Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of being challenged for parking in a disabled space?

268 replies

hedgehogsdontbite · 01/09/2015 06:26

People think they're doing the righteous thing when they appoint themselves to the parking police but do they ever think about the impact they're having on the other person?

I was challenged yet again yesterday. The woman watched me park then stood in the space behind my car staring at me the whole time while I got out. Then snaps 'these spaces are for disabled people' as I walk past her.

Thing is, I have a blue badge which was out on my dashboard which shewouls have seen if she wasn't behind my car. But why do I even need to justify myself to some random in a supermarket carpark? I feel so intimidated by this kind of thing that I couldn't cope being in the shop so left. So now I need to go today instead, if I can get past the anxiety it's created.

AIBU to think 'just leave me the fuck alone'?

OP posts:
cathpip · 01/09/2015 16:46

My friend likes to play blue badge top trumps, she always gets questioned so takes great delight in producing hers and then asking the person if they would like to see her sons all whilst sorting out her sticks and her sons adapted pushchair.....

blaeberry · 01/09/2015 17:16

There seem to be quite a few responses along the lines of "blue badges are hard to get and that is all you need to know". I don't agree with this; I don't think it is unreasonable for people to question who gets blue badges (in general) and what sort of disabilities are needed to qualify for one. If everyone had a better understanding then there would be less questioning of individuals.

shrunkenhead · 01/09/2015 17:27

I agree blaeberry, if more people knew/understood they'd stop asking seemingly dim questions.

AlwaysOutnumberdNeverOutgunned · 01/09/2015 17:54

here you go now leave people in car parks alone.

insancerre · 01/09/2015 17:55

Gosh
Been at work. I do seem to have caused some of you some offence while a few posters seem to have understood my motives
I didn't ask the op to post about her disabilities. She volunteered that information and she did start the thread in the first place.
She must have expected people to question, it is AIBU after all
I know nothing about blue badges except what I've seen in the media about how they are being stolen and then misused
I now know more than I did this morning

AlwaysOutnumberdNeverOutgunned · 01/09/2015 17:59

Gosh really, you think? Hmm

x2boys · 01/09/2015 17:59

but the point is blaeberry that often people with severe disabillities are not able to get bluebadges so if someone has been issued with one they need it and shouldnt be questioned.

ArendelleQueen · 01/09/2015 18:02

If you want to know about blue badges, read the criteria for your local authority or ask in general. Asking me why I got my blue badge is incredibly rude and personal. I've lost an awful lot of dignity, self-respect and confidence in becoming disabled. A car park is really not the place for an educational seminar on visible and invisible disabilities. Shock I just want to get my bits and go, like every other person. I don't want to be singled out as different.

Marynary · 01/09/2015 18:15

It's outrageous that there are busy bodies out there who despite not knowing anything about disabilities think that they have the right to question someone on whether they need a blue badge. Who do they think they are?

I have muscle weakness in my legs and although I don't have a blue badge (yet). I can't walk that far. I look fine (I hope) for the first half mile but then I rapidly start to slow down until I run out of steps. It makes me furious to think that if/when I do have a badge strangers will think that they have the right to question me about it. Although I am quite assertive and would make them think twice about questioning anyone again I'm sure it would still make me feel annoyed for the rest of the day.

x2boys · 01/09/2015 18:26

several of my friends have children who need wheelchairs for part of the time they quite rightly receive hrm and blue badges because even though their children can walk they have disabillities that can make walking tiring and painful for them it makes me mad that people think they can question their need for a bluebadge just because for the short distance they may see them walk they look ok?

Cockbollocks · 01/09/2015 18:28

A friend of mine had a man come up to her and threaten her for parking in a disabled space. She had a blue badge because her baby son was reliant on oxygen and they needed to be able to return to the car quickly if needed.

It was awful for her and she just cried, he was completely disgusting and even when she pointed out her blue badge he wanted to know what it was for.

