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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you think we should make a bigger deal at Christmas?

302 replies

honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:21

The threads already have me wondering.

DH often has to work so I think that's partly why it's just never been a thing. Don't decorate bar putting some cards up. DC1 gets one present. (Other DC was a baby last Christmas so didn't bother; might get her something this year.)

That's it.

I like Christmas but on the whole prefer Easter.

But other families seem to make such a fuss and I suppose I wondered if it was really very strange to have a low key day?

OP posts:
Verbena37 · 27/08/2015 10:17

My family were always very traditional and until we no longer believed in FC, Christmas was magical to us. After that, whilst I enjoyed getting together for a lovely lunch and present opening etc, it was never the same.

Now, for the past few years, we have been going away in the UK, just the four of us and setting our own traditions.....like never having traditional Xmas lunch. Each of us chooses what we want to eat for Xmas day lunch and I make/buy from Waitrose what we all want. It's just a simple meal at teatime and getting out during the day and just having family time.

I do all the present buying online and now my children are a bit older, I don't have to buy them as much because they get stuff all year round and there is no need. I have also much reduced what I buy for others. It's not about how much I do or don't spend......it's just a little token for each person (immediate family).

I feel a lot less stressed and far less materialistic than I used to be. It's just a few days and I'd rather spend that just being than spending and running around like a headless chicken!

We do have.a tree but that's pretty much it decorations wise.

Vintagebeads · 27/08/2015 10:18

There are those who go crazy at Christmas ,but I find the people who sniff about people wanting to celebrate the holiday equally annoying.

If you want Christmas to be about sniffing gingerbread candles with one piece of tinsel knock yourself out.

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:19

Oh no it is not, don't be so silly. Which part was a stealth brag post? Hmm We do nice things for our children. Sometimes, these take place outside the month of December.

I think my parents (well, my mother really) tried to make Christmas magical but it always felt very forced. My brothers birthday was three days after Christmas as well so that can be difficult if there's a massive fuss made over Christmas and you have a November/December/early January DC.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 27/08/2015 10:19

Not having a big Christmas is one thing, but one present just seems...I don't know, I'm struggling to find a word that isn't mean tbh.

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:20

Oh god yeah vintage, wouldn't do that.

I think some peoples Christmases look gorgeous and I often wonder if I should try harder when I see their efforts. Then realise I really can't be bothered ...

OP posts:
Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:20

They do get other presents throughout the year you know Wink

OP posts:
Geraniumred · 27/08/2015 10:22

You sound happy with your Christmas, but needing reassurance that it is OK to leave it as it is. As you have no extended family, you get to decide what to do and how much fuss or not to make about it. Don't start doing things you are not comfortable with just because you think you ought to. Christmas is done to death at primary school in any case, you children will get plenty of it there.

Mermaidhair · 27/08/2015 10:26

Op, I think it depends on what Christmas means to you. I celebrate Christmas as a Christian. If it doesn't mean anything to you, it makes sense to not celebrate it.

tabulahrasa · 27/08/2015 10:28

"They do get other presents throughout the year you know"

And?

There's a huge difference between not going overboard with presents at Christmas and only giving one present.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 27/08/2015 10:30

We have given up on turkey and have chicken now. I like turkey, but cannot cook it

You need magic steaming first method, it's amazing. And I hated turkey before I cooked it this way.

OP as a teenager my family had low key Christmases and I found it boring. My parents refused to buy a tree, and stuck a bit of tinsel up but that was it. My mum is veggie so I had years of nut roast which even now I can't stand or whatever they felt like cooking on the day. I always felt my family was different and I didn't like it, we didn't live near any other family either so never saw anyone else. It was always the Christmas my parents wanted rather than the Christmas I would have liked.

If you're all happy thats fine, but as your dc grow up they not be and I think it's important to recognise that.

abbieanders · 27/08/2015 10:32

Well you sound very happy with what you do and you clearly don't have any intention of changing it. Good for you. What was the question again?

