To ask if you think we should make a bigger deal at Christmas?

[honeyandporridge]

The threads already have me wondering.

DH often has to work so I think that's partly why it's just never been a thing. Don't decorate bar putting some cards up. DC1 gets one present. (Other DC was a baby last Christmas so didn't bother; might get her something this year.)

That's it.

I like Christmas but on the whole prefer Easter.

But other families seem to make such a fuss and I suppose I wondered if it was really very strange to have a low key day?

Not really vintage, was just thinking aloud as it were. I've conceded I may get s tree this year.

No child has much of a choice in how they do Christmas or anything else, really - if he really was upset or bothered by it I'm pretty confident he'd speak up and ask if we could do XYZ.

Again, it's just different peoples ideas of fun isn't it? :)

On here Christmas seems to have become a bit "try too hard". I haven't seen much of that in real life.

Talk of "creating traditions" is a bit weird. Traditions emerge spontaneously you can't fake them.

People seem to put so much pressure on themselves to make it perfect and it rarely is.

I had some wonderful and magical childhood Christmases and I'm damn sure they weren't planned down to the finest detail. My (now adult) DCs talk about their childhood Christmases with nostalgia and I certainly wasn't exhausting myself to make it perfect.

And don't get me started on that awful, American elf.

Your DCs will remember the bats and the purple sky all of their lives. Real and perfect memories, not artificially created ones.

The thing is, your dc's are growing up without having a choice about whether they'd like the fuss of 'doing Christmas'.

The OPs DCs know no different, just as the children of someone who does make a fuss know no different. I would say that the majority of children get no choice in how they are brought up, where they live, how their family is. Why would Christmas be any different? All of our children can choose how to spend their Christmas when they are grown up and are paying for it themselves.

FWIW OP my DD1 would LOVE to have an evening like you describe, but sadly we live in a town and its difficult to see the stars. I really should take her out to the beach or a field late one clear night to see the stars.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you do things. If you want to add just a little bit more to it though why not watch a special movie on the sofa with hot chocolate and fluffy blankets or something like that. You don't have to eat into the whole Christmas thing but you can still make the day magical and build memories. Or how about helping out somewhere? or going around and visiting old people who are not their own at Christmas. maybe take a board game along and some festive snacks. Your kids would learn a lot from this and I bet it would be Mich appreciated.

We go slightly crazy at Christmas, it's my favourite time of the year. I had a really shit childhood but my memories of Christmas have always been happy ones so that's probably why.
we try to make the day magical and do things together as a family. We don't spend loads on gifts but we do buy a new board game every year and play that, watch a Christmas film on Christmas eve in new PJs while drinking hot chocolate. that sort of thing.

Whatever you do, do it happy.

Do, slice - it's gorgeous :)

If DS, or DD when she's bigger, came to me and said 'we really want a tree and a stocking and turkey,' I would say 'fine.' Well, probably not to the turkey actually.

But the elf shall never ever darken these doors

Honey, I think it is fine to keep Xmas a little low key in your family. Especially while DC1 is too small to know the difference. I often think Xmas is a conspiracy against women. Doing the full shebang is exhausting and stressful, so by all means don't put yourself in chains.

On the other hand, as DC1 gets a bit older she will see it all around her. It is a strong cultural tradition, and it makes sense that she will want to be included in the fun. So I would expect to have a tree and a visit from Father Christmas. That doesn't mean that you have to spend thousands on presents or get caught up in the "Christmas dinner must be perfect" cult. If you don't give a nod to the main customs, she may feel different and left out of what is an exciting time for her classmates.

We don't make a huge deal of Christmas. I'm working it this year in any case, plus it's midsummer here.

We still have a decorated tree and stockings for the boys though, plus special meals (croissants for breakfast with Buck's Fizz, crispy roast duck pancakes for lunch, BBQ tea with a honey cured ham).

Did you say your DH hates Christmas? It is entirely up to you how you choose to celebrate it, or not. But don't be surprised if your children grow up and make a massive fuss over it with huge trees! Maybe you could plan something else for that time of year that would be fun for you all and special to your family. What would you like to do that you could do all together every year and have as your family tradition? Having no extended family gives you fee rein to do what you want.

Your Xmas sound perfect Micro. Ours is way out of control.

We do nice things at Christmas, but then we do nice things all year round, is the thing Geranium, although I know what you mean about the kids probably growing up to have massive trees and the like!

Spring - well, March through to July really - is my favourite time of year by miles. I squawk on about it endlessly!

Of course everyone is different but I do think its a real shame that you haven't tried to make it more magical for your children. Of course living in a beautiful place is lovely but that doesn't mean you don't do other things because of that. We live in the middle of acres of ancient woodland and so my children are also surrounded by nature at all times but they still love Christmas.

