To be really worried and to have called 101

[murasaki]

No one has seen an elderly friend of mine for 10 days. He's always in the pub near work, which is where I know him from, and hasn't been. And isn't answering his phone, and if he's not in the pub, he's always at home. Or his email.

So this morning having only found out yesterday that no one had seen him, as I hadn't been in the pub until then, I tried him again, both local hospitals, and then phoned 101 to go round as I'm the other side of London. I don't think this is going to go well. They said they would send someone round within about 60 mins, and let me know what the score is.

I hope I haven't wasted their time, the copper was v nice, and said I'd done well to check the hospitals first.

AIBU to hope against hope that I have wasted their time and the curmudgeonly old bastard is just taking time out from commmunications?

[HarrietVane99]

You did the right thing in calling. An elderly and disabled friend of mine once had the police at her door one evening due to a mix-up. She apologised to them, but said they were very very nice and kind to her and said they'd always rather come out unnecessarily than have someone not call for fear of wasting their time.

I hope your friend is ok.

[murasaki]

Harriet, I'm glad they were nice about it. Here's hoping for a similar outcome.

[Finola1step]

Posted too soon.

My mum and dad used to live below an elderly man. They all moved to different parts of London, sent Christmas cards. Mum didn't receive a card one year, thought it odd. Very sadly he was found in his chair, with one Christmas card on the mantle piece. Very, very sad.

Your friend is v lucky that you have noticed and done something. He may be poorly and need help. He may be absolutely fine. Hopefully he is but he will at least know that you are looking out for him. That's priceless.

[murasaki]

Finola - that's very sad.

What do they do if they get there and there's no answer? kick the door down? I genuinely have no idea. As there is v unlikely to be an answer if the landline wasn't being picked up, several times over two days

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

I did the same thing for my parents once. They live 200 miles away, and I hadn't been able to contact them for several days (they weren't answering the phone) so I was very worried. I called the Police who popped in. My Mum was absolutely furious with me, but the Police were lovely, and told me they'd much rather call on someone to find them safe and well, than the other unthinkable alternative.

Hope your friend is safe and well Murasaki

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Finola -

[SilverNightFairy]

Best wishes that your old gent is found safe and happy. The police at my station are more than happy to go out on welfare checks.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I am pleased you are looking out for one another, you have absolutely done the right thing. Hope your friend is ok.

[murasaki]

I hope so.

he hasn't really got any family, his sister died a few months ago, his wife 7 years ago (and he always knew the number of months and days too, they were together for years but only married when she was severely ill with breast cancer, just before she died). Just one nephew who I know he dislikes intensely. Whose full name I don't know, just his first name.

No idea what I'm supposed to do if it all does go wrong. But am still hoping it won't.

[maybebabybee]

Finola how awful

Hope your friend is OK OP.

[definiteissues]

I hope he is ok op, you did the right thing to call

[murasaki]

Landlord of the pub that he drinks in just called (i checked there first before calling the hospitals, police etc)

the police turned up and knocked on the neighbours door, and she popped to the pub for clarification as it's literally round the corner. she also hadn't seen him for ages. Landlord thinks they will kick the door down. Teamwork in action, but not looking good.

[googoodolly]

Fingers crossed for you, OP. The waiting must be awful

[fabuLou]

Fingers crossed hes ok

[CatThiefKeith]

I hope you get good news OP.

[TheCatsMother99]

OP, whatever the outcome, you did the right thing and are a good friend.

Hope everything turns out ok.

[murasaki]

There is no waiting. Ahmed the landlord just called. it was what I worried about. the police will call later. The neighbour too.

He was all alone. And I am crying. We should have done something earlier. I couldn't, I didn't know. I feel so bad for him. I want DP home.

[Rarity08]

I hope all is well.

[Iwasworried]

Oh so sorry OP. You did your best. Well done you for caring.

[Rarity08]

Sorry x post

[Ratbagcatbag]

I'm so sorry. Hugs for you and for caring enough to make the phone call and start the process off though. :(

[Carlywurly]

Oh op, I'm so sorry. He sounds as though he was lucky to have known you though.

[MummyPig24]

Oh how very sad. I'm sorry op, but like you said you couldn't have done anything as you didn't know.