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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really worried and to have called 101

137 replies

murasaki · 05/09/2015 13:57

No one has seen an elderly friend of mine for 10 days. He's always in the pub near work, which is where I know him from, and hasn't been. And isn't answering his phone, and if he's not in the pub, he's always at home. Or his email.

So this morning having only found out yesterday that no one had seen him, as I hadn't been in the pub until then, I tried him again, both local hospitals, and then phoned 101 to go round as I'm the other side of London. I don't think this is going to go well. They said they would send someone round within about 60 mins, and let me know what the score is.

I hope I haven't wasted their time, the copper was v nice, and said I'd done well to check the hospitals first.

AIBU to hope against hope that I have wasted their time and the curmudgeonly old bastard is just taking time out from commmunications?

OP posts:
Spilose · 05/09/2015 14:01

I don't think yabu. Hope your friend is okay

ImperialBlether · 05/09/2015 14:01

He's not on holiday?

sleepyelectricsheep · 05/09/2015 14:03

You have done the right thing. Hope he's OK.

honeysucklejasmine · 05/09/2015 14:03

YANBU. Fingers crossed he's fine.

DragonsCanHop · 05/09/2015 14:04

Yanbu I did the same thing years ago, he was on holiday.

TidyDancer · 05/09/2015 14:05

You did the right thing in calling the police. I would've done exactly the same in the circumstances.

goldglittershitter · 05/09/2015 14:05

Yanbu, people slip under the radar all the time because people don't check in/report it. I hope ur friend is ok.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/09/2015 14:06

Yanbu at all.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/09/2015 14:07

We had something similar. Sadly he had died :(

Hope your chap's on his holidays op.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:08

He doesn't go on holiday! Seriously, he lives in about a square mile area, it's a running joke that if it's north of the euston road he doesn't go there.

I hope I'm wrong, and he'll be telling me off for being a nosy baggage next week over a cider, but I have a really bad feeling. And if I'd known earlier, I would have done something earlier, that makes me feel awful.

They said they'd call me, but am twitching at my phone.

Glad to hear you thnk I did the right thing in calling. He'd had two mini strokes a few years ago and is on medication, which is partly what prompted me to do something. I just hope he's alright.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/09/2015 14:09

I hope you've wasted their time and he's safe and well. YWNBU to ring.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:09

Movingonup - that's what I fear has happened. All alone in his flat.

OP posts:
helenthemadexy · 05/09/2015 14:10

its absolutely the right thing to do, I hope he is ok

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:10

it also drew a parallel with another friend who died this year - his newsagent realised he hadn't seen him for two days, and he always got his paper, so went to the local to ask if anyone had seen him. Two friends who had keys went round and found him dead in bed.

I know that's a different case, but it's what started me worrying.

OP posts:
Iwasworried · 05/09/2015 14:10

Yanbu, well done for thinking of him and for calling. It's so easy for old people to slip off the radar, it scares me for my future. I really hope he's ok, fingers crossed for you.

jorahmormont · 05/09/2015 14:11

Hope he's safe and well, YANBU to ring at all.

Twolefttoes · 05/09/2015 14:13

Yanbu, better to phone and be wrong, than to do nothing and wish you had.

duckyneedsaclean · 05/09/2015 14:13

How worrying op. Hope it's a false alarm.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:13

Thank you all. I hope I am not being unreasonable to have a glass of wine, a fag, and judge judy on to distract me. DP is at work (have kept him in the loop) and this is one of the least pleasant saturday afternoons in livig memory.

Glad you think i did the right thing, one does worry that the police must have more important things to do, but they were very nice and at least pretended that I'm not being overly cautious

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 05/09/2015 14:15

Yanbu. Hopefully he's just abit poorly and laid up in bed.

Lj8893 · 05/09/2015 14:15

The police will be more than happy to do a welfare check, don't worry about that.

DancingWithWillard · 05/09/2015 14:18

I think they would much rather be called out to check on an elderly person and find them fine and well than to have to deal with the other side of the coin. I hope your friend is ok, and will be giving you grief over a pint soon. I absolutely think the police will be glad you called. Let us know the outcome.

Finola1step · 05/09/2015 14:20

You've done the right thing.

Ratbagcatbag · 05/09/2015 14:21

Agree calling was the right thing. I too hope that he's moaning at you shortly for interfering.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:21

Will do. As I say, he can call me an interfering baggage as much as he likes, as long as he's ok.

Just remembered I forgot to tell the cops that the lift is out in his side of the building (it's a mansion black) and you have to go round to the other door and up and over the roof. Bugger. Ah well, they'll figure it out.

OP posts: