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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really worried and to have called 101

137 replies

murasaki · 05/09/2015 13:57

No one has seen an elderly friend of mine for 10 days. He's always in the pub near work, which is where I know him from, and hasn't been. And isn't answering his phone, and if he's not in the pub, he's always at home. Or his email.

So this morning having only found out yesterday that no one had seen him, as I hadn't been in the pub until then, I tried him again, both local hospitals, and then phoned 101 to go round as I'm the other side of London. I don't think this is going to go well. They said they would send someone round within about 60 mins, and let me know what the score is.

I hope I haven't wasted their time, the copper was v nice, and said I'd done well to check the hospitals first.

AIBU to hope against hope that I have wasted their time and the curmudgeonly old bastard is just taking time out from commmunications?

OP posts:
Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 22:10

You have all been lovely, I said to DP that I wouldn't have held it together waiting for news and waiting for him to get home without you. He also thinks you are fab.

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Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/09/2015 22:10

Dave reduced to a number

No, not just a number murasaki - already he's made you smile at a happy memory, and just look at what he enjoyed: navy days and mates, a happy relationship then marriage with a woman he clearly honoured, his lovely times with you at "your" pub table and no doubt many more you've not quite remembered yet

And the knowledge that Ahmed and those he knew will care enough to have a little "do" for him? Believe me it's a whole lot more than many have

Just a number? No ... never

FarelyKnuts · 05/09/2015 22:16

I'm so sorry for your loss Murasaki. Flowers
RIP Dave

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 22:23

Puzzle - thank you, that helps a lot . and you're right about the number. although i need to keep it to calll in to the cops apparently, the lovely man who phoned me last said so, dial 101 and quote the number, . so will do. I don't want 'Dids' the horrible nephew to be in charge as dave would have hated that, but we shall see. I have no experience of this, my parents are still married and treking in uzbekistan for their holidays. this is outside my sphere of experience.

it's just my pub buddy/surrogate dad / friend has gone, and I might have been able to help earlier. I know that's silly and not true, but I can't stop crying.

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Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 22:30

He was a total luddite, bar the laptop, that I set up for him. Like my dad, he never turned his mobile phone on (no one calls me so why? er well, have a little thinK about that . Dad has still not changed his ways either).

when we were in the pub midst conversation and needed facts, he'd say 'look it up in your book (my ipad), it's always my book to me.

Sorry for going on, but it's probably the only space he will be remembered. apart from his voicemail where the last message will probably be me being worried and telling him to call me. Same with his email.

Thank you all so much.

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dementedDementor · 05/09/2015 22:34

Rip Dave. Sounds like you were a right character. Flowers

bringthenoise · 05/09/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 22:41

He was a total arse. but in the best way. I am so grateful to you all for your support today, couldn't have done all the calls to the authorities without you.

I hope they don't just throw the contents of his flat out as it's a council flat (don't know how it works) - he has shitloads of teddy bears that he and helen collected. they were his talk to people indoors (not ashamed of admitting that) after his last cat died. I don't know what I can or should do.

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WhitePhantom · 05/09/2015 23:06

I'm so sorry for your loss Sad Flowers

He'll always be with you, and you've done a lovely thing for him.

It sounds like he was quite lonely, but you must have made him so happy meeting at 'your' table in the pub. Hold onto that. I'm sure he looked on you as his pub buddy, surrogate daughter and friend.

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 23:19

Thank you. I hope so. The practicalities will hit in from here on, which will not be fun, I hope you lovely people will give advice if it's needed. Keep crying on DP (who knew him , but not for so long), he's being lovely.

It's another day tomorrow.

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Mermaidhair · 06/09/2015 12:58

FlowersWine, you are such a beautiful person. Just read the thread. I'm glad he is now with his wife.

Original poster
murasaki · 06/09/2015 13:51

I'm glad too. Hopefully the police/council will be in touch so we can organise everything. Am going to see Ahmed tomorrow to thank him for all his help yesterday

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