AIBU about dds nursery staff having lovebites?

[AmIBeingATwat]

I need to know if im being a twat or not in thinking like this as im really tempted to email the nursery.

Dd goes to a nursery who pride themselves on being professional, outstanding and providing the best care possible.

Dd loves it there, the staff are very on the ball etc etc.

Last week when picking dd up i noticed a staff member in her room has a love bite on her neck. I was alittle taken aback, but very quickly forgot about it.

Now i ve just picked dd up and another member of staff in her room is displaying two small love bites on her neck!

I feel its really unprofessional and i want to send an email off to the manager that they should be covered during working hours.

AIBU?

I think it is unprofessional. It would make me question their professionalism and conduct at work.

Personally I like the look of the odd love bite.

It'd be a shame if the whole world consisted of staid old buttoned up prudes.
The girls are in their twenties? Exactly the correct age to be indulging in practices aligned to exuberant fornication IMO. In fact anywhere prior to thirty five is fair game tbh.

Yes yes OP you are being variously; unreasonable, censorious and ??gasp?? prudish.

Get a fucking grip of yourself, forthwith.

Maybe the reason so many people are not bothered or do not find it strange is because,
It doesn't impact on the care the children are receiving

The children won't even know what they are,

We don't even know if they are lovebites!!!!

Though according to op even after numerous posters have told their stories, a toddler could not possibly do it

Why oh why is "exuberant fornication" to be limited to the under 35s?
Does it require a licence now, with full declaration of DOB etc?

And OP, you made a mistake when you contacted this nursery; I bet you didn't tell the manager that only celibate people who didn't have any lives outside work could care for your special snowflake, did you?
Withdraw your child at once and start a search for just that establishment.

I would say, try the 1950s, but guess what people of all ages were having sex and looking after children then too!

I think whats bothering me is that they are showing the children that its normal to have lovebites

Of course when they reach their teen years they are going to remember those lovebites, aren't they?

I dread to think what Op would make of the baby boom at my DC's nursery. 3 pregnant staff, and I bet they weren't all immaculate conception

I had a patch of eczema that was quite lovebird like when I was a teenager. That was the source of a lot of ribbing, particularly after one smart arsenal suggested that I'd done it with a vacuum cleaner. Sigh.

God forbid they have a life outside of work...they are not alive solely to care for your child.

You've got a child op, so you have a love life or if not now, you've obviously had one in the past. Like the 3 pregnant ladies at MrsNooks DC nursery I highly doubt your pregnancy was the emasculate conception.

Although it definitely does not impact on care, the nursery I worked at frowned on this completely. So much so that a repeat offender (it wasn't me ) was taken into the office (cue dramatic music) and told it looked unprofessional and don't come to work like that again. She agreed and didn't. I don't think a parent complained, it was just noticeable. I think you are nbu to not like the way it looks, but if you are otherwise happy with your child's care then let it go.

I dont know why people keep talking about them being evidence of sex when apparently your children give them to you.

You dont need to have sex to get a love bite or any intimate sexual touching whatsoever. So your arguements on me not wanting the staff to have a sex life is not relevent to the thread.

Its disgusting to come into work with evidence on you that someone has been sucking at your neck.

Most people manage to have sex, kiss etc without getting a lovebite. They are just not necessary.

They are tacky, look cheap and well basically not appropriate to display in the workplace.

YANBU

It's unprofessional. I can't turn up for work with love bites on me and neither should I be allowed to.

It doesn't matter if the children don't know what they are or not, it is tacky and unprofessional and easily avoided.

I am shocked others don't think the same.

I would not have a strong reaction like you, and I wouldn't be worried about their ability to care for my child or anything, but I would think it was tacky and unprofessional.

Of course it could have been done by a child...

My dd2 gave me a love bite on my chest/boob at 3 months old
I had her on the carrier while lying down for my smear test and she got carried away

You are being a twat, yes.

If your child knows what a love bite is, then you've got more things to worry about.

I don't know if you're being unreasonable or not but you know how it makes you feel so it's worth mentioning.

Personally I think they should be covered while in uniform

I have an eczema patch on my boob that looks a little like a love bite. A few years ago I got (what I think was) a heat rash that looked like one too. Even if they are love bites the children won't know what they are and they are hardly going to tell them the truth if they ask.

I can see why you're thinking urgh though. Very tacky. YANBU to think that but would be if you email about it imo.

Yabu I think. Agree with pps who said they are possibly done by the nursery children. If so, they are workplace injuries and why should they cover them up? Have you asked them, a quick "wow, what a lovebite!" should result in either "yes, little Johnny from the bumblebee room does them" or an embarrassed hmm.

Unwashed hands would be unprofessional for a nursery nurse. Lovebites are fine even if they are more typical in teenagers than grown women.

Everyone's mentioning sex, OP, because you have said you don't believe they are caused by children. So people are saying, ok, let's assume they ARE caused by sex, so YABU to be pearl-clutching over evidence that they're having sex. You can't just be offended by the marks themselves, because they look like bruises, so are obviously offended by what they IMPLY - eg, that the staff are gettin' some. And that makes you U, because sex is not some evil naughty thing you need to shield your children from (not that, AGAIN, the kids even know what the marks are). Sex is natural, but you clearly have some issue with that. Plus their sex life is not your business.

" it knocked me sick when i saw them". Really? Did you clutch your pearls OP?

I think you might need to unclench a bit!

This is today's AIBU - no I'm not thread

OP: AIBU
MN: Yes. Yes you are.
OP: No I'm not

When dh worked for BT he got no less than 6 complaints from customers about him being covered in lovebites, how it was unprofessional and once even that the elderly householder felt vulnerable in his presence as he was 'obviously' over sexed.

They weren't love bites, they are birth marks, he has several on his back, shoulders, chest and neck, but judging by the amount of times customers called to complain it seems the op is not alone in her judging.

I don't think YABU, but I wouldn't complain about it.

I worked in a bar when I was 18 and my friend who worked there was told to cover them up by our manager when she had them.

What a ridiculous thing to even consider complaining about. I'd be more concerned at the implication that your nursery age children might be aware of what a "love bite" is.

It knocked you sick, hahaha, dear oh dear you are a snooty precious one arent you.

I hope the nursery manager tells the OP to get fucked.

I had no idea it was allowed to refuse to employ a smoker.
The love bit thing its not my cuppa but so what.