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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about dds nursery staff having lovebites?

134 replies

AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:41

I need to know if im being a twat or not in thinking like this as im really tempted to email the nursery.

Dd goes to a nursery who pride themselves on being professional, outstanding and providing the best care possible.

Dd loves it there, the staff are very on the ball etc etc.

Last week when picking dd up i noticed a staff member in her room has a love bite on her neck. I was alittle taken aback, but very quickly forgot about it.

Now i ve just picked dd up and another member of staff in her room is displaying two small love bites on her neck!

I feel its really unprofessional and i want to send an email off to the manager that they should be covered during working hours.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Jackie0 · 10/09/2015 17:43

Boke, yes they need to get the concealer out.
I've never worked anywhere that this would be acceptable , a bit grim isn't it?

TenForward82 · 10/09/2015 17:43

YANBU, IMO. Their personal lives are not your concern. So someone sucked on their neck, so what? They're not flashing their boobs around, are they? How would you feel if they got visible tattoos?

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:44

The thing i dont understand is the nursery are really strict on other things like they wont employ a smoker etc

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 10/09/2015 17:44

Yes you are being a twat. Their personal lives are none of your business!

DonkeyOaty · 10/09/2015 17:45

Now now before ye go off on one

Does it affect the care given to the children?

(As an aside give up your daily mail habit - "displaying" ffs)

spanisharmada · 10/09/2015 17:46

How would you like them to cover them? Do they not wear a uniform? I think YABU and cannot see why it would be a problem. It's not like the babies/toddlers are going to be influenced by it, it has no meaning for them and won't interfere with the care they receive.

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:48

I dont read the daily mail btw.

I think whats bothering me is that they are showing the children that its normal to have lovebites and it downgrades the professional side that they so well promote.

Its hard to describe why im so against it

OP posts:
MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/09/2015 17:48

How do you know for sure it was love bites both times? Last year I had a skin condition that made me look like a vampire had been at my neck, I was self conscious enough, without anyone pointing it out.

Not that it matters - even if it is love bites, it doesn't have any affect on how your child is cared for. In the nicest possible way, get a grip.

vindscreenviper · 10/09/2015 17:48

At least they weren't 'showcasing' them Donkey Grin

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:49

Dd is a pre schooler and they notice everything

OP posts:
Goshthatsspicy · 10/09/2015 17:49

They are probably doing it to each other on break time!

spanisharmada · 10/09/2015 17:49

The smoking thing I can understand as smoke clings to clothes, hair etc. Love bites don't transfer though.

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 10/09/2015 17:49

YABU. Smokers are addicted to something lethal and smelly which could directly affect the kids. Lovebites are tacky but completely harmless.

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:49

They do wear a uniform but it doesnt cover the neck area.

OP posts:
spanisharmada · 10/09/2015 17:50

But presumably she doesn't know wh??t a love bite is?! They just look like bruises to the uninformed.

mabythesea · 10/09/2015 17:51

Are you using a nursery with lots of teenage staff?

It doesn't impact on the children so none of your business really.

DirtyMugPolice · 10/09/2015 17:51

It's not as if the kids will be aware what love bites are though? If I had them I'd be really embarrassed and that would be enough for me to make sure I didn't come into work with them again. DH gave me one and I was super paranoid and my mate at work honed in on it right away despite a scarf!

mumsgoingtouni · 10/09/2015 17:51

People still do love bites?? I thought it was an 80's fad thing..

Gross, however. They should have a polo neck ready for such emergencies.

5madthings · 10/09/2015 17:52

Your dd may notice the love bite, but she won't know what it is, if she asks you tell her it's a bruise, which technically it is! I doubt that your toddler seeing the odd love bite is going to normalise them for her.

MaudGonneMad · 10/09/2015 17:52

You are being ridiculous.

It's none of your business.

TenForward82 · 10/09/2015 17:52

Yeah, kid won't know what it is until you tell them. Plus, although I agree it's tacky, it's really not that bad. It's not like a tattoo that says "twat" or something.

usual · 10/09/2015 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:55

They are not teenage staff, these two staff are in their early 20s.

I very rarely see anyone with a love bite these days.

If i had a love bite i would be so embarassed and if i couldnt cover it up i couldnt face people at work.

OP posts:
Witchend · 10/09/2015 17:55

Ds used to give me love bites when he was a toddler when I was cuddling him if I didn't watch out. On the basis you saw two lots, I wonder of it was done by one of the chikdren

EngTech · 10/09/2015 17:56

Does human rights come into this ? As long as children are safe, don`t see a problem

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