FuryFowler Why are you getting cross with Lweji? She is saying what you need to hear. You asked if YWBU, and she said yes, you are. That doesn't mean she thinks you are a bad parent, that doesn't mean she thinks what your dh did was OK (but in the scheme of things, he was defending his children, as any parent would, and I think we all know, roles reversed, the mother would be congratulated for doing exactly what your dh did)
If you post about your personal issues, expect to get pulled up on them. You will hear what you want to hear, and what you need to hear. I too was shocked that nearly all the posts so far have centred around your dh's treatment of you, rather than what you did to your son. It doesn't do you any favours to be told that in all this, your dh was the one in wrong. Because you physically dragged a defenceless child.
And just because a PPs doctor said that her child appeared happy, so what she did was "just parenting" that doesn't matter. If I heard this from a parent, I would be bound by the contract of my job to report it. Because just because the parent says it was a one off, I wouldn't know that!
Calling those who disagree with you "perfect parents" is rather childish, don't you think? Hitting out at those whom opinion you asked is not on. We are not perfect, we are not pretending to be, it's rather rude to call us out like that just because we disagree with you. No, I have never dragged my child, no I am not perfect.
You hitting out now just looks like defensiveness. And it's misplaced. When you admit, on a public forum that you dragged a child, you will be hit with different opinions. There is no need to get sarcastic & rude. Just accept that people do not think what you did was OK & they will tell you.
there's a world of difference between a parent who loses it once after a long day dealing with a naughty child and a parent who constantly takes out their anger on their child. Yes, of course there is, same as there is a world of difference between a man who loses it after seeing his child manhandled, and one who constantly takes out his anger on his wife.
I stop, regroup and find another strategy - like you did She didn't stop. Her dh stopped her.
Why does her dh's threat of violence over take op ACTUAL act of violence? Yes, I do see a child of 6 being dragged off furniture & across the floor, in this instance, violent.
grapejuicerocks See, not one person on here has said they are a perfect parent who doesn't make mistakes. There have been plenty of posters who do not agree with those of us who think op did wrong calling us perfect. There is the difference! The perfect parent stance hasn't come form those who disagree with op!
I'm amazed at all the stunningly perfect parents here who have never made a parenting mistake, never a cross word, transcendental connection between parents and children and zen calm! Sorry..where did ANYONE say that? Stop using the perfect parent line to 1] put down people who don't agree with you & 2] justify what the op did as OK. It's a weak & useless argument!
the 3day nanny grabbed a child the other week by his shoulders and forcibly moved him to stand next to a wall. This imo was worse than what I did last night This highlights the whole problem. You grabbed your child to forcibly move him to bed, that is on a par with what you saw in that programme. You don't see it though, regardless of what you say here, you are minimising what you did, comparing it to a very close compassion & deciding that you come of better. You don't op.
I get it, you were at the end of your tether, you lost it in a moment of madness. We have all done something we regret. The thing here is, that you have gone from admitting that you were wrong, to saying it wasn't' that bad now. You are backtracking. I have yelled, yes. Smacked a bum, yes. Dragged, no. There are differences to yelling & dragging.