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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with MIL

342 replies

HammerToFall · 18/08/2015 08:37

We are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire dales, we come here a lot and thought it would be nice to ask MIL if she wanted to come this time. Bit of background, MIL has always been a single parent and has struggled financially over the years. She does t work but looks after her elderly mother and spends most of her days back and forth sorting her mum out. We thought it would be a nice break for her to not have to do anything and just relax and not worry about feeing the gas and electric meter etc.

She said she would love to come but wouldn't be able to the long walks do - absolutely fine. DH said to her do whatever you mam come out for the day, sit and relax in the cottage, come for a drink or not. It's entirely up to you, just have a break.

Well since we got here she has done nothing but moan. The water doesn't taste right, the air is too thin, the towels smell funny etc etc. she is struggling to even walk into the local village which is five minutes so we said we drive there, but she doesn't want to go, she basically wants to sit in the cottage all day on her tablet. This is fine, no problem, we thought she might. However she wants us sitting in it all day with her as well!

The kids do not want to sit in a cottage all day, they want to be out exploring. She are now getting passive aggressive comments with sly digs about being left in her own all the time, and she keeps mumbling to the kids that she's going home.

She is sending messages to other family members saying how mean we are leaving her in her own, but she literally does not want to do anything she won't even go out for dinner or lunch in case she doesn't like the food!

I know she wants to go home, but if DH takes her then it's an eight hour round trip and we are losing a days holiday. I don't know wether to confront her the next time she makes a comment and try and chivvy her out of it or just go with it and ignore the comments, or take her home, lose a day and enjoy the last few days of our holiday Angry

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/08/2015 16:15

Your profile isn't available, bugger!

ollieplimsoles · 20/08/2015 16:15

You could ask hq to delete your message after 24 hours or something? Although they might be a bit busy!

momb · 20/08/2015 16:18

You know what? This thread has been (black) comedy gold and I'm not sure we even need the pictures. Thanks so much for sharing.
Can I ask: what has she been eating in the cottage if even a cheddar toastie is too alien for her palate?

ollieplimsoles · 20/08/2015 16:22

I'm not surprised if she has killed her taste buds dead with the fags anyway Confused

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:25

Not a lot momb. I can list it.....

Friday night - two picked onions and four nachos

Saturday - a tin of chicken soup and half a slice of bread (she was ill with the thin air)
Sunday - she managed a small portion of steak pie at the pub
Tuesday - a quarter of a quiche and half a jacket
Wednesday a slice of toast
Today one bite of cheese toastie and a bit of salad

OP posts:
HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 16:28

Oh and the chicken soup that we had to go and get especially was to help break up her chest caused by the high altitude and thin air ( nothing to do with the fags you understand)

OP posts:
momb · 20/08/2015 16:32

Hells teeth: no wonder she's a bit irrational. Any danger you could cook her something simple that she'll actually eat?

Janethegirl · 20/08/2015 16:34

scrambled egg on toast?

Atomik · 20/08/2015 16:35

She is as we speak looking up ex hubby on facebook and slagging him off In front of DH whilst dipping into candy crush

OK. That's it. The only sane conclusion is that my mother has a long lost twin sister that is ten years younger

grumpysquash · 20/08/2015 16:41

Friday night - two picked onions and four nachos

Bet her breath is lovely Blush

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/08/2015 16:42

She must be bloody starving!

00100001 · 20/08/2015 16:49

Well its not like she's incapacitated... She can get her own bloody food!!

shiteforbrains · 20/08/2015 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat · 20/08/2015 17:00

Do you think the profile page not available thing is to do with the hacker?

DriverSurpriseMe · 20/08/2015 17:00

Does she normally eat this little? Appetite suppressed with all the smoking? Either she has an eating disorder or she's playing one impressive fucking martyr act!

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 17:04

She only eats food from morrisons and we had a sainsburys delivery as morrisons don't deliver round here so unfortunately even if I cooked she wouldn't eat it. The sainsburys quiche was declared sloppy and revolting!

OP posts:
Atomik · 20/08/2015 17:05

or she's playing one impressive fucking martyr act!

My mum used to do this. She once went a week apparently living on just enough food to sustain an anorexic mouse.

The effect was destroyed when I discovered all biscuit/ wrappers assorted other package food remains in her suitcase though.

Ironically enough the discovery was provoked by a mouse. A rather fat one.

grumpysquash · 20/08/2015 17:07

So OP, if you have been there since last Friday, does that mean that you go home tomorrow?
[counting down the hours]

HammerToFall · 20/08/2015 17:13

Yep home tomorrow. Miraculously over the past hour she has totally changed. DH has taken kids out to the park and she's chatting away having a beer and commenting on how lovely the scenery is! I've tried to broach the subject of her abject misery with her but she looked at me incredulously as though I were mental! I'm lost for words to be honest! A few more beers and I may not be so pragmatic

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 20/08/2015 17:16

She's perked up because you're going home tomorrow.

She'll be rewriting history the minute you get back and saying she had a lovely time.

highkickindandy · 20/08/2015 17:20

yes YouTheCat and dropping very heavy unsubtle hints about wanting to go on holiday again with you next summer, as it's a "thing" now that she goes on holiday with you every year for the next 500 years.......... so sorry you've had a rotten time, you deserve a medal for not pushing her off a cliff.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/08/2015 17:20

Oh gosh the fecking actress Shock[angry. I don't think she really wanted to go away, and this was probably put on. So she can try but chose like a pustule the child to have a week long strop.

HerRoyalNotness · 20/08/2015 17:24

I'm still snorting at the dales on tv!!

So glad my PIL are easy going, we had a lovely 2 weeks with them recently. In fact when FIL did try to start an argumwnt with me over something very stupid as a 'joke' MIL cut him off sharpish.

My own mother on the other hand is the queen of PA.

ollieplimsoles · 20/08/2015 17:44

My mil is a classic martyr, especially with food, she's always picking at stuff, complaining about what someone has made, going on and on about how little she has eaten in a day.

We too found loads of empty packets in her office cupboard Grin

Chippednailvarnish · 20/08/2015 17:49

After a hard day at work, Hammer your miserable Mil cheers me right up!

Sorry, but think of it as taking one for the team...