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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset about DM giving identical gift to SIL's baby as my DD?

141 replies

moomin11 · 09/09/2015 10:46

Not sure if I've put that quite right but will explain!

DM gave me a lovely gift for my DD last month. DD is 10 months old and DM's first grandchild. I don't want to go into too much detail in case it outs me but the gift was very special as both me and my brother had one when we were born and it is from my mum's country - so kind of a tradition in our family. My DP's brother and his wife have recently had a baby boy, and we are so happy for them. They have been through a lot including a very difficult pregnancy, and we're all excited about our children being so close in age and having a cousin to grow up with.

So my DM gave me the gift at a joint family meal and it is beautiful. SIL, as well as everyone else, said how lovely it is etc. DM said the other day as SIL seemed to like it so much she will get one for her little boy. Which is lovely of her, but I have to admit I'm really put out! DM has only met SIL a few times and hasn't met her little boy yet. I know she likes SIL but I can't get my head around why she would give the same gift to her DS as her own granddaughter? It feels like it's taken the shine off the gift a bit.

So AIBU for feeling this way? I haven't said anything to her as I can't think of a way to without it coming across as childish!

OP posts:
HedgehogAtHome · 09/09/2015 10:48

YABU. Sorry.

NotTodaySatan · 09/09/2015 10:48

YABU.

And petty, immature and kinda spiteful too.

SalemSaberhagen · 09/09/2015 10:49

YABU, that's incredibly childish. She isn't taking your DDs gift and giving it to your SIL is she? I cannot fathom how this is bothering you.

duckyneedsaclean · 09/09/2015 10:49

YABU.

That's a lovely thing to do, she's welcoming sil's son into the family.

MissDexter · 09/09/2015 10:49

Is SIL's child also your DB's child?

hullabaloo234 · 09/09/2015 10:49

I'm sorry, but yes you are being massively unreasonable! I really don't think you should say anything to your DM about this, I'm afraid it will just make you sound a bit precious. Congratulations on your DD though!Smile

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2015 10:50

This is your mum's step grandchild presumably?

lynniep · 09/09/2015 10:50

I do think YABU. Your DM is being kind. She saw a chance to make someone happy. Let it go.

Salene · 09/09/2015 10:50

Yes you are being daft.

SalemSaberhagen · 09/09/2015 10:50

Miss it's OP's DP's DB's child.

Tuiles · 09/09/2015 10:50

Yes you are being childish. All babies are a gift and yours is no more special than the other. Your DM is doing a nice thing, be happy!

AndNowItsSeven · 09/09/2015 10:51

Of course yabu Biscuit

PookBob · 09/09/2015 10:51

YABU, it's a lovely thing to do.

echt · 09/09/2015 10:51

Oh, give over, OP.

Norest · 09/09/2015 10:51

Um...yea you kind of are.

Why does another person getting the same gift take the shine off? Do you place a lot of value in exclusivity? Does it make you feel less speical or something if you are not the only one with a specific gift?

cowbag1 · 09/09/2015 10:51

YABU. Maybe your DM doesn't place the same meaning on the gift as you do. Maybe to her it's just the kind of gift you would get for any newborn baby?

Might change things if we knew what it was though.

misskatamari · 09/09/2015 10:51

Yabu. It sounds like a lovely thing for your dm to do and doesn't reflect on you, or how she feels about her grandchild at all. I'm sure she would be really upset if you raised it with her, which would be really unfair of you. Sorry but your reaction does sound pretty childish

LittleMissIntrovert · 09/09/2015 10:51

I think it's a nice thing to do.

MissDexter it's her DPs brother not hers I think?

LyndaNotLinda · 09/09/2015 10:51

You can't say anything without it coming across as childish because it is childish

Norest · 09/09/2015 10:52

BTW have you told your partner you are upset his brother got the same gift? What would your partner's reaction be to that piece of information?

Your mum sounds lovely though!

Rarity08 · 09/09/2015 10:52

Yabu. Not nice at all. Your poor Sil.

catfordbetty · 09/09/2015 10:52

I cannot see how the gift which you once thought lovely can be diminished because someone else has received it too. In your position I would count my blessings.

gamerchick · 09/09/2015 10:52

It's fine if it makes you bristle.. Sometimes you can't help what you feel.

Just don't mention it IRL to anyone.

BarbarianMum · 09/09/2015 10:53
PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/09/2015 10:53

Yabu. Learn from your mother, she sounds like a lovely person.