SalemSaberhagen · 27/08/2015 10:33

I'm not sure why you posted.

Any time someone posts saying they think you should make more of a fuss they are getting smarmy replies with Wink and Smile faces. Bit strange to ask in the first place.

FWIW, I think it sounds a bit shit for your DC.

LittleBearPad · 27/08/2015 10:36

So basically you can't be bothered to put a bit more effort in and want to be told that's ok.

If is if you're happy with it but it sounds a bit meh to me.

googoodolly · 27/08/2015 10:37

I think it sounds miserable, but you've said you're happy, so why does it matter what everyone else thinks?

BathshebaDarkstone · 27/08/2015 10:38

We have a tiny artificial tree due to lack of space, put cards up and buy one decoration a year due to lack of funds, we're gradually building up a collection. The 2 younger DC get 1 toy and 1 set of clothes/fancy dress/pjs also due to lack of funds. I'm NC with the older 2.

gamerchick · 27/08/2015 10:42

Why are you posting?

I feel sorry for your bairn not having a few things to open and missing out on the run up in December. It doesn't have to cost a fortune. It's the little things.

You did ask, not sure why since your minds set in stone. Hmm

Sansoora · 27/08/2015 10:45

I think that if you are happy with the way you do things

I dont think the OP sounds very happy though. There's an underlying sadness and anger in her posts and its almost as if she's saying 'fuck you' to someone via Christmas.

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:46

Well, I did say on page 2 I think that I would probably get a tree, but really you can wonder things and think aloud as it were.

I want to add a ':)' but don't want to be accused of being smarmy.

If the kids want more, they can have it, but thus far no one has seemed arsed!

I do think how big your family is might be the key factor.

OP posts:
Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:47

Blimey San, how did you read that? Shock

I've said a few times how lovely some peoples Christmases are!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/08/2015 10:48

Thinking about it my parents couldn't be bothered either and I spent many Christmas days feeling sad. I couldn't do that to my kids and I certainly wouldn't brag about it if I did.

fourquenelles · 27/08/2015 10:48

Your lifestyle sounds wonderful to me. Do you need to adopt a grannie? I am offering Grin. In my opinion far too much is made of the commercial/present giving side of Christmas. But each to their own and I, for one, like your own.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 10:49

I too am now wondering why you posted , you say other Christmas posts got you thinking.

You then continued to post stating facts that everything is fine and magical all year round, not just in December.

Perhaps you are stealth boasting after all.

Bunbaker · 27/08/2015 10:51

I'm not a fan of Christmas, but we do have a tree, presents (in the plural) and a big dinner on the day. We don't live near family so it is just the three of us.

DD is 15 and will still get a stocking.

I don't "get" so many of the "traditions" that many mumsnetters do - elf on the shelf (whatever that is), hampers, new pyjamas, etc etc. Maybe they weren't around when DD was little. And I agree that Christmas celebrations are taken to excess these days.

I still think that one measly present sounds a little mean though. Does your son not feel a little left out when his schoolmates talk about opening stockings and all their presents that they get?

Do you and your husband have no family at all?

I love the sound of your nature watch evenings. We love seeing the bats flying round our house at dusk.

nancy75 · 27/08/2015 10:52

Really can't be bothered seems to be the key phrase

Original poster
honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 10:57

Im not really saying that, still, what I'm trying to explain is that I have a feeling that if I sat down and gave myself an objective of making this Christmas magical and wonderful and special, I can almost guarantee it would go spectacularly tits up, but when I just let things happen at their own pace they turn magical themselves like with the bats last night, if you see what I mean.

It's not exactly 'I can't be bothered' but just it seems pointless to expand a huge amount of energy and money and time into something that doesn't really interest anybody. DS isn't a crafty kid at all, maybe his sister will be and if she is that'll be lovely and we will do some Christmas stuff but forcing him to put glitter on pine cones would have him Confused and Hmm

I just wanted to refute that the children are denied pleasurable experience because of not having mountains of presents at Christmas, that's not a stealth boast.

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