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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really worried and to have called 101

137 replies

murasaki · 05/09/2015 13:57

No one has seen an elderly friend of mine for 10 days. He's always in the pub near work, which is where I know him from, and hasn't been. And isn't answering his phone, and if he's not in the pub, he's always at home. Or his email.

So this morning having only found out yesterday that no one had seen him, as I hadn't been in the pub until then, I tried him again, both local hospitals, and then phoned 101 to go round as I'm the other side of London. I don't think this is going to go well. They said they would send someone round within about 60 mins, and let me know what the score is.

I hope I haven't wasted their time, the copper was v nice, and said I'd done well to check the hospitals first.

AIBU to hope against hope that I have wasted their time and the curmudgeonly old bastard is just taking time out from commmunications?

OP posts:
DirtyMugPolice · 05/09/2015 17:42

I'm so sorry :(

Finola1step · 05/09/2015 17:57

I'm so sorry about your friend. Flowers

Spilose · 05/09/2015 18:04

I'm so sorry OP

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 18:08

Thank you. Am busy trying to think of people who would like to know and contacting them.

OP posts:
DriverSurpriseMe · 05/09/2015 18:17

Oh, poor man. And poor you.

But you did a good thing and Dave was found. It could have been a much more traumatic and undignified outcome if you hadn't made the call.

fabuLou · 05/09/2015 18:25

Who will arrange Dave's funeral?

Squiff85 · 05/09/2015 18:27

I think you did the right thing, I hope he is OK

shazzarooney99 · 05/09/2015 18:33

Did you ever find out how he was?

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 18:40

Faby - don't know. I told them the scanty details about the hated nephew, but said I could be point of contact, as I don't know if they can track him down, and Dave would hate it anyway.

I guess the council will be in charge, it's a council flat, but as I said, have asked the coppers to keep me in the loop. the coppers were lovely.

OP posts:
PHANTOMnamechanger · 05/09/2015 18:48

crikey people, please read the full thread, OPs friend had died, at home on his own - and no one knows how long he had been there before Op, quite rightly, raised the alarm.

well done OP.

fabuLou · 05/09/2015 18:48

Ahh what a shame. Do you think many people will attend? Poor old thing.

londonrach · 05/09/2015 18:53

Hoping your friend is ok. Yanbu re calling. Its the right thing to do. The police dont mind. Sadly i know from personal experience. Someone called the police about one of my neighbours as he missed blind club that week. The police knocked on my door (and everyone else) and i realised id not seen him for about 3 days. I normally meet him in my shared garden when he popped out to the end to get his paper. They said they were worried enough ordered everyone back into their flats and broke the door down. My neighbour had been admitted into hospital 3 days previous as a kind person had left a note on the table for the police to find. The police lady told me they prefer to find that rather than someone needing their help. Anyway they manned his front door until it was replaced 2 hours later. Neighbour who taken him in when she found him unwell knocked on everyones door and apologised that due to her shift work she hadnt told us. Sadly my neighbour (used to pop over and chat to him as he had a lifetime of stories) n ever returned home.

londonrach · 05/09/2015 18:54

Sorry (and sorry i only read your original post). You did the right thing x

BubblyChocolate · 05/09/2015 18:56

So sorry Flowers

Sounds like he was lucky to have a friend like you.

roundtable · 05/09/2015 19:03

So sad. Sorry op Flowers

Well done for being proactive.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/09/2015 19:22

oh lovely, so sorry for your loss. Flowers look after yourself.

Wine to Dave, reunited with Helen, and all who knew them and miss them both.

Do you think he would have taken delight in all the mners worrying about him, making his presence felt even after he had gone?

SilverNightFairy · 05/09/2015 20:03

Hugs to you, Op. I hope Dave and his beloved are together again and at peace. You did a good thing..xx

goldglittershitter · 05/09/2015 20:55

So sorry, OP. Please take some comfort in time that u were a good friend Flowers .

ohtheholidays · 05/09/2015 21:03

Very sorry for your loss OP.RIP Dave,he sounds like he was a brilliant character Smile x

With the funeral OP,you said Dave had been in the Navy?I'd get intouch with someone from there.

My Dad was in the Army many many years ago.My father and my Mother both needed help with getting around outside of the house so someone got intouch with the British legion for my Dad,because my Dad had served in the forces they bought my Father and my Mother both mobility scooters,they were both brand new and cost a fortune.My Dad didn't have to pay anything towards them.

A lot of people aren't aware but there is usually quite a lot of support and help out there financial,emotional and practical for the older ex forces out there.

LadyShirazz · 05/09/2015 21:32

If not for you and the thought you had for him, he would have been left there longer - I really hope you can take some comfort from that fact...

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 05/09/2015 21:49

Sorry for your loss OP, and well done for raising the alarm. Everyone needs friends like you.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 05/09/2015 21:50

Without a doubt the most unmumsnetty thing I've ever posted but absolutely true

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 21:53

LadyShirazz - himself has been trying to point that out. ANd it's true but doesn't make it better.

I know that calling earlier wouldn't have made a sniff of difference, but can't help wondering

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 05/09/2015 22:01

I'm sorry murasaki Sad RIP Dave

Original poster
murasaki · 05/09/2015 22:09

Am going in to meet up with Ahmed on Monday (the landlord) he's been great today. we cried at each other on the phone.

I think I've emailed the people who need to know who aren't 'every week day people', that we can deal with next week. I am so sad. He was an utter arse, but I loved him like another dad, if that makes sense. He was my London dad.

OP posts: