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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about nursery or childminder

172 replies

Shiningdew · 05/09/2015 20:40

I am looking round some next week and thought I'd throw it out there tonight - which do you use and why? :)

OP posts:
Sirzy · 05/09/2015 20:41

I used nursery as it was what was best for DS.

You get good and bad of both though, so go with what feels right.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/09/2015 20:45

I use a childminder and nanny combo.

I do not like nurserys because IME they tend to (understandably) be more restrictive and do things to a time table because they have so many children.

Most of them around here are staffed by teenagers as well and if I wanted to entrust a teenager with my children I would hire a baby sitter. Quite a few that I have come across have problems with staff retention and that also raises concerns with me.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 05/09/2015 20:49

We used nursery as we got it subsidised through work and as I work shifts I need something reliable and all year round including the Christmas period. I also wanted the DC to be with other children. Luckily we have a fantastic nursery which both DC love.

Original poster
Shiningdew · 05/09/2015 20:51

I have looked into nannies but I'm put off by the tax and the like - I'm not great with finances

OP posts:
Binkybix · 05/09/2015 20:56

A childminder for us because it was very close to our house, she feeds them 3 proper meals and because there are enough children there for him to have friends but not too overwhelming as he used to be quite quiet in big groups. It also means they can go out to groups and the park in the day.

ALittleBirdie · 05/09/2015 20:57

A childminder was best for my dc. Wanted him to have a strong bond with just 1 person. It was definitely the right choice for both of us, he's settled really well.

Ineedtimeoff · 05/09/2015 21:01

DD never settled with her childminder but got on so well at her nursery. You will get terrible nurseries and terrible childminders. I think you just need to do your research and find what suits your family and your child's needs. Very personal choice.

I find mumsnet tends to be slightly more pro childminder, doesn't mean that's going to be right for you though.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 05/09/2015 21:05

childminder as more flexible as I didn't need long hours or school holidays. Also, the local nurseries didn't have great reviews and the staff were very very young.
I ended up using 3 childminders, 1st was fantastic but we had to move as not close enough to our primary school for school run. 2nd was a disaster and left after 1 month. 3rd was fantastic as well. Do your research and ask around for recommendations and trust your instincts,

Original poster
Shiningdew · 05/09/2015 21:06

It's hard as I don't think i really want them to bond closely with one person.

OP posts:
whathaveiforgottentoday · 05/09/2015 21:07

Also mine started quite young (9 months) so preferred a more home like environment that you get with a childminder.

slithytove · 05/09/2015 21:08

I used nursery BUT sent my kids before needing to I.e. I wasn't working. So there was no pressure, and they love it.

I chose it because his friends went there, I loved my look around, it's revised really well, and the kids came out of their trials so happy. They also monitor their development closely and seem to do all sorts with them. They NEVER come home clean which makes me happy

Fluffy24 · 05/09/2015 21:11

Nursery - i perceive to be more reliable (open all year round, no issue if CM sick) and accountable. I like the fact the staff are all qualified professionals who have chosen early years childcare as their career, and been to college (I'm not saying there aren't child minders who are very professional and studied childcare at college). I like that staff are supported by the rest of a larger team.

Yes there is a more fixed routine but we have just changed our home routine at weekends to fit, its not really a big deal.

I know that staff retention is important - but most of our nursery staff have been there for 4+ years which I take as a good sign. The staff are young (compared to me Blush) but I'm always impressed by their professionalism, their energy and enthusiasm, their knowledge (I find them a good source of advice), but most of all their warmth - they genuinely seem to like the kids!

Hero1callylost · 05/09/2015 21:11

YY to Ineedtimeogff, so much depends on the individual setting

We use a nursery - Busybees chain. They grow food with the children which they use for cooking. Meals are amazing and healthy, DS eats better than we do!

I wanted the reliability of nursery - with a childminder you tend to be bound to when they want to take their holidays and I was worried about sick cover as I don't have any back up options/family nearby.

My DS is extremely active and sociable so the big garden at nursery and lots of other children to play with really suits him.

Just have a look round a few places, you'll soon get a feel for what you like and can then compare between providers. TBH sometimes it comes down to who has spaces on the right days!

SolsburyHell · 05/09/2015 21:13

A nursery worked well for us. Always open, large number of children of the same age to mix with, key worker system, open and transparent rather than behind the closed doors of their (Childminder) own home.

There are downsides but nursery edged it for us and we're about to use it for dc2.

GoooRooo · 05/09/2015 21:13

I used a childminder for three months until she turned out to be a fruitcake. I then moved DS to a nursery.

I'm expecting DC2 this month and nursery no longer take children under 2 so I'm using a (different and hopefully sane) childminder for her.

Ziar · 05/09/2015 21:14

Bonding with another person in your absence is far better for a child's mental health Smile it won't take anything away from the love for a parent, but it will provide a sense of attachment and security that is vital for well being.

As long as the person is everything a childminder should be, childminder hands down IMO.

Ziar · 05/09/2015 21:16

For the record I'm not bashing a nursery environment completely. A consistent key worker can provide similar security.

99percentchocolate · 05/09/2015 21:18

It completely depends on the nursery and the childminder. Fantastic nursery in one town, better than any childminders in the area but moved to another town and it was the opposite. DD had an awful experience in nursery ending in withdrawal and ofsted report (who did F all). She still has nightmares about it months later. Childminder we know is incredible though and if we needed her services I would send her there with no hesitation.

ILoveMyMonkey · 05/09/2015 21:18

I chose a nursery because I didn't like the idea that any old person could be coming and going from a childminders house and I wouldn't know anything about them, at least in a nursery they are checked, regulated, kept an eye on - paranoid yes but can't help that. Aside from that my boy loves it, started at 8 months a month before I returned to work so he was very settled by the time I went back and now at nearly 3 loves it even more.

It's completely personal choice and once you've found the right place / person you'll know.

Original poster
Shiningdew · 05/09/2015 21:18

I do need complete reliability, and also would like meals to be veggie which I think a nursery might be more inclined to provide than a childminder.

OP posts:
Blueberry234 · 05/09/2015 21:18

We chose a CM and have been really lucky, one day sick in 4 years and followed on with wraparound care for school and is probably part of the family, we love her!

StormyBlue · 05/09/2015 21:20

Depends on the age of the DC.

There is a lot of research about the benefits of young children forming positive attachments and just from my experience I feel that having small groups or one on one care that childminders and nannies provide is a much more nurturing and relaxed atmosphere ideal for babies and young toddlers.

However, I think around age 2 there are real benefits to be had sending them to a good preschool. They can make friends, I have my eyes on one for DS which has fantastic opportunities for them like a forest school and preschooler french sessions, and I think children who attend preschool are more likely to be more confident starting school and therefore get a better start socially and academically.

Binkybix · 05/09/2015 21:22

See I really wanted mine to bond to the childminder. It was the other thing I considered in making our decision.

Fluffy24 · 05/09/2015 21:22

Ziar
As long as the person is everything a childminder should be, childminder hands down IMO.

Agree totally, but that was the problem for me, not sure how I could make sure it was a really good child minder, or that I'd know quickly enough if they weren't great (particularly as it's not something you can take risks with or can chop and change a lot).

Ineedtimeoff · 05/09/2015 21:22

Should say that the nursery we used for DD was amazing. All the staff were early years qualified and there was a primary teacher in the anti and pre-school year. She made some amazing friends there. There was a group of around 10 of them that were in the same year group that slept in cots next to each other as babies and passed up through the different age rooms until moving on to different schools. Thy have remained great friends and still see each other regularly. They're more like cousins than friends.