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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about dds nursery staff having lovebites?

134 replies

AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 17:41

I need to know if im being a twat or not in thinking like this as im really tempted to email the nursery.

Dd goes to a nursery who pride themselves on being professional, outstanding and providing the best care possible.

Dd loves it there, the staff are very on the ball etc etc.

Last week when picking dd up i noticed a staff member in her room has a love bite on her neck. I was alittle taken aback, but very quickly forgot about it.

Now i ve just picked dd up and another member of staff in her room is displaying two small love bites on her neck!

I feel its really unprofessional and i want to send an email off to the manager that they should be covered during working hours.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Wewereneverbeingboring · 10/09/2015 17:58

I was once teased at work for having a "lovebite" on my neck, except that it was actually a mark from where my then-husband grabbed me by the neck and pinned me against the wall. I was only in my early 20s.

Appreciate it's an unlikely scenario in both cases at your DD's nursery but like MrsGently's example YABU to be so quick to judge.

Doublebubblebubble · 10/09/2015 17:59

Are you sure that its love bites... If it is then, well, it isn't appropriate and isn't really your business but I don't see how it would really affect the children because they aren't to know what they are. If you say that the management are normally good on this type of thing could it not be a rash (although id wonder why they'd be there if it was a rash...) I think I might be being too nice lol x

Hulababy · 10/09/2015 18:01

It's unprofessional. If the nursery showcases itself as a professional business than the staff should also present a professional image.

Every school I've ever worked in would seem this is unacceptable and the staff would be expected it to be covered and out of sight. I don't think that's usual for most workplaces tbh.

Groovee · 10/09/2015 18:01

I used to work in a tweenie room and one child bit me on my neck after pretending to come in for a cuddle. It wasn't til I got home do noticed a "lovebite" on my neck! It could be something like that.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/09/2015 18:01

The children will have no idea what the marks are. If they do notice them, they will probably think the staff member has hurt themselves.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it.

LookingUpAtTheStars · 10/09/2015 18:02

Ds gave me quite lovebite as a toddler. How do you know it's not one of the children that caused them?

... I also accidentally gave myself one many years ago by sticking a car sunshade to my head for a laugh. Never been so glad I had a fringe! Blush

Spartans · 10/09/2015 18:03

The only love bites I ever had were from ds, when he was around one.

It's entirely possible a child did it.

It's also none of your business. It's doesn't effect their ability to work. A toddler won't remember what it was. If fact if a riddle asks, more people would say 'oh it's bruise' and not go ino the explanation of what a love bite and who gave them it.

ilovechristmas123 · 10/09/2015 18:04

what they do in their personal lives are just that BUT i do think they look awful to look at and they should cover them up as its not something that many people would want to see

i wouldnt want to see it be it nursery staff,shop worker or solicitor it just looks cheap and they should be covered for work purposes imo

TurnOffTheTv · 10/09/2015 18:06

Well it is a bit naff but that's about it.
And there is no way on earth a bunch a pre schoolers will know what a love bite is!

legohurtswhenyoustandonit · 10/09/2015 18:09

If they have made no attempt to cover them, I'd bet that they were done by one of the kids.

ShrewDriver · 10/09/2015 18:12
Grin

Oh come on. I believe you're quite well aware that the answer to your question is yes. YABU.
But thanks for the laugh. Grin

cocobean2805 · 10/09/2015 18:19

if they have made no attempt to cover them, I'd bet that they were done by one of the kids

Agree with this. I had a love bite off 18 mo DN once, I didn't realise, went to work (in a nursery!) and it wasn't until another member of staff pointed it out that I went and had a look in the mirror. I was mortified that they thought it was a lovebite!

Zucker · 10/09/2015 18:21

Unless they're sharing the love bite tales with the children YABU.

sugar21 · 10/09/2015 18:22

Yabu
The hickies were probably done by a child. It really is a non issue

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 18:25

I dont beleive they were done by a child. To get a love bite you need to bite and suck the skin.

I used to work in a nursery and have never known a child give an adult a love bite.

OP posts:
AskingForAPal · 10/09/2015 18:28

"showing the children that its normal to have lovebites"

HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

Will nobody think of the children?

Sorry OP but they are just bruises unless you know what you're looking at. I remember an older friend having loads of lovebites when he was about 15 and I was 12 or so, and I had no clue what he was so embarrassed about or why he was wearing a scarf! I'm sure toddlers are not going to be unduly influenced.

And unless both workers are seeing the same person, I too find the prospect of two grown people showing up with visible lovebites in the same week unlikely. More probable that one of the kids is a biter or pincher?

NobodyLivesHere · 10/09/2015 18:31

so numerous people tell you they've had them from children. but because you've never had one, then they must be wrong?

get over yourself OP.

5madthings · 10/09/2015 18:32

Lol at not believing they were done by a child, no teeth are needed that's for sure the suction that my bfed babies/toddlers had easily left a love bite mark if they latched on to the wrong place as they often did, on boobs, arms etc. Or yes just by pinching and twisting skin you can get a bruise that looks like a love bite.

TheSnufflet · 10/09/2015 18:32

Are you actually for real? YABU. Get a grip. Failing that, go up to the offending staff members and offer them a stick of cheap concealer, that ought to do it.

MaudGonneMad · 10/09/2015 18:32

What exactly do you think will happen if a child thinks that love bites are 'normal', OP?

OllyBJolly · 10/09/2015 18:34

I hadn't seen love bites for years and this weekend saw loads! Is it a fashion coming back.

Badge of honour back in 1978!

Theycallmemellowjello · 10/09/2015 18:36

I think it would be really creepy if you mentioned this!

Happyinthehills · 10/09/2015 18:36

You have loads of people telling you that children have done this to them. Yet you can't believe it? Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not possible.

Original poster
AmIBeingATwat · 10/09/2015 18:37

I just think it makes a great nursery look cheap.

Sorry but it knocked me sick when i saw them, i just thought how disgusting that your looking after my child like that.

I cant help the way i feel about it, its bugging me but i wont say anything as i can see the vast majority of people think its normal.

OP posts:
LoveChickens · 10/09/2015 18:37

YANBU, I would find it unprofessional.