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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
ThomasRichard · 19/08/2015 22:08

:o OP we need a photo!

DriverSurpriseMe · 19/08/2015 22:18

I feel rotten for you OP. It's shit that she's ruining your holiday like this.

But I can't stop watching Grin

Photo! Photo! Photo!

(Probably best not to have her entire face though?)

pictish · 19/08/2015 22:24

I'm not going to be so brash as to ask after a photo.
I will simply keep checking to see if there is one.

Taylor22 · 19/08/2015 22:26

If a photo were to generously be put up. Would I be able to see it in the app?

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 07:30

I'll look at doing the photo once I get home on the pc. I looks like we're going home a day early. The first words I was greeted to this morning was 'all it is does is fucking rain here' and I've just about had enough enough now. As an earlier poster said she has just upped and upped the ante to get a reaction. I always used to get on well with MIL but this has shown me that she really isn't a nice person. I feel gutted for the amount of money we've spent and time we've wasted.

OP posts:
pictish · 20/08/2015 07:37

Oh what a shame. I hope you are planning on telling her how her behaviour blighted your holiday and it's not an experience you'll be repeating.
Not talking about a rant at her here of course, but a calm and plaintive statement of fact.

G1veMeStrength · 20/08/2015 07:37

Noooo Hammer you have done so well. Don't cave a day early. We are all relying on your dreadful MIL to cheer us up through hackergate. I think your MIL needs a swat attack, it could be the grand finale to your week (JOKE) Wink

Ask your DC what they would like to do most in the world and do that today, sod MIL, and enjoy your cheese.

pictish · 20/08/2015 07:39

That should read, I hope you'll both be telling her...

Chippednailvarnish · 20/08/2015 07:41

Noooooooo! Don't let her win, put her on a train home after secretly packing a small amount of cheese in her bag

redshoeblueshoe · 20/08/2015 08:00

Silently Screaming Grin
Its funny that we tolerate inconsiderate remarks for years then all of a sudden the penny drops and you can see someone is actually just a bitch I'm looking at you SIL

scarletforya · 20/08/2015 08:03

She sounds like a right selfish baggage.Angry

magicstar1 · 20/08/2015 08:07

I'd try and extend the stay for another couple of days just to piss her off...that's upping the ante Wink

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/08/2015 08:09

She is sounding bitter and very ungrateful.

Personally I think you should ride it out and leave her for the day, go sight seeing and have a lovely lunch.

She can't bitch anymore than she already has done.

Floisme · 20/08/2015 08:10

I'm sorry if my earlier comments upset you, op - I misjudged how bad things were Blush Anyway I completely agree with pictish about both of you telling her - in a calm and measured way - that her behaviour is unacceptable. I'm sure you wouldn't let your husband or your children spoil your holiday like this so why should she get special treatment?

londonrach · 20/08/2015 08:50

Take her to nearest train stain, buy ticket and give her money for taxi other end, hug her say you see her on your return. Return to cottage, beach, local attraction..enjoy x

diddl · 20/08/2015 08:59

I really do think that you should tell her to pack her stuff & you'll take her home as she's not enjoying herself.

and is spoiling it for everyone else

Then take her to the station & leave her to it.

Penfold007 · 20/08/2015 09:32

I'm sorry she has spoilt your family's holiday. Sadly going home is probably for the best. I hope your DH challenges her on her behaviour.

CoraPirbright · 20/08/2015 09:47

Yorkshire blue in her pillowcase. Its the only way to go.

OTheHugeManatee · 20/08/2015 09:52

Another one saying cheese her bedding. Cheese it good and proper.

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 09:52

Well we've decided to stick it out and take the kids to white scar cave at ingleton. We have been sat discussing it this morning and she hasn't said a word just peered over her laptop in between candy crush games to see what we are talking about but I certainly don't intend to consult her. Once we are ready DH is just going to say this is where we're going do you want to come or not. I'm having Yorkshire blue on crackers for lunch, tea and supper. The smell drove her to bed last night Wink

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 20/08/2015 09:58

Good for you Grin

I'd have snapped by now ....

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 20/08/2015 09:58

Still, it won't be long till Christmas, are you going to hers, or is she coming to you?

You have my sympathy OP, I have minor IL issues, and my own dear mother can be vexing.

Enjoy your cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

WicksEnd · 20/08/2015 10:02

You need to plant some of that cheese under her bed when you get home. How you have stuck this out without throttling her I'll never know.

Chippednailvarnish · 20/08/2015 10:03

Cheese soufflé for dinner?

G1veMeStrength · 20/08/2015 10:06

Would it be really mean to suggest hiding all the chargers? laptop/phone etc.

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