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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DB is mean to be charging my DCs for a room we don't want in a holiday home

761 replies

TheReason · 15/08/2015 20:20

DB has arranged weekend away for all of our family. We are meant to be splitting the cost.

There are 6 bedrooms in the house he is renting out. It's working out at approximately £200 per room as me, my DB and DSs are covering the costs of my parents room.

This is a lot of money for us as money is tight due to childcare costs. To be honest I wish we weren't going as we can't really afford it but we feel obliged.

We are the only ones with children.

DB booked the holiday home and - without asking us - decided our children need their own room. Our 2 year old actually sleeps in our bed all the time anyway. Our 6 year old sleeps in his own room at home - but, I would prefer he just squashed into our bed in the holiday home - as otherwise we're paying an extra £200 for him to sleep alone in a room. Chances are that our 6 yr old will end up in our room anyway as he often does and it wouldn't bother us at all.

DB has no children and has no understanding about what having children means.

DB texted me to tell me the breakdown of the cost and I saw that me and DH are having to pay twice what everyone other couple has pay as we have to pay for two rooms.

From DB's point of view he seems to think my DSs are 2 extra people that should be charged as anyone else attending is being charged.

From my point of view, I think it is mean to charge my DSs as adults. Of all the couples attending we actually have the least disposable income due to having the expenses of childcare etc.

If the roles were reversed and DB had children and I didn't - then I would expect that the cost would be divided out per adult.

When I was initially unsure about attending the holiday at all, DB made a big issue about how important it was that my DS's attend. Normally he pays them very little attention and is not really a great uncle for them. He calls over about once every 2 months even though he lives close by and has loads of free time. He seems to feel he has ticked some box by giving them a tiny bit of attention. He always buys them very very cheap presents even though he has no other nephews or nieces and has a very high income. All of this is entirely his choice but colours how I feel about him charging my DC's for a room they don't need

AIBU to think the cost of this holiday home should be divided per adult?

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 21:31

I'm desperate to know how this will all pan out! I'm far too invested. Do a few of you fancy splitting the cost of a room, in the same hotel, four ways with me. If we can't all squish in the one bed we could smuggle in a few air beds and no one would be any the wiser Grin

sleeponeday · 17/08/2015 21:32

I do think open communication might be the sanest way to resolve this one. Everyone seems to be talking about everyone else to everyone else, and nobody is addressing the problems directly.

chippednailvarnish · 17/08/2015 21:38

Well OP I did suggest that you call him, 3,000,000 posts ago! But no it's far better to call and message all of your siblings, their partners and a few randoms on the internet. After all a big drama is much more fun!!

Hopes your DB wises up and pulls out

chippednailvarnish · 17/08/2015 21:40

3little Grin

With Bob and Jean?

Maryz · 17/08/2015 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 17/08/2015 21:47

At this point (actually a few million posts ago), I think I'd just book somewhere nice for your parents only. The way this is going, all the siblings are going to be mad at each other and your parents will sense it and not understand what is going on, until you all blurt it all out and ruin the weekend.

FuzzyWizard · 17/08/2015 21:49

Lweji- that's a good idea actually. For £1000 you could send them away somewhere really nice.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 17/08/2015 21:50

Club together and buy your parents a few crates of Gin.
Sounds like they deserve it.

Then all go off and make your own holidaying arrangements.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 17/08/2015 21:54

Well your dms nervousness puts paid to the idea that she will enjoy this. I have to question whether anybody actually wants to go?!

Suggest a hotel, or at least say that no one was expecting a three day weekend and that there will be problems for people to attend that long. It does seem unreasonable for him to assume everyone can get a day off work. If you switch to a hotel it should make the cost allocation easier, but then would miss out on the togetherness that I thought was for your dps benefit?

3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 22:00

chip Grin I'd even let Bob and Jean have the bed and I'd take the floor! As long as they pay 25% x 2

bedraggledmumoftwo · 17/08/2015 22:00

3littlebears Grin

bedraggledmumoftwo · 17/08/2015 22:02

Sorry that should have been badgers.

Dont you think you should charge bob and jean a premium for the bed ( unless there is also a sofa bed/ pull out and cot in the room of course!)

Floggingmolly · 17/08/2015 22:05

It sounds bloody awful, actually Hmm. A complete stress fest. Bring your parents out to a Harvester for a nice meal and give them a cheque for £1000, op.
It'll save everyone's blood pressure reaching critical levels in the long run.

Funinthesun15 · 17/08/2015 22:06

So after all that it isn't even booked yet!? mountain and molehill spring to mind

Gooseberrycrumble2 · 17/08/2015 22:08

Nothing's booked so nows your chance to talk to your brother and suggest a hotel or two nights only.

chippednailvarnish · 17/08/2015 22:11

But what if Bob and Jean are living on the state pension? Surely that means they deserve a discount? clutches pearls

And are we going to split the food bill or bring your own pot noodle?

LL0015 · 17/08/2015 22:14

I have RTWT
So now I am hooked and marking place. Need to know if Bob and Jean remember to take their golf clubs.

3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 22:15

bedraggled too flipping right can't believe I didn't see it before. Why should I subsidise their comfort while i'm tossing and turning on a fancy lilo. Right Bob and Jean can each pay 30% and I and one of you will pay £20 each.

sadwidow28 · 17/08/2015 22:16

Oh for goodness sake, just get the 4 siblings to put £250 each (£1,000 total) in an envelope and allow your DPs to spend it as they would wish!

I am one of NINE children and we haven't had this much drama doing shared presents (we call it 'The Kitty')

sadwidow28 · 17/08/2015 22:18

And as for Bob and Jean - I'll give them a FREE holiday in my holiday home because..... because..... they probably deserve it!

3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 22:19

chip pension is a lifestyle choice they could carry on working if they wanted to! Happy to split food bill though. I'm good like that.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 17/08/2015 22:19

Definitely pot noodle, otherwise someone might order champagne and lobster and then try and split the bill!

3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 22:20

How about pot noodle for lunch then eat out in the evening?

AgathaChristie01 · 17/08/2015 22:22

At this point (actually a few million posts ago), I think I'd just book somewhere nice for your parents only. The way this is going, all the siblings are going to be mad at each other and your parents will sense it and not understand what is going on, until you all blurt it all out and ruin the weekend.

Completely agree.

3littlebadgers · 17/08/2015 22:22

Or eat out in the evening with a maximum budget? If someone orders the lobster they pay for the lobster!