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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 10:18

Christmas you say no sodding way! Luckily she likes sitting in on her own at Christmas so we
Have it in our own. We normally have a party on the night and she comes but no chance this year!!

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 20/08/2015 10:24

Tell her you enjoyed Yorkshire soooo much you are going back there for Christmas and every other holiday forever but you've only been able to book a very small cottage

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 10:25

I tell you I'm so glad we have spain booked for next week with my mum and dad. I need a holiday to get over this one Grin

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 20/08/2015 10:26

Christ this woman takes the cracker biscuit Shock

Could you smear some of your precious cheese across her keyboard?

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 10:39

When I first stared this thread I wasn't going to post this story as I thought it would out me if anyone I knew read it but I think we're past that now. This will have you all crying with laughter I promise

On the second night we walked into hawes which is five minutes away. We got back in and she was doing the affected breathing, went in her pocket for a tissue shouted fuck sake ive lost my teeth!

Followed on by much swearing and shouting we all traipse off to the field we have just walked through looking for said teeth. It turns out she had taken them out and put them in her pocket and they had fallen out on the field

By this point she is ranting and raving about lost teeth and how she will have to go home. Luckily my 6 year dd found old them and they weren't eaten by sheep!

I'm wondering if it might have been best if she didn't find them and would be nicely tucked up at home by now with nice thick air, nice water, no stinky cheese and no fucking rain!!!

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 20/08/2015 10:47

I had a cartoon-like image of a sheep grinning up with MIL's teeth in!

Oh you are a saint to put up with it, I have a relative who can be difficult like this (not old, just...ahh!) and it can ruin trips. And my MIL and FIL went on a long drive to Scotland and retreated paying for a room with a Highland view because "you don't spend time looking out of the window do you?" and "one mountain looks the same as any other". Wasted on them!

Mydearchild · 20/08/2015 10:50

Maybe she threw them away deliberately so she could go home?!! She sounds like a right pain in the arse. Nothing like a family holiday to see people's true colours Confused

meercat23 · 20/08/2015 11:32

I am wondering what she expected or wanted to happen on holiday? Right from the start she was told that she could go out with the family or stay in the cottage and chill as she wanted. Did she expect that you would all stay in every day with her?

I think you have been very patient OP I think I would have hit the roof with a vengeance long before now.

As for the Candy Crush tune, what is all that about. If you want to sit all day playing that's one thing t at least turn off the sound!

ImperialBlether · 20/08/2015 11:43

Does she swear like that in front of the children?

One thing is for certain, you will never have to have another holiday with her again.

pictish · 20/08/2015 11:44

I love your subtle yet deadly cheese based strategy of upper-handing. Grin

SistersOfPercy · 20/08/2015 11:53

I'm sorry to tell you the Sheepdog found them first....

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 20/08/2015 12:15

I hope it's not because she's jealous of your parents going with you to Spain.
Tough.

DriverSurpriseMe · 20/08/2015 12:16

I am wondering what she expected or wanted to happen on holiday? Right from the start she was told that she could go out with the family or stay in the cottage and chill as she wanted. Did she expect that you would all stay in every day with her?

This. I mean FFS, what WAS she expecting?

Fidelia · 20/08/2015 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumpysquash · 20/08/2015 12:37

OP, I think this has been the most entertaining thread I have ever read on MN. I feel your pain, and I'm not laughing at you at all, but you have an amazing way with words that really captures the situation.
Now picturing the old lady out of The Catherine Tate Show ('thin air! Worra f*cking liberty! [apologies if you haven't seen it]), playing Candy Crush.
I think you are amazingly stoical and well done for clinging onto the last thread of sanity. I think it will be a holiday that rightly has it's place in family folklore.
I will be following until you arrive home, clutching what remains of the cheese :)
Have a great time in Spain x

OTheHugeManatee · 20/08/2015 12:44

I am loving the subtle cheese-based torment Grin

ChaircatMiaow · 20/08/2015 12:54

grumpy that's exactly who I'm picturing too! Grin

JeffreysMummyisCross · 20/08/2015 12:57

Clearly blue cheese is to MILs what garlic is to vampires. Good to know.

ollieplimsoles · 20/08/2015 13:13

Threads like this is why I joined mumsnet, a whole epic holiday ruined and documented live... One for classics for sure.

I can picture her now; a wizened, cats bum, old hag like something out of a Roald Dahl book.

Thank god she wont ever be coming with you again. I would LOVE to see a picture of the old crow, fag in mouth if possible.

We spent our honeymoon in Yorkshire dales and visited lots of the places mentioned here too, was magical Grin

FatherReboolaConundrum · 20/08/2015 13:23

Is this her, OP?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2015 13:25

Rotfl my sides are hurting god they are, thank you for this thread it is d
So funny. My mum us sitting next to me watching Cilla Black funeral, I am trying not to laugh at this thread. If it were not so awful for you, it would be a so,utterly hilarious. Well it is for us Grin.

clam · 20/08/2015 13:27

Grin SistersofPercy

clam · 20/08/2015 13:28

"watching Cilla Black funeral???" Seriously? That's being televised?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2015 13:38

Yes it is Clam on BBC 24

BringMeTea · 20/08/2015 13:40

My very first thought clam! Surely not.