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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 19/08/2015 16:47

OP I owe you an apology. Your nightmare holiday has been keeping me entertained in the seventh circle of hell (soft play)I can't imagine how frustrating this must be. You're a better person than me.
What happened when your OH confronted her?

Taylor22 · 19/08/2015 16:50

Just saw your update. I take it back your pure evil lol

How has no one not told her to grow the fuck up?

Ohfourfoxache · 19/08/2015 16:57

Fucking hell the woman is batshit Shock

Have you offered to drop her off at a train station?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 19/08/2015 17:03

I had this with a friend in May when we went to wales. Fuck me, she didnt wanna do anything, spent most of the time engrossed in her phone ignoring us, moaned about everything. Only time she spoke to DD was to have a go at her.

Her excuse for her behaviour when called out for it = She was in a bad place.

Well that's alright then.......

I am never going on holiday with her again

trufflesnout · 19/08/2015 17:16

I love these threads. This is how MN should be Grin thanks OP

YouTheCat · 19/08/2015 17:28

Set her alight? That'll warm her. Grin

redshoeblueshoe · 19/08/2015 17:45

You could have a big party on Friday night

I'll bring Wine Wine Wine Wine
and a hot water bottle for your MiL

thecatsarecrazy · 19/08/2015 17:48

I love my dad dearly but he can be like this. He says we never visit but I'm there every bloody weekend and I live an hour away. He asks us to take him out for the day but he cant walk very far, my dh once drove him to Bristol it was 3 hours driving then when we had got there said he had enough and wanted to go home he wasn't up to it. Then when I said I wanted to find ds a birthday present while I was there he kept asking if I was done yet.
Took him somewhere closer and he said it was crap. I meet him in town sometimes and the main high street isn't very big but when we walk anywhere he keeps saying how much fucking further is it? I can never look round shops with him either he gets what he wants and if I want to go anywhere gets arsey so now I leave earlier and do it first

Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 18:46

I hate cheese. I hate it to the point that if I have to go near it I try to hold my breath (I can make a cheese sandwich quicker than the speed of light, in fact, if I were a super hero I would be called Cheesespeed, anyway I digress)

I simply could not resist serving Yorkshire blue with ever single drink or morsel of food eaten from the kitchen.

Yorkshire blue with crackers
Yorkshire blue with Toast
Yorkshire blue with cornflakes
Yorkshire blue on a Mars bar
Yorkshire blue floating in my tea...

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 19/08/2015 18:55

My mother was like this; dead by sixty but we couldn’t bury her for another 12 years.

Good luck OP, enjoy Spain.

Taylor22 · 19/08/2015 19:01

In response to chippednailvarnish post.

Do it do it do it do it do it Do it do it do it do it do it Do it do it do it do it do it Do it do it do it do it do it

OTheHugeManatee · 19/08/2015 19:27

I laughed out loud at 'creamery smells of cheese' Grin

Your MIL is so awful I'm lost for words. Please keep updating us. I'm ashamed to be rubbernecking at someone else's car-crash holiday but she sounds like something out of League of Gentlemen and I can't stop staring Grin

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 21:15

And she refused to come out to tea with us tonight. Hasn't said a word since we got in at 2100. Yorkshire blue is getting ripe

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 21:17

Put her on the first train home in the morning. Save yourself!

FantasticButtocks · 19/08/2015 21:20

How about putting her on the spot? you could say to her 'We had really hoped this trip would be a lovely treat, but we can't help noticing that you don't seem to be enjoying yourself very much on this holiday, is there anything you'd like us to do differently?'

FantasticButtocks · 19/08/2015 21:23

Although, actually on second thoughts, she might give you a whole barrage of grievances and before you know where you are you'll be in the centre of a full blown row!

Ohfourfoxache · 19/08/2015 21:33

How much longer have you got? Really think you should get rid of her ASAP and enjoy what's left of your holiday.

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 21:38

Can I posts pic of her sulking on this page? It would out me but I really don't care at this moment in time

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 21:41

Only if you can get the Yorkshire blue in shot Grin

LavenderLeigh · 19/08/2015 21:43

It sounds like she is working up to a big fight.
Steel yourself with some lovely cheese!

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 21:44

I can try chipped I can try!

OP posts:
annettec01 · 19/08/2015 21:52

Have more ????and????

Aeroflotgirl · 19/08/2015 21:59

Yes please op, would love to see that Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 19/08/2015 22:00

This thread should be in classics Grin

WanderingLily · 19/08/2015 22:04

YAdefinitelyNBU. Some people just have to suck the joy out of everything. Her life doesn't sound exactly great and she's probably just lost the gift of being positive about anything.
If you and your husband could laugh about it privately, it might help; but it sounds as if he's tense and embarrassed and it's making him cross.
What a shame that your kindness has been thrown back at you like this. I think if you take her home other than at her express request, she will feel kicked out and the whole thing will be a disaster that will drag on for years. Maybe just grin and bear it, chalk it up to experience and never do it again.