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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
diddl · 21/08/2015 10:49

"Diddl - I think the problem was that she hasn't been away from her home even for a night for 35 years. She was out of her comfort zone and really didn't want to be here and I think she missed her mum."

Gosh! I almost feel sorry for her.

Still she could have asked to go home, & not make it a misery for everyone.

Not quite the same, but my dad lives alone & has a routine.

when I visit& stay for a few days, one of the first things he says is "now, you are going to see X&Y, aren't you? and if you want to go shopping or somthing, don't feel that you have to ask me all the time, or mind if I don't come"Grin

grumpysquash · 21/08/2015 13:00

OP are you nearly there yet?

EponasWildDaughter · 21/08/2015 13:27

Only half an hour to go and it's all over Grin

DriverSurpriseMe · 21/08/2015 13:28

WineWineWineWineWine

StealthPolarBear · 21/08/2015 13:33

Great thread :o

LaContessaDiPlump · 21/08/2015 13:40

I can't wait to hear what her parting words will be. If it's 'Thank you, I had a lovely time' then I think Hammer might spontaneously combust.....

HammerToFall · 21/08/2015 13:54

We're home. A big massive thank you to all for helping me get through this week - if some of you hadn't made me laugh through the toughest time there could have been a very different outcome Shock

Well the parting words were ...............thank you for a lovely week!!!!! I'm afraid I really let myself down at the last minute and exclaimed really you could have fooled me. Although with the selective deafness she may have chosen not to hear!!!

OP posts:
grumpysquash · 21/08/2015 14:00

The thick air probably dampened down the sound waves :)
Well done for surviving the week.
I think I speak for us all when I say 'thank you for a lovely thread!!!!'

HammerToFall · 21/08/2015 14:10

Let's hope my mum and dad don't start or there will be another one in a week LOL

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 21/08/2015 14:20

In the absence of a Yorkshire Blue cheese emoticon, here is the wine to go with it: Wine

LaContessaDiPlump · 21/08/2015 14:24

I have been humming the song that goes with your username all week, and am now playing it in your honour.

Welcome home and congratulations on surviving!

OnlyLovers · 21/08/2015 14:31

I really let myself down at the last minute and exclaimed really you could have fooled me. Grin Respeck, OP.

And viva Espana.

DriverSurpriseMe · 21/08/2015 14:36

You DID NOT let yourself down. That response was restrained compared with the barrage of expletives you could have launched at her Grin

Oldraver · 21/08/2015 14:39

Oh she had a 'lovely week' did she ?

You know this leads to lots of lovely PA present potential in the future

A lovely Dales teatowel to 'remind her of her lovely week'

A pot of Yorkshire Blue to remind he of the trip to the creamery ...obviously you didnt realise she hated the stuff Grin

Bathsheba · 21/08/2015 16:36

I do feel sorry for everyone - Hammer, what a LOVELY thought, but some people are just "untreatable" - you simply cannot give them treats.

My MIL is like this - you can't buy her mice things and you definately can't take her to nice places - she is just so uncomfortable that it is very very stressful for her - which is a huge shame because if I want to treat a person then nice things and nice places are what I do...!

lthough, the breathing and the thin air are ridiculous.

I know you wanted to treat her and it sounds as if you tried so much, but it sounds like she can't be "treated" with trips.

Carriemac · 21/08/2015 17:27

You know with all the smoking maybe she should get her chest checked out if she finds walking difficult? Although she sounds like a PITA she may be up unwell also

HammerToFall · 21/08/2015 18:07

Oh Carriemac both we and she know this but she's not going anywhere near a doctors surgery. She has family in the profession and they've told her till they're blue in the face but it makes not one iota of difference. She knows her chest is bad and she knows it's the smoking, but it's not so bad she can't walk 100 yards, she manages perfectly well at home with nice thick air Wink

OP posts:
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