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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2015 14:36

It was on News24 just now, mother was rooted to the TV.

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 15:14

She's thrown me over the edge! I swear I am not making this up - we went out for lunch and she came. Spent 20 minutes deliberating over whether she would like the food and hedged her bets on a cheese toastie for being the safest option. She fucking left it because ....... It was tough!!!!!! I walked out the restaurant and waited in the car. I daren't post the two pics (huddles over the laptop and fag in hand) on here but if anyone would like to see the miserable old bat on me and I'll send the pics!!!

OP posts:
diddl · 20/08/2015 15:17

Cheese???

Ah, go on, send us a pic!

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 15:18

She doesn't mind cheddar just not mouldy yorkshire blue lol

OP posts:
G1veMeStrength · 20/08/2015 15:20

Just wondering... As a child was your DH a fussy eater glued to his Gameboy... Is this MIL's revenge?

Andylion · 20/08/2015 15:24

...cheese toastie for being the safest option. She fucking left it because ....... It was tough!!!!!!

It was tough? Maybe she forgot to put her teeth in again. Grin

MrWriter · 20/08/2015 15:25

oh my goodness. I've had a slow day in work and this thread has kept me entertained - sorry op.

Hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

How can a cheese toasty be tough? Did she piss the waiter off when she ordered it, and he actually served old boots in toast?!

Katie2001 · 20/08/2015 15:26

Sounds a bit like she was the old boot on toast to be honest.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 20/08/2015 15:28

once we went for lunch with my IL and it's a very long time ago

they had a salad sandwich (half each), shared a packet of crisps, had a small pot of tea and asked for an extra cup, and then ordered a Muffin....to share, which provoked much comment as it was one of those fuckoffBIGasyourheadones

And then they sulked as we paid the bill....they wanted to treat us...just bear in mind there were five of us...all with healthy appetites and we'd made it clear we were going in for proper lunch. Now I never let them pay....can't bear the pursed lips and ill disguised shock that a meal out cost more that three shillings and sixpence.

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 15:31

I can't send photos by PM how do you do it??

OP posts:
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 20/08/2015 15:31

they still talk about that muffin. And they'd talk about the bill too if I'd let them pay.

Are you sure the found teeth were hers? I mean there could be any number of miserable old ladies with teeth in their pockets daundering over that field toget some space from the Worst Holiday Cottage In The World.

grumpysquash · 20/08/2015 15:34

Please post the pics, I'd love to see them.

For what it's worth, at least you won't notice the difference if she starts getting grumpy because she's hungry Hmm

grumpysquash · 20/08/2015 15:40

Tondelaya, my IL are like that with the price of meals. We once had fish and chips in a pub in about 1999, and MIL still goes on about how outrageous it was to pay £6.99 each when she could have 'made it herself' for less. Except that we were out for the day, which was the point of eating out. And DH paid anyway, so she could have just chosen to thank him for the treat! Still, she didn't lose her teeth, or leave the food, so it could have been worse.

sadwidow28 · 20/08/2015 15:51

I live at a distance from my family but have always visited regularly (4-6 times a year). My DM was somehow easier to handle when my DF and DH were alive .......

However, she luuuurves fish and chips at the seaside, so I continue to take her out (just the 2 of us now we are both widowed). Over the years, I know to expect a whinge of some sort:

  • I've got a bone in my fish (well swap with me then)
  • The batter isn't crispy enough (we won't come here again then)
  • This is a tiny fish (pensioner special) - I only like the fish and 6 chips (have my regular fish it's bigger) ... and then she scoffs the full portion of chips as well.
  • I like to sit on a bench to have my fish (I'll buy a takeaway)
  • Shall we sit outside Mam? (I don't like flies on my food) .... errr didn't flies fly around when we were on the bench last time?)
  • Not all of this fish is white - there's some dark flesh that I don't like (swap it BACK to me then) ..... decides to keep the big fish having poked around and trashed my fish because mine might have bones in that she can't see.
  • I don't like salad with my fish and chips, cucumber gives me the burps (well put it on your side plate and leave it)..... finishes off every bit of the salad - including sucking the lemon wedge - and burps loudly to prove cucumber doesn't 'agree with her'

DM will be 91 yrs old next month and she gets more cantankerous each month.

AIBU to think about leaving the country?

paulapompom · 20/08/2015 15:52

Can't stop laughing at this thread - though do feel for you op x

A creamary that smells of cheese, a sheep wearing lost false teeth, fb candy crush, and pictures of the house to see if the washing up has been done!

She could have a sit com written about her, but it'd seem far fetched.

Never mind, the end is in sight x

purplewhale · 20/08/2015 15:52

Make sure you've plenty of cheese to take home, it should give the car a nice aroma Grin
I think you need a medal to have put up with her Smile

You need another trip to the creamery on the way home (it's one of our favourite places)

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:00

I've put pics on my profile for a couple of days

OP posts:
momb · 20/08/2015 16:02

I can't see your profile :-(

slithytove · 20/08/2015 16:03

Profile isn't viewable yet

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:04

Sorry moms I've just changed it it wasn't visible before Grin

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 20/08/2015 16:05

Can't find your profile. Not sure how to do it Confused

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:06

Just realised fag in hand isn't showing so ive readded it

OP posts:
momb · 20/08/2015 16:10

'profile page not available right now'.

ollieplimsoles · 20/08/2015 16:12

How do we view your profile!

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:14

Argh it's not working is it and there's no option to send by PM. I daren't post on the thread with no way of deleting them just in case!

OP posts:
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