AIBU to not give money to these friends

[yorkshapudding]

I really don't know if my friends are cheeky feckers or if IABU for finding them cheeky so hoping MN can give me some perspective.

In the past month or so I have been included in two group FB messages from friends asking me and everyone else they know to "donate" to their crowdfunding sites.

The first message if from a couple who have decided to quit their jobs and go traveling around the world for an unspecified amount of time. They state that they have been saving up and will be selling pretty much everything they own (although they point out that they don't have cars or property to sell) but still need money for their "trip of a lifetime" and are asking their family and friends for "donations". There is a lot of blurb about how they both hated their jobs and they've decided to do something brave and change their lives for the better etc. Fair enough, but I'm not sure I should be expected to fund their decision

The second message is from a friend who is planning to start her own business. It is a leisure/entertainment type business for which I imagine she will need to find a premises, employ staff etc although she doesn't actually say what she plans to spend the money on. She just says that although she is using her own savings and plans to secure a loan she will still be a few grand short and is "hoping this will come from donations by generous family and friends". It is very clear from the message that she isn't looking for investors, just "donations" to "make my dream happen".

I admit I don't know much about crowd funding and am probably out of touch but I thought it was developed to raise money for charitable causes or projects that are socially useful in some way.
Is it now considered acceptable to outright ask people for money for things you want to do but can't afford as long as you do it via social media? If so then where is the line? Would it be acceptable for me to send a message saying "It's my dream to live in a bigger house but I don't earn enough to cover the mortgage so here's a link to my crowd funding page"??

Maybe I'm being mean but it just feels uncomfortably close to begging for a handout, which would be fine if any of these people were in genuine need but quitting your job to travel and starting your own business are choices aren't they? There seem to be a lot of replies saying "will definitely donate" etc so that makes me wonder if I'm just being a misery

So MN jury, would I be unreasonable to ignore the above messages or would you feel obliged to bung them a few quid?

Just ignore. I even ignore sponsors for people's kids posts. You're not getting my money

I don't think you're unreasonable to ignore it. I feel a bit about them but equally I guess if you don't ask, you don't get. I definitely wouldn't feel obliged to donate.

Yanbu, I would not give to any in your position. You don't have to give, so don't.

YANBU, you're not being a misery, and I wouldn't feel obliged to give anything.

Part of me thinks things like this are so rude and cheeky that I can hardly believe what I'm seeing, the other part if me thinks it's genius and if you can get your friends and family to pay for your holiday then bloody good luck to you.

No, I wouldn't give them anything. If they ask, say you're saving up to start your own business/go on a world trip.

The best crowdfunder I've seen was for a game (bit like Dungeons and Dragons) - everyone who donated got something to do with the game (which retailed at $100.) They reached their target in hours - great game, great rewards.

Other than that, I've only seen crowdfunders where someone gets something specific in return, unless it's for a charity, of course.

They are not a charity. They want to do something, can't afford to and think someone else can pay. Don't worry, they won't get much off anyone. If they don't reach their target on most sites, they don't get a penny - what's it like on theirs?

Yanbu!

I wouldn't be giving them any money.

If they can't afford it then they shouldn't be doing it.

Cheeky feckers

Hey, let's all quit our jobs and go for trips of a lifetime!

YANBU if you don't donate. I tend to hate this kind of thing myself. I suppose they could be thinking if "you don't ask you don't get" and if anyone chooses to give that's up to them.

I would be divided between... the idea I would remove myself from the group and sit and watch those crazy people planning to support their lifestyles...

Ignore many peoples requests for charity

I have aquaintances who use Kickstarter, and I like the format of that in that they have set donations but you get a 'reward' for each one. So basically people have fronted them money for stuff to keep their business going, or expand....but then you get a hamper of their product in return once they've recouped the cost in sales.

But that's not the same as helping someone go off on a jolly round the world because they feel like it.

Strange, I think of crowdfunding as being for hobbies/ charities/ political parties.
Asking your friends to pay for your nice long holiday or career change sounds like a good way to piss off and reduce your supply of friends.
If they aren't good friends maybe time for a facebook cull.

I'd ignore & depending on how good friends they are, I'd likely unfriend or at least hide their posts!

Sounds like Cheeky feckers to me.
The ones looking for that trip of a lifetime sounds like. Lets just save half the money we need and scrounge the rest form hard working friends and family who are not irresponsible enough to quite their jobs.
The one with the business needs to at least reward her benefactors in some way, like the hamper of goods idea once she has everything going well.
My friend did a one year world tour type thing, she funded herself, she put money onto her visa card every month so she was well in credit and saved like a mad woman, all her plane and train tickets were paid in advance and she knew where she would be and for how long.

Just ignore ....... DH and I had a fabulous 'year out' but we saved and used our own money, wouldn't have dreamed of asking for contributions. .

Yet another reason for not having FB or similar .

This would drive me up the wall. I would ignore. There are lots of things I want that I can't afford, but why would my friends part with their cash for that?

I saw a girl I know set up a just giving page for her MA. She never did an MA, and I have no idea of anyone who did donate (I didnt) got their money back.

How is it brave to give up your job with no financial cushion?

Well, surely the woman wanting to set up a business should go to Funding Circle? The couple wanting to travel instead of working are simply cheeky fuckers so ignore.

Yanbu! It's just a high tech way of begging!

Kickstarter is the biggest, I think, but with them you get either all the funding or nothing.

Which one are they with?

I wouldn't donate. Social media has made it easier as people would find it a lot harder to make these requests face to face. Like queenrollo says, you usually get something in return too. There's a bakery near me starting up who are doing this and they're offering things for different levels of funding, eg printed bags, breakfast for two. What are they offering you, a postcard?

This isn't really crowdfunding, is it, though - it's just begging. I don't know how people have the nerve and YANBU to be . The 'trip of a lifetime' people just need to save up for what they want. It may or may not be brave but it's nobody's responsibility to fund it for them. The person setting up a business needs to be offering something in return - either some kind of stake in the business, in which case she needs a solidly researched business plan that she's prepared to let you look at, or something material, in which case what's really happening is that people are pre-ordering, in effect, in order to get the business up and running, or to bankroll some kind of expansion. That's the more recognised kind of crowdfunding. Best case scenario is that your friend has misunderstood this.

I'm in the process of setting up a business and I wish it was as simple as just asking other people to fund it - or maybe I just have the wrong kind of insufficiently gullible friends.

A bloke I know did this to buy a piece of land on which to keep his half-built 'tiny home' exactly the same as a caravan from what I could tell Alright bloke (and we were once quite close) but refuses to earn his own money while being perfectly capable of earning a crust. (Not a benefits dig...I'm on benefits and he isn't. He lives with his mum, who funds him.)

Tagged a shit load of his FB friends into posts about it asking for donations with a link to the site.

At the time I thought cheeky bastard. But as the days drew on, I took great pleasure from seeing him post more and more, tagging more people, and not receive a single donation.

I'd ignore such requests but God I'd be tempted to respond saying "So sorry, can't donate right now as I'm crowdfunding the purchase of my holiday villa in Tuscany. Those who donate will receive one personally signed postcard from me each summer :) "