To ask if you think we should make a bigger deal at Christmas?

[honeyandporridge]

The threads already have me wondering.

DH often has to work so I think that's partly why it's just never been a thing. Don't decorate bar putting some cards up. DC1 gets one present. (Other DC was a baby last Christmas so didn't bother; might get her something this year.)

That's it.

I like Christmas but on the whole prefer Easter.

But other families seem to make such a fuss and I suppose I wondered if it was really very strange to have a low key day?

I don't know really, multi.

I'm conscious my children do miss out on some stuff on account of us having no extended family at all. I don't feel guilty, exactly, about this as it isn't my fault! But just the same I know they live a life that's quite different to most other children they know.

Sometimes I think I should try to emulate their peers' lives a little more but ultimately it is a waste of time because all the lovely gifts in the world are meaningless and I suppose Christmas can make me a little bit sad for this reason. On balance, I think it's generally better to work with what you've got rather than trying to give them everything possible.

I knew I'd get some 'oh your poor poor children' posts which is fine - I just shrug those off because it is silly! But I also hoped some people might say they had low key Christmases as well or that their main celebration of the year was at a different time of year?

I just think every month is special and beautiful and Christmas, December is as well but not exclusively so.

Bunbaker I can empathise with that, although I'm hoping when the kids are older to go away skiing as that is magical not least because it tires them out

If Christmas spirit can be summarised by loving your family and friends I think I've plenty of that :)

I LOVE celebrations. Christmas, birthdays, Easter, BBQ, whatever the reason I love getting decorations up, having nice food/drink, counting our blessings, organising surprises, treats, playing, relaxing.

I think bat-watching def falls into the above. The joy of being alive isn't it. Having 50 billion presents just because, not so much.

DH often works at Christmas but I just carry on regardless and he joins in however he can.

My American In-laws take their tree down on the 26th , when we lived there I used to really hate that.

It made the whole 'Holiday season' look like a farce.

Mind you, they do whip it spectacularly in the run up!

I think only one present and no stocking or tree is mean if you can afford otherwise.
Christmas is firstly about Christ and secondly about others. Your children's Christmas is more important that what you are used to or can be bothered doing.

Just do what suits you.

I honestly CBA to make a big deal of the day, other than spending a bit more than usual on dinner because I happen to love turkey. We stay at home on the day and, apart from MIL, have no visitors. Any more fuss and expectation is just too much for the boys.

I do miss roast chicken. But we have chickens. I can't!

DDog gets a Christmas scarf too.

If Christmas spirit can be summarised by loving your family and friends I think I've plenty of that

If thats the case why apart from perhaps just wanting to be contrary are you asking about how you celebrate Christmas?

I've explained that three times Sansoora, but in any case, it is evident that Christmas is about presents/FC/decorations to many, which is absolutely fine and I have had a few nice little ideas from this thread about things to do this year.

If you are sure that's all right with you?

If everyone is happy, YANBU. Maybe have a chat wth your DS if you think he may want a bit more.

I love Christmas and we do make a big deal, although any mention of the C word is banned untl December. We don't go mad with presents at all, stockings for the kids and some gifts under the tree and we don't spend loads, but we do fun stuff together and spend time together has a family.

We don't live near our family so always go back to our parents for a big Christmas with my grandmother, brother, see the inlaws, etc.

We have our little traditions that the kids still love - I made them advent calendars years ago and they still insist on getting them out every year. We spend an afternoon together decorating the Christmas tree. We go out to our local garden centre/Christmas world type place and they choose a new tree decoration each. We usually make some gingerbread/sweets type gifts for grandparents. The annual family (light hearted) row over who cheated at Monopoly. I love just sitting in the dark with the twinkly tree lights.

Nothing outrageous or expensive, it's just nice. We obviously still do other family stuff during the year, it's not limited to Christmas, but we're all a bit scattered across the country so getting us all together can be tricky at other times of the year.

I think only one present and no stocking or tree is mean if you can afford otherwise.

