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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: What time do you put pyjamas on?

158 replies

N0vemberRain · 31/08/2015 09:03

My routine: have evening bath/shower around the same time as the kids, and put on pyjamas. Do bedtime stories in PJs, then downstairs for watching TV with DH, or chat, or video game, whatever. Evening stuff. Then up to bed.

DH believes this is entirely unreasonable and odd behaviour. "Everyone else" only puts on pyjamas at the very moment of going to bed. After evening bath/shower, one should put on proper clothes again and spend the evening properly dressed. He feels that wearing pyjamas in the evening is akin to going to the shops in them, or wearing them all day.

Of course, it's taken him 13 years to confess he does not like my evenings in PJs, and as a big fan of pretty pyjamas, I am both hurt by the confession and considering this a total LTB issue. He wants me to choose between him and my cosy checked pants? No contest.

What say you? Is spending the couple of hours pre-bed in your pyjamas a heinous crime, social faux pas or enormous turn off?

OP posts:
WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 31/08/2015 10:16

I put mine on about 8pm after DD has gone to bed. I then take them off at bedtime as I can't sleep in anything other than knickers and a vest top! They're purely for lounging here, not actual sleeping.

pointythings · 31/08/2015 10:18

Shock at 'low class and disrespectful' from him - I'd have given him an earful! Tell him he is being disrespectful to you by speaking to you like that. He's a twat. Set him straight sharpish.

CheeseToastie123 · 31/08/2015 10:21

How nasty of him. What a tool. Tonight I'd go downstairs in the poshest thing I own, heels, the lot and be completely over the top. It might make him realise what a dick he's being. However, I can be very childish.

BrandNewAndImproved · 31/08/2015 10:25

I'm the same op, kids have a bath, brush their teeth and go to be with a book, I have a bath then turn their lights off and either lounge around on my bed or sofa till I go to bed. Surely your evening should be relaxing.

cardibach · 31/08/2015 10:28

Orange how is wearing comfortable clothes in your own home 'rough'? What if they are yoga pants and loose cashmere jumpers mine aren't ?
I get in from work around 7/7.30 and want work clothes off. Seems pointless to put it her clothes on for such a short evening, so go straight to pjs. On days off I tend to stay in them until I need to go out, but stay dressed until bed time.

FrancesOldhamKelseyRIP · 31/08/2015 10:33

There is a point of view (quite a 1950s tinged one I grant you) that it shows lack of "respect" (or consideration or whatever) for your spouse when you ostentatiously put on your best and most flattering clothes to look your best for other people but wear paint splattered t-shirts and trackies with holes in when it's "only" your life partner to see you. It does cross my mind when I find myself cleaning my teeth and reapplying mascara before going out to the PTA meeting for example, and it prompts me to wear less scruffy clothes at home in the evening (not a PJ wearer) because actually DH is a person too, so why do I want to look nice to see a random committee member but not him.

However to suddenly get worked up and aggressive about it like the OP's DH is very disturbing.

Shodan · 31/08/2015 10:44

I must admit, I've had a touch of what FrancesOldhamKelseyRIP says myself, in the past, in that I've said to DH that he shaves, showers, and puts on a nice suit for work but I only ever see him in his pants-but I wouldn't expect it every evening, just occasionally (and I really meant "Let's go out a bit more).

But we are a very relaxed household- I change into 'my comfies' when I'm sure I'm not going out again (tracksuit trousers instead of jeans/skirt), then pjs after my bath (straight after ds2 has had his bath). DH takes his trousers off when he gets home and sits in pants and t-shirt (although this has caused much comment among my friends, nearly all of whom have seen him in his pants at least once Blush).

Your DH would hate my household, especially as we do all other kinds of weird things, like having baths when we fancy them (could be 2pm if we're having an 'at home' day), napping...But it suits us, because we're all on the same page.

It's rather troubling that your DH has suddenly decided he's not happy with the status quo. Is there anything behind this change, do you think?

PermetsTu · 31/08/2015 10:44

I find your DH's comments utterly disrespectful. How dare he be so rude? It's just fabric. Unless it has a repeating "DH is a giant cock" print on it, he has no right to comment on what you wear and when you wear it. He doesn't have to like it but calling you names is terrible.

I actually see it the other way to your DH and the strange 50s attitude of 'it lacks respect to not want to look your best for your partner'. I find it entirely comforting that my DH gets home from work, strips off his suit and puts on PJs (well more tartan lounge trouser things and a t-shirt). It shows he's shed his outside face and put on his comfy, I'm home, I'm with the people I love face. He doesn't have to feel uncomfortable to show me respect. He only has to feel right in his own skin.

