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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit disapointed - Ring related

165 replies

Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:04

Ok so my snooping has brought up something which has disappointed me and it's my own fault I guess.

It was our 20th Wedding Anniversary this week and as its either china or platinum I bought DH a platinum disk of the album which contains our song. He presented me with a beautiful platinum eternity ring. We also went away for the week and had a lovely time.

While we were away we spoke about our presents and I said how lovely the ring was and how expensive it probably was, as I had looked at platinum rings for him but in the end settled on the disc, which still cost ?100. (I didn?t tell him the price).

Anyway, I know where he bought the ring from and today I had a look on the website, it was ?119, which isn?t the disappointing bit as price just doesn?t matter. But it?s a white gold ring, not platinum, which he kind of led me to believe, even if he didn?t say the words.

So AIBU to be a tidy bit disappointed, even though I love the ring?

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 15:37

Unicorn tears would be lovely ... Must mention to DH

The giraffe was a tiny bronze one, so still in keeping with the years.

AnotherTimeMaybe YANBU only because he led you to believe something different, so a bit cheeky/ lie on his part this this this

Silvernightfairy I am sorry that your both suffering, we have had are having our fair share of shit.

OP posts:
Spartans · 15/08/2015 15:37

des Grin

Roussette · 15/08/2015 15:39

Greenkit I think you have to forget about whether it is platinum or white gold because your initial reaction was to like the ring. If you hadn't have looked, you would have still liked it.

It was a big one for us recently. I went and bought a ring I liked (not expensive) and gave it to my DH for him to give to me and put the money in my account - he is honestly incapable of shopping for anything like that! That didn't worry me, he knows he wouldn;t know where to start with buying something for me and I don't mind that I choose because I end up with something I really like. You should be pleased your DH made the effort, lots of men don't.

Costacoffeeplease · 15/08/2015 15:40

Well done op, pick out one person who agrees with you, and ignore the vast majority who don't, way to go

Rafflesway · 15/08/2015 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Redglitter · 15/08/2015 15:41

You loved the ring. You said it was beautiful it cost more than the gift you bought him yet you're on here complaining Hmm

noeffingidea · 15/08/2015 15:43

OP, a lot of people don't know, or do,the themed anniversary gift thing, well apart from silver and golden. You're probably the only person in the world that would assume a 20th wedding anniversary gift would be platinum.

Snoozebox · 15/08/2015 15:48

Fuckssake. Pointless thread deserves pointless reply

CiderwithBuda · 15/08/2015 15:52

Noeffingidea - I did! I looked it up as we were approaching our 20th and wanted some ideas for what to get DH. Saw China and as it was an American site I managed to look at it did say the modern interpretation is platinum. I'm reading it as platinum colour - given that the whole thing was dreamt up by a marketing department/librarians. I'm interpreting their interpretation as I want! I got DH knives. I'm getting a ring or pendant probably in White gold.

Whoiswrong · 15/08/2015 15:56

Op, I personally think YANBU. He did have the opportunity to say it's not platinum but didn't take it.

Either way, you can't help feeling dissapojnted. Why don't you just talk to him? If he can afford it, maybe he'll buy you the platinum. Either way , you'll feel better after talking to him - I hope

noeffingidea · 15/08/2015 15:56

Sounds nice Cider.
Perhaps the OP's husband intrepreted it in the same way then.

LuluJakey1 · 15/08/2015 16:01

You don't see that SilverNightFairy's husband having a life-limiting illness is relevant to your post about being upset that the eternity ring your husband bought you for your wedding anniversary is only white gold and not platinum?

FFS. Shock

You must be as completely self-centred and mercurial as you sound.

Incase you really did not understand her point. She would love to still be married to her husband on her 10th wedding anniversary never mind you checking on websites what your husband has spent on you on your 20th and then whining about it.

I am staggered by you Op- can't believe you are really as crass as that remark implies. TBH your apology makes it worse - it is still about you and implies your two situations are comparable. Me, me, me, me, me!

Bubblesinthesummer · 15/08/2015 16:08

Sorry but you lost my sympathy when you looked up the ring.

You saw a ring, really liked it, DH got it for you and then you got your knickers in a twist because it isn't platinum you are lucky if that is all you have to worry about

Burnet · 15/08/2015 16:09

If he's lying about the ring I bet he's lying about everything. He probably has a second wife. Do you actually know where he is right now?
The swine.

chippednailvarnish · 15/08/2015 16:10

Actually that would piss me off, but I am very much the type of person who would rather save up for something special than buy a cheaper alternative. I have very little jewellery for this very reason.

However if you could only afford £100 on his present you clearly can't afford expensive jewellery and are being grabby to expect more. Cut your cloth and all that.

Funinthesun15 · 15/08/2015 16:10

Silvernightfairy, my brother in law has a brain tumor, but I dont see how that is relivant?

The fact that you can't see the relevance of silvers post, says it all really

Findtheoldme · 15/08/2015 16:16

How could 20 years be platinum when 25 is silver? Surely platinum is more valuable than silver?

rainbowunicorn · 15/08/2015 16:31

You sound like bloody hard work OP. My hubby would not know the difference between white gold and platinum but I would be grateful for the thought put into buying me a nice present.
I really can't believe how whiny and ungrateful you are sounding over this. I feel sorry for your husband.

Pannacott · 15/08/2015 16:42

I get it OP,everyone always gets a hard time in AIBU. Your hb gets you a platinum ring, but doesn't make a big fuss about it. You can't figure that out because they are so expensive, there a discrepancy somewhere in this. You look it up to figure out what's going on. You see it's not platinum, it's white gold, which is fine, it's still a lovely gift. But why didn't he say so? You gave him a conversational opportunity when you told him you couldn't afford platinum for him. That's the mysterious bit. Maybe he felt embarrassed, maybe he momentarily froze. Or maybe he thought you'd prefer this to a mug. Who knows. I'd bring it up with him, whilst telling him you love it and are very happy with it. Sounds like it needs to be in the open between you.

MythicalKings · 15/08/2015 16:45

20 years UK = China
20 years USA = Platinum

youareallbonkers · 15/08/2015 16:48

So the disc you bought him is actually made of platinum? And anyway what is he meant to do with it? He probably doesn't even remember it's your song

UnsolvedMystery · 15/08/2015 16:52

Very odd. Very, very odd.

I celebrated 20 years with my DH recently. We went away for the weekend and we bought each other a card. Nothing else mattered.

GoblinLittleOwl · 15/08/2015 17:20

Read To be upset and feel a bit second rate?
That will put it in perspective.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 15/08/2015 17:32

What a load of jealous people. Just because you haven't been given sth/ you wouldn't care, what does it have to do with the OP. I hope none of you ever complains about/ is upset by anything because children in Syria suffer.

She's clearly upset that her DH deceived het. Could have replied honestly but didn't. Why us it so shocking that she feels down about it.

UghMug2 · 15/08/2015 17:41

The only people who have ever bought me rings were my mum & grandma & never costing more than £20. I was eternally grateful for the thought. Surely that's enough? It seems a bit pathetic that the ring wasn't the right material for an anniversary that by all accounts seems to have been the wrong one anyway. YABU - appreciate the fact he loves you enough to get a gift at all.

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