He's wipped his shit on my towels!!!

[WalfordEast]

Friend has decided to come to stay with her boyfriend this weekend.

Said boyfriend had a shower this morning, and obviously decided to wipe his arse on my towels. There is shit on one of them- sorry if TMI, but it's like skids, not chunks so I think it's just arse-drying-and-realising-your-arse-is-still-shitty iykwim.

Regardless, it's fucking disgusting and they were a birthday present- cost a small fortune from the white company.

AIBU to go out tomorrow and buy another and give him the bill???

I haven't confronted- but I made a point of putting the towels in the wash as we sat down for dinner earlier and he didn't even look embarrassed.

It's 50/50 whether it was him or your friend. Both have arses. Actually, given it could also be period blood, I'm saying statistically it's more likely to be your friend.

I think cotton bud arse dh was a troll sadly.

It was a troll,but it kept me amused!

Gosh, I'm so glad it WAS a troll!

Someone on MN says she dabs toothpaste on her bumhole post defecation.

Do we need to be suspicious of toothpaste smears on our towels too,I wonder?

Remember the poster who took her arse pet tapeworm into the Doctors in a tupperware sandwich box?
There were pictures and everything.

I've always wondered whether she got rid of the sandwich box afterwards.
It's all in the detail.

I am so glad someone else remembers toothpaste-bum-woman

I assumed she must have been really into rimming Mama!

I do know there is a beauty treatment called anal bleaching. I suppose you could get the same effect with whitening toothpaste.

...do we need to start another bum-sex thread about:
(a) pre-bum procedures (bleach bum) and;
(b) post-bum procedures (shower thoroughly and do not use OP's towel).

Oh I never thought it might have been for whitening purposes.

Does anyone else remember the thread about the Mner whose dh cleaned his arse with cotton buds and then left them lying around on tables and chairs? Ewwwwwww

Stop. Really?

Sorry because I haven't RTFT, but... was this towel used post-shower (in which case, why shower, really) or post-poo?

Toothpaste on the ring?

No thanks.I have used the Original source shower gel on my chuff and I was smarting for hours.

Oh yeah four I'll never forget the shriek from the bathroom when DH stung his bellend on that.

Original source mint shower gel is like washing your fanjo with a stinging nettle!

Well what WAS the toothpaste for then? Genuinely to make her anus taste minty fresh?

I was once cooking a curry...washed my hands and went to the toilet.
I had NOT washed my hands thoroughly enough beforehand.

'nuff said.
I now chop chillies with my hands inside sandwich bags.

What was the diagnosis for the Tupperware tapeworm lady? I can remember the thread, but not whether it was actually a tapeworm.

I have white towels. I've trained DH and my two sons out of floss drying. We air dry by using the squat and twerk method. It also tones the glutes and thighs.

I have white towels. I've trained DH and my two sons out of floss drying. We air dry by using the squat and twerk method. It also tones the glutes and thighs.

If you wash your bottom properly, it doesn't really matter (assuming you have your own towel). Surely you scrub your bum clean so there's no risk of poo on towels - isn't this pretty basic, like part of what you teach your kids before they are considered capable of showering without your intervention?

All this talk of white towels. I dont want anyone to wipe shite on anything of mine, no matter the colour!

Ffs, you don't think I actually twerk dry do you?

Someone on MN says she dabs toothpaste on her bumhole post defecation.

Colgate ring of confidence??

Toothpaste on that particular spot is a Thing from porn, the idea being to use toothpaste with bleach and end up with a bleached patootie as opposed to one discoloured from years of one way traffic.

Ffs, you don't think I actually twerk dry do you?

Yes, I know you do.