Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think we should make a bigger deal at Christmas?

302 replies

honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:21

The threads already have me wondering.

DH often has to work so I think that's partly why it's just never been a thing. Don't decorate bar putting some cards up. DC1 gets one present. (Other DC was a baby last Christmas so didn't bother; might get her something this year.)

That's it.

I like Christmas but on the whole prefer Easter.

But other families seem to make such a fuss and I suppose I wondered if it was really very strange to have a low key day?

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 09:27

Do you put a tree up, have I read your OP correctly?

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:29

No, just cards and drape a bit of tinsel around them.

OP posts:
Lilybensmum1 · 27/08/2015 09:31

Hi honey I think the thing with Christmas is that it's personal to each family so if you are happy with how you currently change why worry. I personally do lots of things in Christmas and must have a tree and decorations but would not push it on others.

Are you asking because you want to do more or would you like to adopt traditions from others if so the Christmas board is active.

So no I don't think it's strange but I also don't think it's strange for others to make a fuss as you say, each to their own.

Do your DC enjoy Christmas as you currently have it?

RatOnnaStick · 27/08/2015 09:32

Nothing wrong with that, you will probably find your enthusiasm grows a bit as your children grow up. We are similar but this year ds1 will be 5 and is totally aware of what Christmas is about for his family and friends.

MaltaVestrit · 27/08/2015 09:32

I would find it very strange to not decorate a bit, have a tree, stocking and a couple of presents at least. unless there is an underlying reason you don't like Christmas or want to celebrate it?

also I think your DC will probably feel quite disappointed as they grow up and realise all their friends are excited and planning for fun festive stuff and they don't do anything at all.

but I love Christmas and probably go to far the other way - we decorate on December 1st, always mince pies and yule log through December, we have a traditional watching of muppet Christmas carol, stockings, presents, turkey and trimmings - the works basically!

GogoGobo · 27/08/2015 09:32

I think that's pretty horrible for your kids to be honest. Yes, make a bigger deal and lay down some lovely family associations and memories for them. Clearly doesn't have to be a commercial extravaganza but there are many ways to make it a special time for them

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 09:32

I always think the tree is magical for children and adults, when it's dark and the lights are glowing and twinkly it gives off a feeling of warmth and excitement even if things are a bit shit otherwise.

I think your children would enjoy the tree and decorating it.

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:33

Has never complained! Apart from the present, it's very much an ordinary day especially as the present tends to be in the form of something active he can use later in the year, so it's not an 'unwrap the gift' thing.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 09:33

How old is your elder dc?

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:34

Dc1 is eight - will be nearly nine this Christmas.

The lights are nice but we have fairy lights all over the house in any case and in the garden. It's gorgeous in summer as we aren't overlooked at all and at twilight you can see a purply sky and bats flying, we spent ages looking out last night and talking. So I don't feel he or his sisters will miss out on a magical childhood. Might put a tree up though. Sorry, loads of cross posts.

OP posts:
WiIdfire · 27/08/2015 09:35

I think some people (on here) make far far too much of a deal over Christmas. However, I think it might be nice to get a tree and start collecting decorations for it. The children could pick a couple each year?

My husbands family do one big present each. My family do many very small presents. (Try sorting the etiquette of mixing the two families...!!) anyway, perhaps one proper present then some small things for the fun of opening them (stocking?). Finally a special meal (that does not have to include turkey or sprouts if you dont want to, though I reckon sprouts are the best bit) and you're done.

There should be a good movie to watch and family or friends to visit. Thats my idea of christmas.

StanSmithsChin · 27/08/2015 09:37

Did you have a similar Christmas as a child?

As pp have said Christmas is down to the individual family.
I do the tree, a few presents and a special meal simply because that is what my childhood Christmases were like and I enjoy it as do my DC.

TimeToMuskUp · 27/08/2015 09:38

You can only do what is right for you. I make a fuss at Christmas and we have lots of family traditions (new pyjamas christmas eve, sprinkling reindeer food on the lawn, stockings for everyone, tree up on December 1st with DCs decorating it). It doesn't mean that's right for everyone, I just enjoy it.