Yup. I'm pretty sure that's exactly how JC himself would have put it. One present was never enough for that stockings-loving dude.

One present was never enough for that stockings-loving dude

san how do you seat all your guests?
Do they all stay in the garden?

I'm looking into cottages we can book this year, although it probably will be the week after Christmas.

It can be nice being somewhere new.

My mum is Xmas mad but growing up as one of 4 kids in the 80's, financially we had nothing. It was all about the atmosphere, the family, being together and appreciating the little pressies and treats we did have.

Finances did change and our Christmases did reflect this but not to an outrageous degree.... The premise of Christmas has never changed for me. Most important thing is being with the people I love.

I take after my mum and adore the festive period but I have two young kids (was heavily pregnant last year) so I have to contain the beast.

I save all our silver change throughout the year and this does the tree, food and drink and decorations etc. I actually don't go mad about presents and DP and I often don't buy for each other. We only do the kids of the family as well as we both have massive families. We just make sure we are well stocked or visitors!!

We visit both sets of parents on the day so we go armed with Prosecco and nibbles all from our food and drink budget and I make us our own Christmas dinner a few days after Xmas day.

The point is it can be as big or as small as you want / can afford but as long as the meaning isn't lost. Kids can see the happiness and magic of the festive period without all the glitz and expense.... With a little effort from the grown ups.

it is hard having traditions when the kids' dad might be there but he might not be

Not really. You can have an activity that you always do during the few days on the run up to Christmas and just pick a time when he is there.

Or you could do something like light an advent candle (one each) and if he is there he will join in, if not ds gets to light his dad's too, for example.

There are loads of little things you can do, if you want to.

That's quite a lot of effort though hacker really - saving ALL your silver change from the year, for one day?

Now before anybody has a go at me, that is not a criticism, on the contrary, your organisation impresses me but just the same it's not something I could ever imagine myself doing.

Yeah but - I guess the thing I am wondering, reading that post faire is - why? What purpose would it serve?

I love candles because they smell nice but I don't just light them on special days, you know?

It's not all about you though OP is it?!! I'd bet my life that your 9 year old couldn't care less about your candle!!

Well yes precisely!

OP I appreciate what you are saying.

I dog walk every day and love the seasons, I celebrate "Christmas", as a Winter Festival (I celebrate Easter "Spring Festival" to the same extent).

I had parents who used the phrases "fuss, bother, what's the point" etc, which as s child made me a bit sad, because I saw the joy that each individual family's effort gave to them and often felt as though I wasn't worth making "the fuss" for.

I don't go OTT materially, I spend what I can afford, but I enjoy the decorations.

I'm Vegan, so I look forward to my yearly treat of Southern Comfort, my youngest is going to be 18 (SN) we are planning to start to go away. I don't have an extended family in the UK.

So I think it's important what you say, be happy with your choices, without putting down the choices of others, in front of your children iyswim.

Your DD may have a different personality and want to decorate etc, as long as a parent allows their children to express themselves (sounds wankerish), it can't be damaging.

I have bats by my house and I live in a rough bit of Liverpool, as well as a country park etc, I couldn't stealth boast about were I live.

I've never used those words to DS or DD Birds, don't worry :) I do think that would be joyless.

I will again say there was absolutely no stealth boast in my posts, lost with that one to be honest. I am laughing at myself in a way for being so shit!

On the contrary I always admire other people's decorations - we just don't have massive ones ourselves.

""Yeah but - I guess the thing I am wondering, reading that post faire is - why? What purpose would it serve?""

I might have this wrong, but you sound quite "outdoorsy", if your DD is a different personality, you could incorporate what you do already to reflect the seasons and cultural festivals etc.

I think it makes children appreciate and understand Weather patterns, Food/Farming, Wildlife etc.

"I'm pretty sure that's exactly how JC himself would have put it. One present was never enough for that stockings-loving dude"

But he had three didn't he

Without having to buy extra stuff, which is the bit I object to, I do do Christmas Eve hampers etc, though.