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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: What time do you put pyjamas on?

158 replies

N0vemberRain · 31/08/2015 09:03

My routine: have evening bath/shower around the same time as the kids, and put on pyjamas. Do bedtime stories in PJs, then downstairs for watching TV with DH, or chat, or video game, whatever. Evening stuff. Then up to bed.

DH believes this is entirely unreasonable and odd behaviour. "Everyone else" only puts on pyjamas at the very moment of going to bed. After evening bath/shower, one should put on proper clothes again and spend the evening properly dressed. He feels that wearing pyjamas in the evening is akin to going to the shops in them, or wearing them all day.

Of course, it's taken him 13 years to confess he does not like my evenings in PJs, and as a big fan of pretty pyjamas, I am both hurt by the confession and considering this a total LTB issue. He wants me to choose between him and my cosy checked pants? No contest.

What say you? Is spending the couple of hours pre-bed in your pyjamas a heinous crime, social faux pas or enormous turn off?

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 31/08/2015 17:03

Pj's go on when I am in for the day. After work that is 5.30pm, whilst I'm on ML is could be lunchtime.

To be fair most of my pj's are more lounge wear (leggings, long tops, jogging bottoms) and I'd happily receive guests or pop to my local shop in them.

I cannot abide being fully dressed when I am sat at home. It's a waste I'd clean, ironed clothes not that I iron much

Kids are always dressed and go in their pj's just before bed. On the occasional day in I may put kids in clean pj's but that is a rarity.

suzannefollowmyvan · 31/08/2015 17:03

Pj's are a variety of 'loungewear' by which I mean sloppy / casual / comfortable clothes which I wouldnt go outdoors in .
I wear 'PJ's' all the time at home, not in bed though (too hot)?

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 17:08

I do put the bin/recycling out, get the milk in, greet the postie, chat to neighbours etc. all in my pjs, either early morning or in the evening. I wouldn't go to the shop in them (probably, unless it was an emergency) but I don't care who sees me.

If I didn't have to do the school run (I work at home) I'd be tempted to wear them all day.

suzannefollowmyvan · 31/08/2015 17:08

I tried to find what he would consider suitable evening attire, and yeah, you guessed it - a dress

he wants you to dress up/dress smartly for him, as if he were an employer or something

its a status thing, he's the boss man and you're supposed to be on your best behaviour, not relaxing as if you were in a position to do whatever you want

is he from the 1950's?

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 17:14

OP see if you can get him to join you. Start leaving some luscious luxury men's loungewear catalogues around, featuring handsome blokes draping themselves over sofas in lovely pjs and waffle tops. Suggest you would consider it the height of "class" to posses such lovely items.

like this

Nonnainglese · 31/08/2015 17:15

He doesn't expect full makeup and hair done too does he?
My uncle expected this, plus heels too, from my aunt...... She always looked immaculate and just like a 1950's version of a 'proper wife'.

Nonnainglese · 31/08/2015 17:16

Smoking jacket and monogrammed velvet slippers?

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 17:16

or maybe this

y0rkier0se · 31/08/2015 17:18

Definitely not wearing pyjamas right now.. Grin

AliceScarlett · 31/08/2015 17:18

As soon as I get in from work I put my PJ's on!

ApollO88 · 31/08/2015 17:19

i would happily stay in them all day if i know im not going anywhere. but hubby doesnt really like it. on a day when im home all day with DS i wont get dressed till hes due home.....

suzannefollowmyvan · 31/08/2015 17:20

take it he wears best bib and tucker?

lavenderhoney · 31/08/2015 17:22

I wear day dresses a lot so slinging on a dress isn't a faff for me. Although is he expecting you fully made up, sexy underwear, heels and clutching a g &t to hand to him for his return from the office?:) wow, you've married a time traveller:)

I assume he is smartly dressed, newly shaved and minty fresh for you?

On the other hand he might just want to have a date night but at home. Ask him. Maybe he thinks you're too comfy with one another and he thinks the way to go is to tell you to wear a dress. He's skipped the bit where he needs to talk to you.

