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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

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HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 13:20

Well the creamy was too cold, stunk of cheese and was too expensive.

However the comment of the day so far has been 'seen one hill, seen em all'.

When the kids started arguing she asked where the nearest stream was so she could go drown herself so I told her Grin

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Aeroflotgirl · 19/08/2015 13:25

Oh god op she needs a slap in the face with a wet smelly fish, she is awful. Never again!

Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 13:29

Your DH needs to take her for a walk on his own. A very long walk.

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 13:31

DH would say something but I've told him not to bother. I really can't be doing with all the drama that would ensue from pulling her up. If she starts this behaviour at home we can just leave so I think the lesson has been learnt. It has become quite laughable now. When we get home I'm just going to say 'MIL I gather you really didn't enjoy the holiday so we won't bother asking you again'

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Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 13:34

Can't you at least get an unflattering photo of her scowling, whilst the rest of you look really happy and post it on FB...

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 19/08/2015 13:36

Hammer you know that she is probably going to say she had a lovely time when you drop her at home don't you? Grin

sadwidow28 · 19/08/2015 13:42

I actually think that MIL is enjoying the moaning! She is forcing herself to be miserable........ for attention. So when she is not getting the reaction she desires, she is raising the ante!

I'm sending more wine supplies now Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine

I would send Flowers but I think they may trigger MIL's previously undeclared hay-fever! Wink

quietbatperson · 19/08/2015 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 13:53

I've just played her at own game. I think she's had enough of the kids and wants some time to herself. We said about going for a ride in the car to aysgarth where she doesn't really have to walk. She said if you lot want to go walking please don't let me stop you. So I saw in a lovely concerned voice 'ooh no MIL. I wouldn't want to leave you on your own all day it's really mean' she looked slightly uncomfortable to say the least.

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sadwidow28 · 19/08/2015 13:59

Awwww.... poor MIL

Hammer ............... clever move!

Don't miss out Aysgarth Falls whilst you are there. We used to do Sunday trips to there when I was a 'ickle child:

www.yorkshire-dales.com/aysgarth-falls.html

ExitPursuedByABear · 19/08/2015 14:02

I am loving the idea of thin yorkshire air.

quietbatperson · 19/08/2015 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 14:37

Oops think she's mad. She now sat outside in the beer garden smoking and refusing a drink muttering that we are dragging her all over. DH has lost his rag and gone out to have a word. I'll let you know the outcome

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LaContessaDiPlump · 19/08/2015 14:41

High drama!!

MostlyCake · 19/08/2015 14:52

Contrary mare!

Keep drinking and ignoring OPWine

ArmfulOfRoses · 19/08/2015 15:06

I hope she cheers up a bit op, her behaviour is really not on and actually is something that I think is worth an argument when it's your family holiday she's ruining.

Chippednailvarnish · 19/08/2015 15:15

I bet she turns on the tears!

DriverSurpriseMe · 19/08/2015 15:28

He bloody needs to have a word. The more she's allowed to get away with it, the more she misbehaves. Treat her like a toddler OP!

redshoeblueshoe · 19/08/2015 15:33

I think you might need these Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine

SiobhanSharpe · 19/08/2015 15:38

Uh-oh. I foresee tears before bedtime. (Not you, OP) Stay strong and make all the gins large ones!

CoraPirbright · 19/08/2015 15:41

You could play MIL bingo - everyone gets an individual topic (eg thin air, walking, smells etc) and the first one to top 3 moans shouts "HOUSE" and you all fall about laughing. When she asks what is going on, you can explain in detail, just how much she is moaning and how badly she is ruining everyones holiday.

Nasty piece of work, she is. Still, looking on the bright side, you will know never to ask her again!!

Fyaral · 19/08/2015 15:56

Brilliant. You can't possibly win whatever you do. Have fun trolling her.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 19/08/2015 15:59

This thread is brilliant. Well done Hammer for achieving such a Zen-like level of acceptance. Keep it up. Grin

HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 16:39

Cora - I just nearly pissed myself reading that. MIL bingo best idea I've ever heard. When ive had a few more drinks tonight I'll try and get a sneaky pic of her in her coat when the log fire is burning huddled over candy crush. It really is hilarious

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HammerToFall · 19/08/2015 16:46

When DH started speaking to her she just walked away and went to the loo and has been sulking ever since. She just keeps saying how cold she is. There is a roaring log fire in the cottage! Oh she just said she can still smell the mouldy cheese from the creamery and it's making her feel sick. She doesn't know ive got half a pound of yorkshire blue warming nicely in the kitchen haha

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