

She can not deal with losing her looks and has been depressed because of this for years

Thank you everyone for your responses, it really seems that beauty is a double edged sword much like any gift I imagine. I wonder if being very young and beautiful creates a sort of false promise about life and that the reality is always a bit disappointing after? I reckon that is more down to youth though than beauty because I always felt a bit the same. I just wish I could have put myself forward a bit more and not felt so put off because I wasn't pretty enough.

I do agree with what one poster said about not praising girls based on looks. I have a very young neice not yet two and even I notice how I tell her how pretty or beautiful she look, she is but if that is what you hear all your life and then as a teen you feel you don't measure up it can me very soul destroying.

iwantgin has it bang on. It's the reason why Cara Delevingethingy is a model and so revered. We're told she's stunning, and she probably thinks she is, she we believe that.

People's experiences of being beautiful differ depending on which part of their life they're beautiful in and how closely linked their self confidence is to being good looking.

I was an average child, then had hideous acne as a teen but grew out of it and attracted a lot of male attention in my late teens through to my early 30s. It's not something I encouraged or craved as such, but I did play on it sometimes when I needed something. People will always treat you differently - they give you more for free and more benefit of the doubt, and are much nicer - when you look beautiful. I always used to notice a difference, like people were indifferent, when I went out on a morning with a hangover and last night's make-up on. My looks are definitely waning though, as I had a baby last year and look like quite crap a lot now. Saying that, I get wolf whistled out with the pram, which is even more bemusing than being chatted up in the pub, etc. I also think people are more respectful as you get older, or at least I seem to spend time with people who are. On occasion I'll go on a night out and I'm always really surprised at what people come out with about the way I look.

Old, overweight with shit hair now. As teenager/in 20s have been mistaken for Kelly Brook which gives you a rough idea looks-wise. Was often told how beautiful I was by men and women (friends and total strangers).

In a nutshell; men follow you; those that consider you out of their league are often aggressive and rude; there is no good way to turn someone down without pissing them off (even telling them you're married, even if it's true); you are not allowed to be clever (this breaks some unwritten rule) or be particularly talented at anything (because this is just not fair if you look like you do); as a teenager you will be invited out by other girls and dangled like bait, at a house-party with a captive audience of boys however, your invite mysteriously gets lost in the post (who needs the competition?); no-one is ever really pleased for you when you succeed at something (you got by on your looks after all; men will wear you like a Rolex but are not interested in your opinions or intelligence; if you date an average-looking man then people will assume he is rich and you are using him for his money because naturally you are a bitch because all good looking women are vacant, shallow, nasty mean-girls oh, and are thick as well.

P.S. to answer the bus/walking into a room question - in my experience, intimidating/welcome and useful depending on what you're doing at the time...

Oh, and don't be loud, you can't be noisy, can't be funny, coz y'know "Sleep, do you not get enough attention already?" So, shut up and look pretty and dumb, suppress your personality, no need to "show off" is there.

Not that I'm bitter of course ;)

Quite like the invisibility cloak of age, excess weight, glasses and short hair I don nowadays. Very refreshing to pass through life unchallenged and unmolested.

One of my very good friends is really, really good looking. Beautiful figure, really keeps herself well. She had a ltr which she finished after 15 years, no kids.
I've heard women bitching about her at work, going in about her make up, or saying she was a bitch-she is the most mild mannered person you could meet. All pure jealousy.
When we go out she gets hit on constantly. Always invited to the best parties, VIP members clubs etc. But the guys are really only interested in one thing. They never seem interested in a relationship. She has a great job, own home & car, no kids. She is lonely.
I think guys see her as a trophy. It's shit.

I was never a great beauty, but my best friend at school was. Think stunning Angelina jolie lookalike in a friendship group full of average spotty plump teenage girls. She was resented by all the other girls in our group, they would never let her meet their boyfriends in case they fancied her instead, she was constantly accused of flirting just by her mere existence, and she was generally treated quite badly by other girls. She was actually a sensitive soul who found the constant, often aggressive (and sometimes inappropriate for a young girl) male attention completely overwhelming. She suffers from severe depression now and is not a very happy person. of course this is not the experience of all beautiful girls, I know, but she was the most beautiful I ever knew so I thought of her immediately.