I bath with the DC at 7.30pm and put on PJs. MIL will pop round sometimes and always, always says "what a shame". She thinks I'm giving in somehow. However, just recently I've suggested she try it and FIL reckons she's started putting on PJs when she gets in from work and she secretly, loves it. I feel like I've set her free. Grin

SergeantJarhead · 31/08/2015 10:47

Disabled here, only leave the house once/twice a week max. Two clean pairs of pyjamas per day, sometimes three and a bloody good shower. I'm not wearing jeans and blouses at home, in too much pain already. LTB.

SergeantJarhead · 31/08/2015 10:48

Permets Congratulations on your good solid work there ;) she probably takes her pj's to work in her handbag to save time.

JanetBlyton · 31/08/2015 10:49

This is yet another reason why it's nice not to live with a man... I recommend it.

Coolforthesummer · 31/08/2015 10:55

I feel lazy if I am in my pyjamas. I only ever do that on Boxing Day when I have a new pair and everyone is lolling around the house.
I tend to bath in the morning anyway.

When I lived in a shared house one of the girls used to change into jogging bottoms as soon as she got in. I would be in my formal work clothes till bedtime including heels. I thought she was weird and she thought I was.

SilverNightFairy · 31/08/2015 11:00

I would laugh in my dh's face if he ever said anything like that to me! I dress exactly as I wish, whenever I wish. As soon as I get home from work, I change into my yoga pants and vest. If I'm off to gym, I shower when I get home and immediately put pj's on.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 31/08/2015 11:03

YAB entirely reasonable. Nice PJs are wasted on bed. I bought a pair of super-comfy bottoms recently and have driven to my DM's (10 miles away) a couple of times in them.

Savagebeauty · 31/08/2015 11:05

I couldn't wear pjs during the day..would feel slovenly.
I have yoga pants and tops for evening. Comfy but not scruffy.

IAmAPaleontologist · 31/08/2015 11:10

My pjs go on pretty much as soon as I'm in the house. I'm currently in pj bottoms and an old hoody. The only evidence that I have actually showered and dressed is that I'm wearing a bra and a top.

FithColumnist · 31/08/2015 12:36

We don't do pyjamas in this house. But when I was a kid my DF used to get changed into his pyjamas pretty much after dinner, so around 7ish, and stay like that watching TV until he went to bed. I used to find it utterly mortifying when I had friends over. I'm on your DH's side here.

chipsandpeas · 31/08/2015 12:40

i dont sleep in jammies but change into them or trackies when i come home from work and arent going out again

SideOrderofChips · 31/08/2015 12:45

Im in my pjs now.

Pointlessfan · 31/08/2015 12:46

I'm with you - they go on after my shower, about 7.30. DH puts his on when he gets in from work but his are "lounge wear" not pjs apparently!

trinity0097 · 31/08/2015 12:48

If I don't feel comfy sobbing in work clothes in the evening then when I get home, otherwise when I go to bed. I never shower/bathe in the evening. Sometimes at the weekends I wear them all day, or keep them on after an afternoon snooze!

PinguForPresident · 31/08/2015 12:48

I put mine on as I'm going to bed.

I hate the idea of not being dressed in the house. It seems really slovenly to wear PJs during the day/evening.

I wear normal clothes in the house. I don't get the "I want to be comfortable" argument: my normal clothes are comfortable! I wouldn't wear them if they weren't. Uncomfrtable clothes surely indicate wearing a size too small or something.

noiwontstoptalking · 31/08/2015 12:50

Well your DH shouldn't have been rude obviously but in general terms I'm with him.

I only out in pjs immediately before bed. I have a morning shower but if I have an evening bath I'd time it so that I can put my pjs on and pop into bed straight afterwards.

I do find the pjs on at 5pm thing a little odd - I assume adherents don't do anything in the evenings?

People knock on my door or an evening fairly regularly - they and I would feel uncomfortable if I was in my pjs. can just see the Elder's face now Grin

TheRealAmyLee · 31/08/2015 12:52

Just before bed then off first thing before shower. Only exception is if I'm ill. I feel skanky in pjs I've slept in. I have to do pjs, sleep then shower or I feel gross and sluggish.

If I have a day I want to slob I wear trackie pants and a baggy t-shirt.

I wouldnt judge you though unless you go to Tesco or do your school run in them...

velourvoyageur · 31/08/2015 12:53

When I'm not going out again and I've had my shower I just pop a t shirt and pants on, and on my own it's just pants. In winter leggings and a long sleeved top and big socks. Haven't worn pyjamas since I was about 12, maybe I'm missing out :)