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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU: What time do you put pyjamas on?

158 replies

N0vemberRain · 31/08/2015 09:03

My routine: have evening bath/shower around the same time as the kids, and put on pyjamas. Do bedtime stories in PJs, then downstairs for watching TV with DH, or chat, or video game, whatever. Evening stuff. Then up to bed.

DH believes this is entirely unreasonable and odd behaviour. "Everyone else" only puts on pyjamas at the very moment of going to bed. After evening bath/shower, one should put on proper clothes again and spend the evening properly dressed. He feels that wearing pyjamas in the evening is akin to going to the shops in them, or wearing them all day.

Of course, it's taken him 13 years to confess he does not like my evenings in PJs, and as a big fan of pretty pyjamas, I am both hurt by the confession and considering this a total LTB issue. He wants me to choose between him and my cosy checked pants? No contest.

What say you? Is spending the couple of hours pre-bed in your pyjamas a heinous crime, social faux pas or enormous turn off?

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 31/08/2015 12:53

If we're all settling down to watch a film, the first thing we do is put on our PJs.

Jw35 · 31/08/2015 12:58

I've got an 8 month old baby, my day ends when she goes to bed at 7pm I'm exhausted!
Pyjamas are much more comfy to relax in than day clothes! I actually think it's a bit gross wearing your undies for that long anyway, I get up at 6am! Why would you put a fresh set of clothes on after an evening bath or shower? That's just madness!
I don't go out when the baby is in bed, this is my life so it doesn't matter

lavenderhoney · 31/08/2015 13:01

Rebrand them as " relaxing clothes" and get some specially for this purpose.

Change into "pj's" when getting into bed.

Worked for DC who didn't like the idea of having pj's on as it made bedtime closer:)

Viviennemary · 31/08/2015 13:03

My Dad had a thing about people not getting dressed when they got up and sitting around in the evening in a dressing gown was just simply not on. So if I have a bath at night I don't get dressed again but always feel I should. Old habits die hard.

DurhamDurham · 31/08/2015 13:05

We got up early and went for a walk, we then went to do some holiday clothes shopping and had some coffee and cake afterwards at a cafe. I've just got back home and feel completely justified in putting my pj's on straight away. I'm not going anywhere else today and plan on slobbing infront of the tv and maybe playing a few board games with my girls this afternoon and I like to be comfortable. I love my pj's and dressing gown.

I work full time and when I get in from work the first thing I do is go upstairs and have a shower then put my pj's on. The first person home has to start dinner and luckily it's usually my husband. If I'm unlucky enough to get in first I have to start dinner which mucks up my plans to get my pj's straight away.

Ragwort · 31/08/2015 13:07

I like to be comfortable but I would think it rather odd to be wearing pyjamas before 9pm ish - but my DS is a teenager and we are often out and about in the evenings, and people tend to call round quite a lot so I would feel a bit awkward in pyjamas.

But each to their own and all that .

Although, totally irrational, it really irritates me when DH remains in his pjs and dressing gown most of the morning - he works from home so there is no need to 'get dressed' but I just hate seeing him lounge around whilst making professional business calls .

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 13:09

I'm like you OP, if I'm not going out I tend to change into pjs at the DC's bedtime. Not always, but usually. I wear them for watching telly on the sofa with snuggly duvet if it's a bit cold, or MNing, or sewing in the evenings. I also really love my nice PJs and get a lot of pleasure out of choosing (or sometimes making) new ones. (Same for chunky socks and slipper socks that I wear with them)

I think this has become more of a thing in recent years. There's much more of an industry of "loungewear" and pjs that are made to enjoy wearing. Your DH is just behind the times and missing out.

What does he want you to wear, a special evening gown (for when you change out of your washerwoman's housecoat maybe)?

He's being disrespectful about your choice.

ToriaPumpkin · 31/08/2015 13:13

DH changes out of his work clothes into loose trousers and a t shirt when he gets home as wearing a button up shirt all evening is neither comfortable, nor practical with two small children. I tend to put my PJs on between the kids going down at 7 and 9, usually after a bath or shower. I see no point in getting dressed again, and it takes a while for my hair to dry so I can't have a bath directly before bed. Obviously if we're expecting someone or going out I'll get/stay dressed but if people come round unannounced then they shouldn't really be surprised that I might be visitor-ready! MIL has commented on it before but DH has gone as far as to tell me not to bother getting dressed if he's invited someone round that he knows isn't particularly judgemental.

Olddear · 31/08/2015 13:15

Comfort all the way here! PJ's after evening bath around 7ish. My DH changes into trackies/lounge trousers and t-shirt as soon as he comes home. Sometimes when I've had a day round the shops, I can hear PJ's calling me....and I can't wait!

PurpleHairAndPearls · 31/08/2015 13:15

I think what he has said is very hurtful actually. It's a lot more disrespectful to call someone you love "low class" than it is to wear a particular item of clothing. Mean behaviour.

I only wear "outdoor clothes" to leave the house. I have a collection of "daytime nightwear" (oxymoron I know!) as opposed to actual nightwear and actually change into it when I get up. I also put my hair up and jewellery on to signify daytime rather than night. As I'm another one in chronic pain, this is for comfort but I don't like looking what I call in my head slobbish so it does involve lots of robes with lace trimmings, flounces, sleeves fringed with marabou etc. it often surprises Amazon delivery drivers etc

I think everyone should be comfortable in their own homes above all else, whether that's naked, fully dressed, PJs, whatever! I also think it's important not to be rude and hurtful to your partner for their choice of comfortable.