Hush does nice lounge wear:)

Pipbin · 31/08/2015 17:31

Have you ever heard the song Wives and Lovers. Great song - but dear God the lyrics:

Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you

Day after day there are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here

Hey, little girl, better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love

Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love, time to get ready
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready, time to get ready for love

This is what I think he thinks you should be doing.

waxweasel · 31/08/2015 17:32

Hahahahaaaaa! He sounds a real treat OP. I'm so glad I don't live with him or several of the equally uptight PPs I have just read while sniggering heartily

For a good couple of years DH left for work before me and always came home after me. So he'd leave before I'd got up, and then, as I'd be straight into pjs as soon as I got through the door, he'd come home to find me in pjs. He pointed out that he actually sometimes didnt see me in anything but pjs all week and that there was no evidence I ever got dressed Grin thankfully, I married a man who was just jealous I was living the dream.

I call mine 'essay pants' - what I called them in the halcyon days of living in my pjs as a student bashing out essays and dissertations and the like in my room.

waxweasel · 31/08/2015 17:34

I also work from home in my pjs. My proudest moment was being part of a conference call with a high ranking General at the MOD while still in pyjamas Grin AND HE HAD NO IDEA

Pipbin · 31/08/2015 17:36

I also work from home in my pjs. My proudest moment was being part of a conference call with a high ranking General at the MOD while still in pyjamas Grin AND HE HAD NO IDEA

I would have flopped a tit out just to make the point.

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 17:43

Hey, grown-up woman, better put on your pjs
Something you'd wear to slob out on Sundays
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, switch on Bake-Off
Time to get ready for giving 50s sexist twattery the shove.

suzannefollowmyvan · 31/08/2015 17:44

he might have thought you were initiating Web cam sex and produced his own private parts (shudder)

waxweasel · 31/08/2015 17:51

Ah, I should clarify that the conference call was purely audio, no webcams. I could have gone proper nekkid and all Smile

Hygellig · 31/08/2015 17:57

I put my pyjamas on just before I go to bed. The rare exception is when I have an evening shower but am not going to bed straight away. This is just my preference however and I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

hooliodancer · 31/08/2015 18:13

I agree with your husband! I don't wear pyjamas at all, and to me it would be odd to wear them all evening. I don't think it is wrong if others do it at all, but I wouldn't do it myself and if my partner had pyjamas on to sit and eat dinner with me I would feel it was disrespectful of him. It would feel like he was just killing time before bed and that being at home with me wasn't important to him, like being at home isn't part of real life.

I guess that this could be the way your partner sees it, rather than him being a 1950's that as people have suggested?

mumeeee · 31/08/2015 18:15

OP when I said I was with your DH that was just about wearing pyjamas in the evening.
I definatly wouldn't change into a dress for the evening unless we were going out somewhere. I tend to wear jeans ,leggings or joggers during the day and that is what I wear in the evening. You DH is being ridiculous wanting you to change into a dress.

DotForShort · 31/08/2015 19:29

I find this thread really interesting. I don't wear pyjamas as such, but I don't change into my nightwear until I'm actually ready for bed. However, I do change out of work clothes into more comfortable clothes when I arrive home. I suppose some people might think me odd for changing clothes after work and then again before bed. Who knows, maybe I am odd. Confused

Also interesting to see the number of people who take a bath or shower in the evening. I always take a shower in the morning. I sometimes have an additional shower before bed if I feel like it.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 31/08/2015 20:00

My pj's go on after I've had a bath, then I usually have a glass of wine on our balcony (off our bedroom) whilst DH has a shower then it's off to bed. I am only in my pj's in our bedroom.
I am fully dressed at all other times as our foreman (my ex DP) has breakfast with us and sometimes calls by the main house in the evenings if there's something important he needs to tell us, and whilst neither he nor DH would bat an eyelid, I wouldn't feel right being in my pj's in front of him.
Otherwise I might stay in my luxurious snuggly pj's all day Grin.

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