To think a 7yo is too young to go out unsupervised? Please help!

[QueenMas]

Please help, I feel sick.

I have just found out that when DD is at her Dad's, he allows her to go to the park on her own with her friends. She only turned 7 a couple of weeks ago, going into year 3 in Sept.

Her father lives semi rurally, on an estate in a quiet village. There isn't much around apart from fields and a couple of shops. I live in Greater London, so a big difference.

I wasn't entirely comfortable with him allowing her to "play out"; although come to terms with it as the children play on the green directly outside their houses (which are in a semi circle), and they have floor to ceiling windows at the front of the house so can be watched at all times.

But now, I find out that she goes to the park without him. It's only around the corner, however it means crossing a road and of course she is completely out of sight while there. AIBU to think this is inappropriate for a (just turned!) 7yo?

I have tried to speak to him about it, he does not see the problem. He hates me so much, he takes anything I say as "causing trouble" rather than thinking of our DD's safety! He eventually "agreed" not to let her go, but I don't trust that for a second, he lies constantly. He is spiteful and would tell DD not to tell me. Only last week, I had to take DD to A&E after she fell off her bike, I thought she had broken something. I called and called, and text to tell him. He did not reply. Who doesn't reply when their child is being taken to hospital?! But he was annoyed with me so didn't care.

I've sent him a video to try and show him my concerns
although I doubt he will watch. As well as stranger danger, I worry about her crossing the road. About not being "briefed" correctly about what to do in an emergency. I feel that she is FAR too young to be out and about unsupervised, she was only 6 a couple of weeks ago fgs!

What can I do? Other than stopping contact, but is that reasonable? I feel this is neglecting my daughter

"We've had a few over the last few weeks in the local area that made local news but not national, so yes I can beleive that nationally we get 5 a week. This number includes attempted abductions including assault or attempted assault."

You've had a few child abductions by strangers over the last few weeks in your local area that haven't made the national news?

Sorry. No, you haven't. What you may have had is a few vague reports of "people of Asian appearance luring children towards a white van". Which the police have to take seriously just in case, but which they know to be bullshit.

How many children in the UK get abducted by strangers per year? I suspect it's not very many

If you have been following any of the recent high profile cases - there are threads in - in the news you will know that the true amount of pedos living amongst us is so high - we would never be able to build enough prisons to house them all. The amount of them is staggeringly high.

There was an attempted abduction of a junior age girl in our area just a few weeks ago.
We need not get the threat out of proportion,but similarly we must accept there is a risk,because to ignore it is foolish.

Which the police have to take seriously just in case, but which they know to be bullshit

what a strange and odd comment, is it appropriate in the light of all the hideous abuse cases coming out of Oxford, Rotheram and the like? Where police called bullshit to young girls and indeed their parents - frantically trying to get help from them?

But it still exists Ego.

We can't discount it is all I'm saying.

I suppose Ego it depends on the menu of things that can go wrong for such young dc to be left un supervised and a long way from adults.

Are you just interested in abductions?

Abductions is one part of the risk.

I wonder what reponse we would get on MN if mum came on to say their schools play time had no supervision at all, and teachers in fact were a good 5 mins away when they all played.

There would be out rage.

"what a strange and odd comment, is it appropriate in the light of all the hideous abuse cases coming out of Oxford, Rotheram and the like? Where police called bullshit to young girls"

That is a very different thing to the abduction of children by strangers we are talking about here.

We've had 3 e-mails from school recently. Concerns about men hovering around.
One turned out to be a plumber in a white van.
One an asian man depositing some recycling into the bins.
One suspicious man turned out to be a Year 2 dad, waiting to pick up his dd.

ego

Its hard to tell whether you are serious or not.

I am going to say your being deliberately provocative and have no serious interest or contribution to this thread, so I cant engage with you.

bertrand

no its not.

The op is talking about risks to her dc - and the risk is broad.

I think some people are very naieve as to whats out there.

I have been approached and seen many dodgy things before I was a teen.

the risks are broad from strangers, from dody people in the community, from other DC - from accidents, from cars, from falling off equipment and more.

My DC go to the play ground with me and still, manage - to talk to other dc and make.......friends

Yes EGO it runs through society, maybe you have been living in cloud cuckoo land its been rather prevalent in media recently its slowly coming out at how bad it is.

BertrandRussell

Men in van (none of them Asian btw.-not really sure what that has to do with it) assaulting (sucessful) and attempting to abduct girls.

Yes, it appears that are a lot of paedophiles in all levels of society.

What there aren't are a lot of abductions by strangers. Which, judging by the op's post, is her main concern.