Same thing happened to a friend who's little boy had cancer - he looked absolutely fine but obviously wasn't. She had many a person come up and have a go at her - even in Legoland when they took him for a day out and blue badge holders don't have to queue. People eyed her up and dished out filthy looks and mutterings, awful.

x2boys · 01/09/2015 18:32

its disgusting Cockbollocks people have no right they should contact the relevant authorities if they beleive a bluebadge is being misused not change someone and make them feel terrible!

x2boys · 01/09/2015 18:33

challenge *

TalkinPeace · 01/09/2015 18:37

I bet they would have kittens at the driver I saw
who parked in a disabled bay,
jumped out,
ran into the shop fit as a fiddle
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and then came back pushing the person in the chair whose badge it was Grin

blaeberry · 01/09/2015 18:50

The public perception is that you need to be obviously and visibly disabled to have a blue badge and therefore anyone not fitting this brief must be misusing a badge. My point is if there is more education about what entitles people in general to a badge and the sort of difficulties they have to endure then people with a blue badge are less likely to be challenged in the car park. But feel free to miss my point....

zzzzz · 01/09/2015 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysOutnumberdNeverOutgunned · 01/09/2015 19:04

blaeberry don't be belligerent just go onto that link I gave, find out your local criteria and get educating. The info is there for all to see. The level of abuse targeted at people who happen to have disability or illness in the UK is on the increase thanks to propaganda & ignorance over matters like this and acceptance or justification of that type of behaviour must be challenged for the greater good.

Marynary · 01/09/2015 19:33

My point is if there is more education about what entitles people in general to a badge and the sort of difficulties they have to endure then people with a blue badge are less likely to be challenged in the car park. But feel free to miss my point....

wtf? Who is supposed to be providing the education?? There is plenty of information out there. If people can't be bothered to read and learn about it the least they can do is mind their own bloody business.

MissDuke · 01/09/2015 19:38

I disagree MissDuke, if someone is openly abusing a system and that is known for a fact then it can be reported to the council to be dealt with by them. This is quite different to accosting a stranger you know nothing about

I don't understand what you are 'disagreeing' with - I never said that strangers should be 'accosted'? Of course they shouldn't! I was simply pointing out that the reason why people get suspicious is because unfortunately many people abuse the system.

fakenamefornow · 01/09/2015 19:51

Only read a few pages but wanted to ask, those challenging blue badge holders are they largely other disabled people who might see themselves as defending their spaces?

I can't imagine able bodied people would notice/care.

As an aside my aunty has a bb, she doesn't drive and so the badge lives in my cousins car (her daughter) and she uses it all the time and rarely has my aunty with her.

hazeyjane · 01/09/2015 19:57

Fake, I don't know about others, but the man who killed Brian Holmes (the article I linked to earlier) is disabled and yes, felt that he was defending his space.

PurpleDaisies · 01/09/2015 19:59

Oh how wrong you are fake. Car parks seem to be full of self righteous idiots who are spoiling for a fight over basically anything.

I once parked in the first non-p and c space next to a bank of them and I had a random woman without any children with her start shouting and swearing at me for parking in a p and c space when I didn't have kids. She would not listen to reason or look at this space to see that it was just a normal one.

PurpleDaisies · 01/09/2015 20:01

I admit my opinion is just that based on my experiences in car parks and the many parking threads I've read. I am happy to be corrected.

zzzzz · 01/09/2015 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysOutnumberdNeverOutgunned · 01/09/2015 20:12

MissDuke you said I think the problem is that so many people do abuse the system and cited one example but how do you know how many? It comes across as justification for accosting strangers in car parks when there is none. Not sure if that is how you meant it but that is how it reads.

The problem is that people should respect the badge and mind their own business or take it up with the authorities, not that there are cheats.

FWIW I think you should report your former colleague and be done with - one person you know out of how many?

I don't know how many of the people who have challenged me have a blue badge, they all seemed able bodied and didn't want the space but I didn't ask because it is none of my business!!!

Which is the point of the thread btw, what underwear is everyone wearing???

Swipe left for the next trending thread