I'd tell someone to stop. I wouldn't threaten them with physical violence, no Maddy. It would never enter my head that would be an option.
That fully applies to the op. Sadly.
What I'm disagreeing with is how somehow along the thread people started making excuses for the op on the basis of how the husband didn't act out initially. Unless he was causing the children to misbehave, he op's atitude towards the child is fully her own responsibility. It was a decision after a threat, it wasn't a complete spur of the moment, even.
I don't know what I'd threat with if someone dragged my child. Probably divorce if a partner did that again.
It looks, though, as you have problems with your husband. If I got the context right, as it was emerging, it needs addressing. But that is a separate issue from how you deal with the children. And it should never be used as an excuse.
I'd be telling you to consider ltb if he had dragged you like that.
On the other hand, it's possible I might also tell you to consider ltb after what you hinted about him and considering his threat (although, given your initial behaviour I don't think it was that unteasonable).
So, again, I'd mainly focus very hard on my behaviour in relation to the children. And make sure this was the only time anything like this happened. No excuses.
Btw, I usually find that being playful helps with defiant behaviour. Making it a race to the bedroom, for example, or promising something exciting.
We must really count to ten and take stock when we need to threaten with physical force.