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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit disapointed - Ring related

165 replies

Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:04

Ok so my snooping has brought up something which has disappointed me and it's my own fault I guess.

It was our 20th Wedding Anniversary this week and as its either china or platinum I bought DH a platinum disk of the album which contains our song. He presented me with a beautiful platinum eternity ring. We also went away for the week and had a lovely time.

While we were away we spoke about our presents and I said how lovely the ring was and how expensive it probably was, as I had looked at platinum rings for him but in the end settled on the disc, which still cost ?100. (I didn?t tell him the price).

Anyway, I know where he bought the ring from and today I had a look on the website, it was ?119, which isn?t the disappointing bit as price just doesn?t matter. But it?s a white gold ring, not platinum, which he kind of led me to believe, even if he didn?t say the words.

So AIBU to be a tidy bit disappointed, even though I love the ring?

OP posts:
laffymeal · 15/08/2015 14:22

Thanks clam, don't fancy a pearl necklace anyway fnaar fnaar

TheFallenMadonna · 15/08/2015 14:22

I googled. Chicago librarians did the new list apparently.

AuntyMag10 · 15/08/2015 14:23

Yabu, get over yourself. The real gift is that you have 20 years of marriage to celebrate, surely that is the significant bit? He hasn't said it was a platinum ring so don't even think of making him the bad guy here.

clam · 15/08/2015 14:23

Whilst I know that platinum is a 'thing' nowadays, I would never choose it, as I look shit in silver-coloured jewellery. Makes my skin look pasty, unless I'm sporting a tan. I always have to opt for a light gold.

VikingVolva · 15/08/2015 14:26

In UK, 20 years is the (not that widely celebrated) china anniversary. Next to no-one follows what US librarians (and jewellers) try to foist upon the public to increase consumption.

Getting a gold ring 30 years before the golden anniversary seems a pretty good deal to me.

manchestermummy · 15/08/2015 14:29

Does he actually know that platinum and white gold are different? It's the sort of thing my DH would think. He might genuinely think that platinum is another name for white gold...

Anyway YABU.

Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:29

It was Wed..

I am at work today and just thought I would have a look, which is my own fault.

Anyway I do love the ring, just wish he had said I got this one instead because platinum was too expensive. I told DH I couldnt afford platinum so bought something else. Last year he bought me a tiny giraffe which is lovely, so im not grabby.

OP posts:
diddl · 15/08/2015 14:30

Would you rather have had china or nothing?

Just look as it as a lovely present for your 20th anniversary.

SaucyJack · 15/08/2015 14:32

I'm in a generous mood today, so I'm gonna assume it's the deliberate misleading that's upset you, rather than the cash spent.

Cos otherwise........

Bakeoffcake · 15/08/2015 14:32

Are you sure he knew it wasn't platinum? You said in your OP that he "hadn't said the words".

Maybe he saw the ring, thought it was platinum and bought it.

If he did say it was platinum, then I'd be annoyed as he was lying. I wouldn't be worried about the cost.

Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:34

I did say to him, china or platinum, if he have bought me a mug I wouldnt have cared. Grin I knda have a thing for them.

Anyway kick up the arse duly noted.

OP posts:
DirtyMugPolice · 15/08/2015 14:34

Why were you interested in how much it was? I only found out how much my engagement ring cost this year (9 years after getting it) as we were doing our home insurance and wanted that covered on the policy. It's the sentiment that matters surely - not the cost?

Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:35

Kinda*

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:36

The cost matters not a bit, ?10, ?20, ?100 I dont care

OP posts:
RepeatAdNauseum · 15/08/2015 14:36

Maybe he thought you were joking and ignored the platinum or China request to get you something you like?

Original poster
Greenkit · 15/08/2015 14:45

I'm in a generous mood today, so I'm gonna assume it's the deliberate misleading that's upset you, rather than the cash spent.

Yes Saucy Jack this..

When I said I hadnt bought platinum because it was so expensive, he could have said yes I know so I bought you white gold. He chose to keep his mouth shut, now whether he didnt realise it was white gold or not, I have no way of knowing.

OP posts:
Runningupthathill82 · 15/08/2015 14:48

Fucking hell. That is all.

DirtyMugPolice · 15/08/2015 14:53

I don't mean to be awkward - but it must matter a bit if you looked it up online!

noeffingidea · 15/08/2015 14:54

For goodness sake, why does it even matter? Your husband has bought you a nice ring that you liked, up until you discovered it was white gold, not platinum. If you hadn't looked for it online (why??) you wouldn't have even known the difference.
I really think you should have a little word with yourself.
Yes, you are being unreasonable.

SilverNightFairy · 15/08/2015 14:54

My husband is dealing with a life limiting illness. I can only hope we make it to out tenth wedding anniversary. Sorry but YABU.

Costacoffeeplease · 15/08/2015 14:55

And this matters why exactly?

PestoSwimissimos · 15/08/2015 14:55
Biscuit
justabigdisco · 15/08/2015 14:56

When you say he 'allowed you to think it was platinum' what did he actually say?

20th is not platinum, that is a modern interpretation designed to sell platinum gifts.

noeffingidea · 15/08/2015 14:57

Oh and he probably 'mislead' you because he didn't get the significance of it not being platinum. Like any other normal person.

Spartans · 15/08/2015 15:00

It obviously does matter or you wouldn't have looked it up online.

In the UK, 20 years is not platinum.

Also he may have just picked you the ring and didn't know how to say 'it's not platinum' when you assumed it was.

You did assume it was. He probably felt awkward about it.

Did he even know you were under the impression it was platinum before he bought it?