Pipbin · 31/08/2015 13:22

I have special PJs just for wearing around the house.
They are from FatFace, White Stuff and M&S so not exactly low class as said by other posters.
I never sleep in them though - I put them on when I get in from work then get changed to go to bed.

Mulligrubs · 31/08/2015 13:28

My PJs are more "loungewear" I suppose, in the house I tend to wear leggings and a baggy top, or tracksuit bottoms and a vest top. I sleep in them and lounge around/clean in them. I don't actually have PJs really.

If I am not going anywhere I'll shower and get into clean loungewear for the day. If I've been out (most days I usually do) then as soon as I am home I put my comfies on. DH strips to his boxers and toddler DS just wears a wee bodysuit.

That's how I am comfy at home, I don't like keeping my "proper" clothes on in the house, but I understand some people do. I don't think it is slovenly to stay in your PJs in your own home if that's how you're comfy.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 31/08/2015 13:53

In my house we call them 'apartment pants' (nod to Phoebe! ). Once I know I'm 'in' for the night, the apartment pants go on!

SergeantJarhead · 31/08/2015 13:54

I should probably have pointed out that I can't dress myself, DH has to be home to help me shower, dress etc, he works early on some mornings and would have to wake at approx 4am to help me dress so we don't.

Although why the fuck I'm justifying myself I don't know.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 31/08/2015 16:08

I don't wear PJ's but after my shower I will put on a comfy pair of trousers, like baggy harems or similar and a comfy top or jumper to lounge in. respectable enough to go out in if needed or to answer the door but comfy enough to lounge in too. DH changes from his work suit to trackies and teeshirt or shorts if it's warm. I do however have a fluffy onsie that comes out when I very cold, sometimes my fluffy dressing gown replaces the lounging gear if I feel lazy or a bit cold.

Theycallmemellowjello · 31/08/2015 16:17

Sorry, I have to agree with your DH, OP! I would not like it if my DH wore pajamas other than for bed, and I wouldn't do so either. It's disrespectful - like your partners company doesn't matter. I do admit to being horrified by the idea of people eating dinner in their pajamas. When I worked in an American university, lots of the students would wear 'yoga pants' or sweatsuits all the time - I hated that as well. I do think that quality time with family and partners and whoever is improved by making an effort.

NobodyLivesHere · 31/08/2015 16:20

well, its now 4pm and i'm in my PJs. got up this morning, had a shower, then put clean PJs on because im not going out anywhere and its my house so i can. dont really care what anyone else things. but i'm single (some may say because i'm wearing PJs at 4 in the afternoon lol)

beardsrock · 31/08/2015 16:22

Personally I don't wear PJ's as such (naked for bed).

But, I do put 'comfy pants' on as soon as I get home (or shorts, depending on the weather) which are fairly scruffy, and oddly, very comfortable. DH does the same.

Your DH is BU - you're at home, do whatever the fuck you like.

As far as I'm concerned I spend the entire day dressed up nicely, skirt, heels etc, when at home I want to be totally chilled and relaxed.

CrapBag · 31/08/2015 16:22

I get changed with the DCs, so about 6.45pm. I'd never get dressed if I didn't have to!

bloodyteenagers · 31/08/2015 16:36

I come in, shower and put lounge wear on.
I am not putting dirty clothes that I have worn during the day back on. Why would anyone do that?

He would really hate me. I woke
Up today. I eventually showered and I am dossing in comfy clothing again.

If anyone is offended by what I wear in my home, they can fuck off and leave.

justwondering72 · 31/08/2015 16:41

In my family, we always 'got comfy' as soon as dinner was done. So very normal for everyone to be in pjs by 7pm.

In DHs family, pjs are strictly for bed, not for lounging in. My PIL get up, dressed, then have breakfast. In the evening, they stay dressed until they go to bed. In 15 years of being married to DH and having them to stay for up to a fortnight at a time, I think I've seen my MIL in her pjs twice - and that was en route to the bathroom for a shower. She would never eat in or sit around in her nightwear.

DH has come right over to the dark side, sometimes he gets his jammies on at 5pm!

ArendelleQueen · 31/08/2015 16:46

You need lounge wear. These are the sort of clothes that you wouldn't wear to Tesco but not to bed either. This makes me feel less slobby but very comfy.

goblinhat · 31/08/2015 16:52

Another one here for lounge wear.

Wearing PJs too early is restrictive. I wouldn't want neighbours to see me taking rubbish out in my jammies, I would feel awkward answering the door in my nightwear.

CPtart · 31/08/2015 16:56

I have maintained the habit of changing into PJ's around 7pm although DC are getting older now and sort themselves at bedtime. Trying to slob around in jeans of an evening just doesn't cut it. Bath, pj's and a glass of wine...heaven!

Original poster

N0vemberRain · 31/08/2015 16:58

Very enlightening! Thanks all. It does seem there's fairly average, ordinary - or what I would have thought of as ordinary - pyjama behaviour, ie: evening/night relaxing wear when the day's duties are done - and the firm belief pyjamas are for the bed only.

I conclude the only solution is a number of White Company lounging outfits :)

Or not changing at all, because yeah, I am what I am and all that, and what I am is happy reading the bedtime stories in my own pyjamas.

He likes yoga pants, sweat pants and leggings even less (I don't know why I asked) as I tried to find what he would consider suitable evening attire, and yeah, you guessed it - a dress.

OP posts:

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