to be upset about DM giving identical gift to SIL's baby as my DD?

[moomin11]

Not sure if I've put that quite right but will explain!

DM gave me a lovely gift for my DD last month. DD is 10 months old and DM's first grandchild. I don't want to go into too much detail in case it outs me but the gift was very special as both me and my brother had one when we were born and it is from my mum's country - so kind of a tradition in our family. My DP's brother and his wife have recently had a baby boy, and we are so happy for them. They have been through a lot including a very difficult pregnancy, and we're all excited about our children being so close in age and having a cousin to grow up with.

So my DM gave me the gift at a joint family meal and it is beautiful. SIL, as well as everyone else, said how lovely it is etc. DM said the other day as SIL seemed to like it so much she will get one for her little boy. Which is lovely of her, but I have to admit I'm really put out! DM has only met SIL a few times and hasn't met her little boy yet. I know she likes SIL but I can't get my head around why she would give the same gift to her DS as her own granddaughter? It feels like it's taken the shine off the gift a bit.

So AIBU for feeling this way? I haven't said anything to her as I can't think of a way to without it coming across as childish!

I am really hoping the gift was a Moomin toy

Dammit, how did you guess?! It means so much to me

Your name gave it away Moomin I love the Moomins they are super special and loved everywhere. No one can take away from you that it's your family history and culture.

That is a super cute Moomin though

YANBU but people who don't RTFT are!

I reckon it is Russian dolls.
Like this but decreasing in size

I love the way that people don't bother to ever read threads on MN. It's like groundhog day. Or perhaps my opinion is so important that I don't need to read anyone else's. Which is kind of fair enough but they should at least read the OP's posts. Which should of course be a lovely shade of olive :)

I adore moomins. I read the books to DS and he said they were a bit weird, the little toad

Apologies if this has been suggested since you graciously capitulated. I skimmed from there on. You said how pleased you were that your dc and their cousin will be close in age and this was a special thing to you and DB. Do you think your mum might have given it you your il's dc partly to create a sense of 'special' with the cousins. In 40 years time they might be fondly remembering your mum as Moomin Lady :)

I'm in the minority as I completely understand why this has pained you, as I know I would have felt the same in that instant of her saying it. But of course, as you know, your Mum is clearly a generous hearted and loving person who wants to spread the love!! Which is great for everyone. And the kind thing to do is just what you are doing. Perhaps you could ask your Mum to get a slightly different version of "the thing"?

LyndaNotLinda I will be gutted if DD doesn't like them! Maybe I should start introducing them now before she has the ability to protest?!

Possibly GiddyOnZackHunt, DP and I are close to his DB and SIL so the children will spend a lot of time together and hopefully be friends. Love the idea of Moomin Lady, I wish it was a moomin now!

Thanks SirVixofVixHall. I was very taken aback and a bit disappointed but I think I am over it now, some of the replies have helped me see the situation different way and I'm just going to let it go.

in a different way even.

Moomins were part of my childhood in the UK. When we visited the land from which the Moomins came we bought Moomin things back several years ago. DS has an awesome touch and feel Moomin book and I'm eyeing up one of the comic books for when he is older.

So I think to a degree although they represent something special from your childhood which you feel reflects your cultural heritage they also got globalised too. They have survived the years and generations precisely because of that.

I also had Miffy things as a child. Miffy is Dutch and known as Nijntje there. (I wonder why they changed the name for the English speaking audience). We went to Holland shortly before DS was born so born some stuff for him whilst there as it reminded me of my childhood. The reaction others have had to it has surprised me. We are returning there before Christmas so I will be looking for gifts.

My point is that Moomins and Miffy belong to children. They don't belong to countries or adults though they can have a special affection for them from their own childhoods. The magic is retained because new generations find them or have them shared with them. To do that in the modern world you do need a mass market. For them to survive another generation to your grandchildren they need the love of as many children as possible.

Think of it as Christmas magic being shared more than simply a special family gift as its of one of those that probably does stretch further than being something to keep in the family. It does make it more special for your daughter as she has someone to share that magic with and will be able to reminisce with her cousin about her childhood in years to come rather than it just being a family gift thing that is restricted to your flesh and blood.

I hope you share the Moomins with your daughters friends too.

Oh dear, this is awkward it isn't anything to do with moomins - I thought HellonHeels was joking and I was joining in. Sorry guys! Although I do love the moomins (hence my username).

Whoops! Sorry. I wish it was a Moomin

It would make a great 1st birthday present though