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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really worried and to have called 101

137 replies

murasaki · 05/09/2015 13:57

No one has seen an elderly friend of mine for 10 days. He's always in the pub near work, which is where I know him from, and hasn't been. And isn't answering his phone, and if he's not in the pub, he's always at home. Or his email.

So this morning having only found out yesterday that no one had seen him, as I hadn't been in the pub until then, I tried him again, both local hospitals, and then phoned 101 to go round as I'm the other side of London. I don't think this is going to go well. They said they would send someone round within about 60 mins, and let me know what the score is.

I hope I haven't wasted their time, the copper was v nice, and said I'd done well to check the hospitals first.

AIBU to hope against hope that I have wasted their time and the curmudgeonly old bastard is just taking time out from commmunications?

OP posts:
LoopyLily · 05/09/2015 14:59

I hope your friend is ok. Flowers

NationMcKinley · 05/09/2015 14:59

Oh I'm so sorry. Flowers for you.

Lj8893 · 05/09/2015 14:59

I'm so sorry, don't blame yourself. Flowers

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 14:59

Dp on the way home. Ahmed will call later. I just hope it was a stroke and he knew nothing. Fair play to the police for getting there quickly, but what if someone had called earlier in the week? they obviously don't know how long it's been

thank you all for being here, it's horrible being alone and waiting. and hearing. you have all been wonderful. I am so sad.

OP posts:
MrsReiver · 05/09/2015 15:00

Very sorry for your loss Flowers

Wankarella · 05/09/2015 15:01

So sorry OP Flowers Sad

Bishboshbash · 05/09/2015 15:01

Sorry to hear about your friend OP, you did what you could, try not to feel bad about that. Take care Flowers

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 15:01

mind you, I don't know that anyone else had his number, he was a solitary man. I only had it as I arranged to sort out software for his laptop from work so he needed to bring it to my office.

was is not nice

OP posts:
scatterthenuns · 05/09/2015 15:02

Absolutely the right thing.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 15:02

can't fault the police. at all. But i have a reference number in front of me on a pad. Dave reduced to a number.

OP posts:
scatterthenuns · 05/09/2015 15:03

Oh shite, I'm so sorry OP Flowers

Aeroflotgirl · 05/09/2015 15:04

Oh op I am so sorry SadFlowers. You so did the right thing, it takes a community and all that. As a community we have a responsibility to look out for the vulnerable. I have an elderly mother, I live 50 miles away and do t drive. I gave 2 Kids with SN, so we see her once a month. I hope her neighbours look out for her, the way you look out fr your friend. I call my mum every day, one day she did not answer, or the following day. Very unusual as she is a creature of habit. I called 999, (before 111), thank goodness she was ok, she had decided to stay with a friend without telling me her whereabouts.

grapejuicerocks · 05/09/2015 15:06

So sorry but at least you were concerned for him. He could have gone on undiscovered for much longer if it wasn't for you. Fingers crossed it was quick.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 15:06

Turns out it was a unanimous AIBU. Even from the police (they've not called yet but that's fine, they know Ahmed has.

A hollow achievement. (that was a sort of joke, a smily face seems inappropriate).

Thank you all so much for waiting with me, it really helped. Nest of vipers indeed.

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 05/09/2015 15:06

So sorry OP. That's brought a tear to my eye Sad

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 15:08

Just wish I'd been over reacting and not right to worry

OP posts:
TheCatsMother99 · 05/09/2015 15:09

I'm so sorry to hear about Dave, OP.

Glad to hear your DP is on his way home so you have someone with you as I imagine you're probably a bit shocked.

As I said before, he was very lucky to have you as a friend.

gamerchick · 05/09/2015 15:09

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

googoodolly · 05/09/2015 15:09

Oh, OP I'm sorry [hugs]

Moreshabbythanchic · 05/09/2015 15:11

So sorry for your loss murasaki, you sound like a lovely friend.

HedgehogAtHome · 05/09/2015 15:12

I'm sorry Flowers

rightsaidthread · 05/09/2015 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 15:13

I guess at least he's with Helen. He loved her so much. When she died she wanted all her money to go to WWF, so he lived off the interest and wouuldn't spend the capital, as it was her money not his. he was very canny with moving it around for interest rates. the tight fisted so and so.

We had our own table in the pub, always sat there. it will be strange.

DP needs to hurry up and get home and go to the shop for wine, as I am a bit of a tearstained mess and can't face the shop.

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 05/09/2015 15:14

Oh, dear! Flowers
Sorry it didn't have a positive outcome.
Your friend must know, though, that he had people like you looking out for him. Don't blame yourself, you did what you could.

BertieBotts · 05/09/2015 15:18

Oh bless. He sounds lovely. I'm sorry. I'm sure he's at peace now. Much nicer that he was found by somebody concerned than by a neighbour reporting a smell or anything more sinister.

Flowers
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