Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He's wipped his shit on my towels!!!

333 replies

WalfordEast · 14/08/2015 20:51

Friend has decided to come to stay with her boyfriend this weekend.

Said boyfriend had a shower this morning, and obviously decided to wipe his arse on my towels. There is shit on one of them- sorry if TMI, but it's like skids, not chunks so I think it's just arse-drying-and-realising-your-arse-is-still-shitty iykwim.

Regardless, it's fucking disgusting and they were a birthday present- cost a small fortune from the white company.

AIBU to go out tomorrow and buy another and give him the bill???

I haven't confronted- but I made a point of putting the towels in the wash as we sat down for dinner earlier and he didn't even look embarrassed.

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 14/08/2015 22:22

Dilbert- give the OP your contact details and you can give her friend's boyfriend lessons on 'perfect anal cleanliness on all occasions if you have a pile'

Whatever, I don't think it is a discussion to be had with said guest. Just never invite him back and only ever give guests disposable towels - or tell them to bring their own.

If people have a bth or shower- they dry their bits on your guest towels. Whether you see the evidence or not, it is there!

We don't allow guests to use our bathrooms, they have to go to the local swimming pool and use their showers and loos.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 14/08/2015 22:22

Jenenberry . I don't think it's a medical problem , just that someone had a shitty arse. But there are a few people up thread who think otherwise .

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 22:24

jenen, I think I have had a "firtle of the bum" OH does it when we are feeling playful.

BlueBananas · 14/08/2015 22:24

I might regret this question but ... What are 'poo crumbs'??

Nanasueathome · 14/08/2015 22:27

Two problems here

  1. Cannot believe we are on page 7 of a thread about shit in a towel
And
  1. Cannot believe I have sat and read through all the posts
jenenberry · 14/08/2015 22:28

blueBannanas,

Poo Crumbs are another word for Gazonkulnuts.

People of a hairy persuasion tend to get bits of poo trapped in the hair around their bum holes.
Said trapped bits of poo then get transferred onto towels.

Cherryberry1 · 14/08/2015 22:29

Next time do send all guests to your local leisure centre to use the showers there. I'm sure they'll soon learn the importance of packing their own towels and understand that "Guest Towels" are simply for display purposes.

YABU, OP.

jenenberry · 14/08/2015 22:30

I love these intellectual threads.

BoskyCat · 14/08/2015 22:30

Also known as winnits, dangleberries or tagnuts.

(Knew my Viz-readng days would serve me well...)

kinkytoes · 14/08/2015 22:31

Is it just me who now has the urge to throw all the towels in the house into a hot wash?

Disclaimer: there are no skidmarks on my towels.

Sallystyle · 14/08/2015 22:32

If you have had multiple swollen sore piles you will know that you can wipe, think you are done, wipe again and there is poo around a pile you thought you had got before.

Or as I said, you can get so sore that it hurts to wipe and you might be in agony wiping and wiping and wiping, so you do the best you can and think you are ok, then find out you still have poo around a few of them.

It was no doubt an accident. If someone is a dirty bastard and just wipes their arse on a towel that is one thing, but I assume if it happens it is mostly done by accident.

jenenberry · 14/08/2015 22:32

I like dangleberries.

jenenberry · 14/08/2015 22:34

Are they a Super Food?
Like Blueberries?

scarletforya · 14/08/2015 22:35

*Tell him to dry his arse with toilet paper like a civilized person.

Is that how you dry your arse after a shower?*

Well yes, I wipe dry with toilet paper. I don't let anything in the crack of my arse come into contact with the towels. I dry the cheeks of my butt with a towel but not the crack no.

L0gLady · 14/08/2015 22:35

Scarlet obviously doesn't have a separate loo.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/08/2015 22:36

I dry my arse crack with a towel......ive just washed my arse crack with shower gel and hot water so it's clean. If like a normal person you clean your arse then towel/arse contact isn't a problem.

BlueBananas · 14/08/2015 22:36

Yep I regret asking!
Also going to book DP in for a wax tomorrow now ... Poo crumbs

CremeBrulee · 14/08/2015 22:36

Why the hell are you checking their towels and flouncing around meaningfully putting them in the wash in view of your guests??

Will you be checking their bedsheets for bodily fluids too??

Why does it matter that the towels were a (rather crap) birthday present or bought from the White Comoany aka the home of the aspirational middle class?

Just wash them properly on a hot wash with detergent. Hopefully you would be doing that anyway, without all this ridiculous nonsense!

YABU and rude and well, rather common, frankly.

L0gLady · 14/08/2015 22:36

Kinky - we're going away tomorrow so my normal Thursday towel wash hasn't happened but now I feel ARGHH

LavenderLeigh · 14/08/2015 22:37

Why so certain it was an accident?
Anyone who wipes their bum on a white towel and leaves skid marks which will be perfectly obvious (given the contrast) clearly doesn't give a shit.
He's just a dirty bugger who probably does this all the time and expects the towels to be laundered after each use, which is madness.
If it was an accident a normal person would have washed that pRt of the towel in the bathroom with soap and water.

blahblahblah72 · 14/08/2015 22:37

Wtaf? Whoever did it, him or her, that's by the by. The towel has to go.

DurhamDurham · 14/08/2015 22:40

Having read ( most of ) the thread I am most surprised that people are given towels for their birthday and I am least surprised that in true Mumsnetter style people immediately jump to the defence of the towel-shitter by claiming he must have a IBS/piles/some other medical condition which prevent a him from wiping himself clean.

He might not realise he has done it or he might just be a dirty bugger.

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 22:40

Could it have been a dirty protest because he really wanted a cooked breakfast?

BoskyCat · 14/08/2015 22:41

CremeBrulee you sound like Alan Clark's wife! :o

Being upset by shit on your White Company towels is common. Crapping all over them is what, the height of aristocratic finesse?

ollieplimsoles · 14/08/2015 22:41

Aw I feel a bit sorry for him, I bet he doesn't know what he has done and hes in someone else's house! D:

Sounds the the sort of thing my DH would do...

Comes into guestroom, hurries up to me with horrified look on his face 'Oh christ I think I put shit on the towel' up to me to tell friend, possibly take the rap....