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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have blocked her off FB?

122 replies

Voovinnie · 31/08/2015 20:29

Sorry, I know lots of people cringe at the word Facebook but you don't have to know anything about it to comment, really.

Last Friday I had a miscarriage at 10+ weeks. To cut a long story short, I deleted one of my 'friends' from Facebook because she was always posting about 'need a fucking fag' and people would comment about how their midwives had told them quiting smoking would be more harm than good for their DC, or 'Me and baby girl enjoying a nice cuppa and ciggy' (She is 28 weeks pregnant).

I found her so hurtful and lots of irrational things went through my head, including "why was my baby taken from me, yet she's allowed to remain a Mother?"

Anyway, another friend of mine said I shouldn't have taken her off, and just unfollowed her so I wouldn't see her posts. Thing is though, I found her so shocking, I didn't want her there at all.

Fast forward to yesterday evening, and this is the text she sent me.
Should I have just unfollowed?

Thank you

OP posts:

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 31/08/2015 20:45

Wow... I wonder how she felt once she said that. After her anger subsided she must have felt beyond awful surely and begged for forgiveness??? You should send her a link to this thread if not!

Junosmum · 31/08/2015 20:47

YANBU horrid person.

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 31/08/2015 20:48

What an evil bitch!
Yanbu, good riddance!
Hope your feeling ok. Hugs

Gymbunny1204 · 31/08/2015 20:49

What a bitch.

Miscarriages are no ones fault. It is pure luck she still is pregnant. Don't let other people tell you what to do. I'd be dropping the person who did as well.

hollieberrie · 31/08/2015 20:50

Oh my god. Please dont ever ever speak to her again.

for you OP

Frillsandspillsx2 · 31/08/2015 20:51

YANBU at all.
She sounds like a nasty piece of work and you are well rid. If you don't want someone on on Facebook you have every right to delete them so ignore what your friends say about you deleting her. I'm sure if they seen those messages they wouldn't think you were so unreasonable for doing so.

scabbycat · 31/08/2015 20:52

for you. YANBU for unfriending. I'd also block her number on your mobile for her last comment, you really don't need her in your life.

paulapompom · 31/08/2015 20:53

I am very sorry for your loss

Re: that so-called friend, she is an absolute cunt, if you want to go on about smoking while pregnant, you have to know some people won't like it. You are free to unfriend who you want to, it's fb, not rl. Her vile text has shown her for the nasty bastard she is. Ignore her. Xx

Aeroflotgirl · 31/08/2015 20:54

Op so sorry for your loss . She sounds so classy, not. You are right, delete and block she is awful.

LumpySpaceCow · 31/08/2015 20:54

Sorry for your loss op.
She's a twunt and I would have done the same.
How did she actually find out you deleted her though? Unless she actively searched for you then she wouldn't know. Maybe your friend has been stirring a bit?

WillowKnicks · 31/08/2015 20:56

So sorry about your miscarriage.

What a truly hideous thing to say . Who on earth would say anything like that?! She sounds a totally obnoxious, toxic bitch!

I do wonder at your other friend's so called role in all of this, though. It sounds to me like she's stirred the pot a bit & gone & repeated what you said to her.

Hope you're ok

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 31/08/2015 20:57

She is an absolute cunt and sounds like 'a right sort ' as my gran says. What a vile, hurtful little bitch saying that about your mc. So sorry you had someone say that and sorry for your loss. you can delete her out your life now.

imwithspud · 31/08/2015 20:57

Sorry for your loss

YANBU for removing her off Facebook. You are entitled to be friends with who ever you like on there. In fact, YANBU for any of it, people who brag about smoking through pregnancy are opening themselves up for judgement. Her comments were truly vile and hurtful, please take no notice of them.

chandelierswinger · 31/08/2015 20:57

Fuck me! You're well rid of her, on FB and in RL. (Only on MN would the c bomb be used and be okay... Love that this is the case, not least because it's well deserved)

So sorry for your loss I also recently lost my baby at 10 weeks. Unfair is exactly the word. Undeserving too.

Justcurious15 · 31/08/2015 20:59

YANBU I cannot believe anyone would say such a thing! That's actually shocked me.

I am so sorry for your loss

Chucklecheeks · 31/08/2015 20:59

I'd put that text on Facebook and see how,funny she finds it!

fastdaytears · 31/08/2015 21:01

Jesus. I am just beyond shocked that anyone would say that in these circs.
I'm also shocked at posting pictures and statuses about people smoking during pregnancy. It's always going to kick off isn't it?
Anyway she's an attention seeking cunt and you do not need her in your life, even if it was just FB. If any other ties then sever them immediately.
Shame that it's not really on to put that screenshot up on FB...
Oh and very, very sorry for your loss. I hope you are getting lots of support and being well looked after.

fastdaytears · 31/08/2015 21:02

X-post with Chuckle

MyGastIsFlabbered · 31/08/2015 21:02

Vile, poor excuse of a woman. You are well rid. Sorry for your loss.

GloriaHotcakes · 31/08/2015 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doublebubblebubble · 31/08/2015 21:03

She sounds like the biggest cunt in the world - legitimately no loss for you. She also sounds about 12. Good for you for deleting her. She's got some gall asking for an apology too. Cut that tumour out of your life now. I'm sorry for what you've been through too. Miscarriages are awful and seeing people potentially fucking up (which is what they're doing) a baby for life by either drinking or smoking can be incredibly hard. I find it so hard to bite my tongue sometimes (I've had 2 miscarriages and a stillbirth of twins and i am currently 35 weeks and i get angry with strangers smoking in front of me let alone when they are pregnant, so I really feel your pain). Xx

3CheekyLittleMonkeys · 31/08/2015 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles · 31/08/2015 21:06

That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen...

Yeah she may still have her baby, but her mood may change when she realises she has fucked it up by smoking, stupid cunt.

chickenfuckingpox · 31/08/2015 21:07

i understand what you mean about the smoking its something you cant help judging you did everything right and things have gone wrong for you of course your going to say its not fair

i had my own not fair moment ive social services involved they are crawling up my arse trying to find something to hang me with they fact they found nothing really awful (im human thats my fault) makes them try even harder to find a problem anyway girl in town i know her (dont like her but i know her) screams and shouts at her kid smacks her child child in question is permanently dirty neglected looking (the usual shorts in winter no appropriate clothing no coat/shoes dirty as hell sunburnt to a crisp) mom permanently has a fag and a mouth like a sewer are they interested in her no they want my clean well taken care of kids i want to stamp my feet and yell i just end up walking away from them and taking care of my own

it is unfair and you should have deleted her off facebook and you should block her number on your phone if she tries again you really should ask the police to send a cso and have a word tell her to wind her neck in (notice i did not say send the actual police that would be an overreaction but the cso will be a firm reminder that this is unacceptable) im not a hysteric but she should stop harassing you

AlpacaPicnic · 31/08/2015 21:07

I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thus is a time when you need kind, gentle support. You do not need this 'friend'.
She can fuck off.

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