Did you celebrate it as a child in a similar way; was a bigger fuss made of other festivals?

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:39

We could have a tree (although I hate them!)

Problem with your second paragraph is we don't have any extended family and I think it sort of draws attention to that and if DH is at work which he often is then the special meal is me and DS and a messy toddler! (Plus I am veggie and hate sprouts!)

I think different families just have different ways of doing things that suit them and I guess what suits us at the moment is a low-key Christmas.

OP posts:
Thelushinthepub · 27/08/2015 09:39

What I like about Xmas is:

Something exciting in the dreary winter
You can make it as magical as you want- booking ballets, Xmas parties, shopping for the menu, going to see the lights!
Seeing family
Having a live tree in your house!
The smells and candles and midnight mass

Now you might be thinking wtf? Big I've made these things special and something to look forward to. You easily could too, with a bit of enthusiasm and effort

No offence but I don't think watching bats is quite as magical as Christmas for most children

LittleMissLady · 27/08/2015 09:41

I've always loved Christmas, but I never made a massive deal out of it til I had DC. Then it suddenly felt even more important to me.
My family have always done decorations (inside only bar a front door wreath) and cards etc, big tree and big family gathering on the day but I only really started doing decs in my own after dd was born and admittedly have gone some what batshit crazy since then.

It's a personal thing. Do whatever your happy with. If you want to decorate more for your little ones so they enjoy it more or so that when they are at school it doesn't feel like everyone else does something more special, then go ahead but equally, if you like the low key thing then do that.
It's your Christmas. Do it your way

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:42

We had a tree and presents but I didn't really like it to be honest - I remember finding the run up quite frustrating rather than exciting! Then I hated Christmas dinner! Grin As I got older we went away skiing; loved that.

This may partly explain my Switzerland stance where Christmas is concerned - I acknowledge it but don't make a fuss. DH hates it!

OP posts:
Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:44

No offence taken - you weren't there :)

It isn't just the bats.

It's watching the sky turn from orange to lilac to deep inky blue and the bats fluttering in the dark garden.
It's the silhouette of the hills against the sky.
It's the only sound being owls and rustle of badgers and foxes.
It's the stars coming out and if you go out late at night you can see the whole Milky Way.
It's the faraway splash of something in the river.

To each his own. :)

OP posts:
JeffsanArsehole · 27/08/2015 09:44

If you did decide to big it up more do it on a different day other than Christmas when dad is there.

Otherwise you're just drawing attention to this 'special' day when dad isn't there Grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 09:46

Well each to their own and all that.

The thing is, your dc's are growing up without having a choice about whether they'd like the fuss of 'doing Christmas'.

sliceofsoup · 27/08/2015 09:46

I think that if you are happy with the way you do things then its ok to not let others influence that. Your house sounds wonderful with all the fairy lights and sitting out at dusk. If I could convince DH to not moan I would have fairy lights everywhere (he says the ones in the bedroom make it look like a brothel Hmm ).

I love Christmas, the tree and the presents and the lights brightening up a dark winter. I think its because Christmas was the one great thing that happened each year in a childhood of misery. My parents did Christmas well.

CaptainSwan · 27/08/2015 09:47

Sorry, I think that's really sad. Your dc will be going to friends houses and seeing SUCH a difference, not just a case of 'they've got x toy and I haven't' but a massive difference.

Christmas is a time for children and I don't see why you wouldn't want to embrace that even just in some ways.

Vintagebeads · 27/08/2015 09:47

You asked should you make a bigger deal of Christmas but go on to say you want a low key Christmas Confused Isn't this a pointless thread when your happy with your current arrangement.

My dad was a fireman and worked every Christmas either early or late,we still had a beautiful day with a tree and gifts so working really has nothing to do with it,you don't want to as is your right but it sounds dreary.

Pootles2010 · 27/08/2015 09:48

Do you not do a stocking for your ds? So if he has no extended family, am I right in thinking he gets one single present? I think he maybe could do with a little more, perhaps.

SaucyJack · 27/08/2015 09:50

Can't you have bats and Christmas?

We don't spend lots of money, but we do a tree/stockings and make decorations. Cos it's fun, basically.

Swipe left for the next trending thread