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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

He's wipped his shit on my towels!!!

333 replies

WalfordEast · 14/08/2015 20:51

Friend has decided to come to stay with her boyfriend this weekend.

Said boyfriend had a shower this morning, and obviously decided to wipe his arse on my towels. There is shit on one of them- sorry if TMI, but it's like skids, not chunks so I think it's just arse-drying-and-realising-your-arse-is-still-shitty iykwim.

Regardless, it's fucking disgusting and they were a birthday present- cost a small fortune from the white company.

AIBU to go out tomorrow and buy another and give him the bill???

I haven't confronted- but I made a point of putting the towels in the wash as we sat down for dinner earlier and he didn't even look embarrassed.

OP posts:

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 22:42

Was anything else smeared? He didn't make his mark on the bedroom wall?

thegreylady · 14/08/2015 22:43

My guest towels are dark brown, two hand and two bath. They were originally from The White Company. They are only given to male guests and are immediately put in the wash after use. Neither I nor they would be aware of embarrassing problems :)

SurlyCue · 14/08/2015 22:43

I wipe dry with toilet paper. I don't let anything in the crack of my arse come into contact with the towels.

Youre actually telling me you get out of the shower and dry your wet (presumably clean because you are a "civilised" person ) arse crack with toilet roll so it gets all damp and falls apart and leaves bits all rolled up and damp in your crack and then dry everywhere else with a towel? Really? This is what youre asking me to believe?

DocHollywood · 14/08/2015 22:44

Another one here who can't believe it's normal to wipe that deep with a towel! I just 'air dry' around down there and thought most people did too. Hope dp does, our towels are only changed about twice a week

BlackBetty · 14/08/2015 22:45

Have the towels got tide marks on them ?

dilbert19912 · 14/08/2015 22:46

How bad is your anal hygiene if you leave poo crumbs in a bed??

ollieplimsoles · 14/08/2015 22:48

He didn't make his mark on the bedroom wall?

Hahaha

SurlyCue · 14/08/2015 22:48

I just 'air dry' around down there

Do you squat? Or have you no bum cheeks?

BoskyCat · 14/08/2015 22:49

I'm :o that the White company does brown towels, maybe they are aware of this very market need. Were they labelled "Skanky guest towels"?

mathanxiety · 14/08/2015 22:49

Don't wash the towel. Fold it and hand it to him when he is packing. Tell him he is welcome to it as you are never going to use it again.

Unless your arse was covered in shit all over you would have to consciously use the towel very like TP to get a skid mark on it. He clearly does not wash his crack and he probably knows this.

If you had piles that hurt too badly to wipe then the shower is the place to finish the cleaning off of poo. I have had huge sore piles and one thrombosed jobby (DO NOT GOOGLE) after delivering large babies and all you have to do to clean properly is lean over in the shower and let the water blast you in the butt for a few minutes. It can actually help the piles too, as well as ensuring you are clean. Alternatively you can buy and use a perinatal irribottle if you don't have access to a bidet. They are cheap as chips.

You have to care about being clean to bother with this though.

BoskyCat · 14/08/2015 22:51

Well anyone who reads this thread is getting an education. There's now nothing we don't know about anal hygiene (including when dealing with a range of medical conditions).

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 22:52

Alternatively you can buy and use a perinatal irribottle if you don't have access to a bidet. They are cheap as chips.

And would make a nice birthday gift for him.
More imaginative than giving towels at least.

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 22:53

Or have you no bum cheeks?

Ha ha!!

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 14/08/2015 22:53

Why are people assuming he knew he'd done it?

I am not suggesting 'poor men can't help it', but some people simply don't look behind them as they leave the bathroom/whatever, and I suspect a disproportionate amount of them are male.

I call it Lot's Wife Syndrome.

(It does stem from a complete lack of embarrassment about bodily functions and an assumption that someone will clean up after them, IMO. No comment on whether those things are linked to a Y chromosome...)

DocHollywood · 14/08/2015 22:55

Surlycue, I 'air dry' after a shower not after a shit!

scarletforya · 14/08/2015 22:56

Youre actually telling me you get out of the shower and dry your wet (presumably clean because you are a "civilised" person wink) arse crack with toilet roll so it gets all damp and falls apart and leaves bits all rolled up and damp in your crack and then dry everywhere else with a towel? Really? This is what youre asking me to believe?

It doesn't leave any fragments in your crack if you fold it and glide it. Of course that's what I'm telling you. I don't want arse bacteria on my towels. It's a perfectly quick and easy habit.

No matter how well you wash the crack of the arse will never be bacteria free. I don't want to contaminate the towels.

For those saying he didn't know, bollocks. He should have checked. He's just a dirtbag.

Sazzle41 · 14/08/2015 23:02

Embarrassing Bodies has had at least 2 men who just werent wiping properly. It does seem odd in this day and age that hygiene is still a challenge for some people but then you can't judge as it may be down to poor parenting/lack of knowledge rather than laziness...

I went to Uni with someone really nice but she had terrible BO: after a lot being tactful w. girly chats re fave perfumes/soap etc she was only using bodyspray perfume not proper deodorant: i offered her my 'proper' deodorant to try, prob sorted. She came from a very poor family and just used what her mom/gran used.

unlucky83 · 14/08/2015 23:02

DP used to do this sometimes in the past! Left skids on the towels - when I mentioned it he asked how he was supposed to dry his arse...I told him you either don't dry your crack or use toilet roll...(yet another thing his parents failed to teach him) otherwise you wake up to find said towel skid mark down on your face... result no more skiddy towels...
However I have some interesting brown marks on some of my white towels...(looks like shit but a random pattern -not a skid) - noticed one when hanging it out to dry after washing. After many attempts at stain removal came to the conclusion it was rust . (DP had been faffing around with a rusty winch and I accused him of resting it on top of the laundry basket when the wash was waiting to go in etc.) Since found more on another towel and realised that the top of the towel radiator has a slight leak and has gone bit rusty. Could you have a similar problem?
(Still using them - no point in replacing good towels - especially since they are liable to get more marks until radiator is replaced -so we have white towels with questionable brown marks ... )

SurlyCue · 14/08/2015 23:03

Surlycue, I 'air dry' after a shower not after a shit!

Yes thats what i assumed you meant! im baffled by how you air dry your arse crack? Surely your cheeks prevent the air getting to it?

lunalelle · 14/08/2015 23:05

Suggest he air-dries his arse with a small hairdryer next time, sort of like what they suggest after giving birth :)

SurlyCue · 14/08/2015 23:05

I don't want to contaminate the towels.

You could be civilised and wash them.

LuluJakey1 · 14/08/2015 23:05

DH has just told me about a bloke who goes to his football. Is very large and not flexible. After he has a shower he dries himself and uses his towel lke dental floss on his undercarriage in the changing room, infront of everyone.

DH then jumped out of bed and demonstrated the movement without a towel.

I asked what they all do when this happens and he said they try not to look at each other.

Men are strange creatures. Perhaps OP's guest was 'flossing'.

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 23:09

I give my arse a good rub with my towel after showering. I also wash my towel after each shower.

SurlyCue · 14/08/2015 23:09

@ "flossing"

Sallystyle · 14/08/2015 23:09

I had no idea that people dry their arse with toilet paper instead of a towel.. That is very germaphobe.

I hope some people here never have to stay in hospital. Ulcers leaking puss and blood, poo, wee, blood etc.. Thankfully washing things gets them clean again and safe to use ;)

I never want to become so anal (see what I did there?) that I would throw a towel away instead of just washing it.

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