Nobody is saying you have to buy into the commercialism but you could bring masses of holly and fir cones into the house, wrap evergreen branches down the stair bannisters and string fairly lights down them, make a twinkly wreath for the door, make salt dough and gingerbread decorations, stick glitter on the end of pine cones and string them across the windows, make bundles of cinnamon sticks and orange and clove pomanders and hang them from door handles so that the scent fills the room whenever the door is opened. All easy, cheap and largely natural.

Overall I think this is your issue and its a shame to project it onto your children.

Blimey. Cheap it may be - cheap in terms of time it is not!

We have given up on turkey and have chicken now. I like turkey, but cannot cook it.

Although I do buy a mince pie scented candle from my favourite shop in town. He sells seasonal ones. Bluebell mist for spring, jasmine nights for summer, woodland morning for autumn. You get the picture. The mince pie one is delicious. So the house always smells nice.

Well, that is a completely different issue. But the reality is that gathering evergreen branches and wrapping them around the bannisters with some fairy lights would take a couple of hours one sunday morning which would include a walk in the woods. sticking glitter on some pine cones, again an hour or so? gingerbread cookies, the same. They're all things you could do with your DS. You don't have to do it all at once, just do a bit each week in the run up to Christmas.

I love Christmas so do go all out.
but if you and your family are happy with the way it is then so be it. I do feel quiet sad for your dc's but then i went to school with many Jehovah witnesses who don't celebrate Christmas/easter or birthdays and they survived just fine x

I think we always made a fuss because often it was the only time we might see family all together, so rather than Christmas being special, it's the time spent with family. We lived a long way away from everyone (in a different country) so Christmas and New Year was holidays time.

I think it's nice to have something to look forward to, especially mid-Winter when it's usually depressingly dark and rainy, but I don't have to have all the traditional stuff, like Christmas dinner, or writing cards.

I think they are missing an aspect of childhood that some parents strive to make special.

Advent calendar.
Visiting Father Christmas
Leaving food out for him and the reindeer.
Writing a letter.
Tracking FC on Christmas Eve.

We've actually simplified Christmas since having children. I don't want them to be grabby and think the day is all about what they can get. They won't ever be spending the day shut away in their bedrooms as soon as they've seen what goodies they got this year, only to come out for food. No chance. Christmas is about family. Spending time together without having to worry about anything else. We have a pretty free flowing day. We open gifts when we want, eat when it's ready and sleep when we're tired. The only rule we have is that we do Christmas together.
Our gifts are opened one by one. We sit around the tree and take it in turns to open a gift. We make sure the tags are read and they know who bought them what. The kids only get 1 gift from Santa. It's always something wooden, because that's what the elves make in all the films. Elves don't make playstations! All the rest of the gifts are from us and family/friends and the children know this. I hope it will make them more appreciative. They also get a stocking, from Santa.
We do the whole Christmas Eve box thing, with a DVD, book, PJs and hot chocolate marshmallows and popcorn. I love that.
I'll stop going on now hahaha getting too excited!

I think it sounds as though your children are having a lovely childhood. Our Christmas is thronged with extended family stress.

I think that is the key part Fan, and of course it must be lovely if you have a big extended family and get to see them all.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not Scrooge and I think Christmas is lovely. Love the Muppets Christmas Carol and Nightmare Before Christmas. Love Christmas carols. Love the lights and the dark nights and Christmas markets. But you can enjoy that without the day itself being the entire focal point of October, November and December.

Marching through the woods with children looking for branches is a case in point - I walk through the woods with the baby and the dog every day and it's gorgeous seeing the seasons change but I don't feel the need to fill my home with gods creations

(That is not a criticism of those who do; I am often the first to admire other people's endeavours. But mine never turn out quite as I envision! I have concluded I'm not a Pinterest mum, no matter how hard I try!)

Honey, your Christmas does sound wonderfully low key and non-commercial.

It is a religious celebration. If that is not what you are into, then it is fine not to celebrate it.

The secular part is all gone a bit mad. (Says I who has just posted my Christmas traditions on another thread). But we tend to not focus too much on commercial aspects - we don't have an Elf either, advent calendar is as much about things to remember others ("Today is the food shop for the Lion's Club appeal - try and list what might be nice for another family to have") or doing chores around the house or for others who need help (we used to do a lot for DGran while she was alive, for example).

If your family enjoy family time, and have a celebration that suits you, then I think that is perfect. Especially if your DCs are happy with it. Enjoying nature and the changing seasons are as, if not more, important than decorating or buying loads of tat.

A happy family, in the celebration of what is effectively the festival of the family, is a wonderful thing.

They fed real reindeer last year. That was nice. But again, we recently took them away and they saw reindeer and fed them again. In August.

It's the events, not the season, isn't it?

Your kids life sounds fun and magical, if Christmas isn't your thing then don't worry about it.

I don't think you were really wanting to ask if you should do more for Christmas though.

This is a total stealth brag post.