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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have remarked at the Asda colleagues?

183 replies

tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 22:30

I have been annoyed twice in Asda recently at the behaviour of colleagues. Firstly was at the self serve checkout where my babygirl who was in her car seat (10weeks old) started crying and an Asda worker came and unstrapped her and lifted her out without my permission. I remarked that I hadn't given her permission to lift her out and she said, "Why do you mind?" Secondly was today with my DS (3) who was eating a sandwich and the checkout lady asked him if she could have a bit and he laughed and said "No". She then said "Oh you are very greedy." Then she said "Can I not have some?" He then said, "No it's mine not yours." He was laughing as he said it and she said, "Oh you are cheeky too." SHe didn't say it maliciously but I would never tell my ds he was greedy or cheeky without good reason and this annoyed me so I said "Actually he is a lovely little boy and not greedy or cheeky at all." AIBU to be annoyed at these people?

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 10/08/2015 11:45

You sound very anxious OP, stick to online delivery.

That way you won't get people interfering and interacting with your children.

HeisenbergSaysHello · 10/08/2015 11:52

"Actually he is a lovely little boy and not greedy or cheeky at all"

You actually said this to somebody who was having a laugh and a joke with your son?

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 10/08/2015 11:55

YANBU on the first matter, that would have given me the rage, but I would have stepped in long before that stage plus I give such strong fuck off vibes that nobody attempted anything of the sort. I don't think you're being unreasonable on the second matter either.
I wouldn't tolerate anyone telling DS that he was being greedy because I don't find it acceptable to comment on a child eating/make conversation or an issue out of eating. DH grew up with an ED so making sure that eating, food and mealtimes are relaxed and have nothing but positive associations is something that we are very hot on. The bit about him being cheeky, well, I think you were being a bit unreasonable about that.

Sparklingbrook · 10/08/2015 11:56

I would have been straight to Customer Services and asked for the Manager about the first bit.

diddl · 10/08/2015 12:35

So the first woman just fancied a cuddle & wasn't trying to be helpful?

With the second it might have only been banter, but it resultd in OPs son being called greedy & cheeky which the OP didn't like & said so.

I can't see a problem with that tbh.

Whiskwarrior · 10/08/2015 12:41

Can we just establish, for the easily offended, that the cashier was joking with the little boy on both counts.

She didn't scowl at him when she called him greedy and they both laughed. Having a joke with a small child about what they're eating is not being rude to them ffs.

Here's a shocker and some of you may faint.

I work lunchtimes in a primary school and I frequently make jokes with the kids about taking parts of their lunch. Things like cakes or biscuits. I say things like 'oooh, no you can't have that, I'd better help you you and take that away'. Do you know what happens? They LAUGH. Because they know I'm bloody joking.

I also talk to toddlers all the time when out and about. If they're eating something I'll say 'that looks nice, can I have some'. I have yet to encounter a child that is remotely bothered by this. I've actually been offered all manner of soggy, chewed biscuits/blankets/dummies. And I've never had a parent be bothered by me talking to their child either. Unless them chatting to me and being friendly and smiley was an Oscar-winning turn while underneath they were seething and dying to get home and start a thread on here about the bitch who ralked to their child and mentally scarred them for life.

Original poster

tooneedyme · 10/08/2015 13:15

Whiskwarrior do you call them "greedy" or "cheeky" when they refuse?

OP posts:

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 13:16

tooneedy neither of those words are insults, you know.

Original poster

tooneedyme · 10/08/2015 13:25

But for a small child they are negative and getting them into trouble.

OP posts:

Sansarya · 10/08/2015 13:29

Getting him into trouble with who though?

chippednailvarnish · 10/08/2015 13:30

Getting them into trouble with who? Your kin didn't have a problem with it, the Asda "colleague" was laughing, so the only person with a problem is you.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 10/08/2015 13:32

Well, I would be surprised if someone unstrapped my baby to pick her up but I wouldn't be angry. I have Eastern in-laws so I'm pretty accustomed to strangers taking liberties with babies.

As for the sandwich, you are completely unreasonable.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 10/08/2015 13:33

Whiskwarrior do you call them "greedy" or "cheeky" when they refuse?

I wouldn't use the word "greedy" but I use the word "cheeky" when I'm interacting with toddlers all the time. It's a term of endearment, is it not?

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 13:34

But tooneedy your child was not upset by them and was not in trouble was he?! So it's a total non issue.

FWIW, my nickname when I was six was The Bottomless Pit. It was always said with affection. I'm fine. I'm always calling 3yo nephew a greedyguts. He laughs and calls me Auntie Greedyguts back. I also call him cheeky monkey. These things are normal!

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 10/08/2015 13:34

Yes, and it is obviously standard toddler dialogue to ask them for some of whatever they're eating. They usually find it terribly amusing. They don't really understand weather references, this is toddler small-talk.

rainbowunicorn · 10/08/2015 13:40

Good god OP let it go the only person likely to cause your child upset and anxiety is yourself due to the massive overeactions to normal situations. You really need to get a grip and stop projecting on to your poor child. If he sees you becoming annoyed at a checkout operator for just having a bit of fun with him he will start to worry when people talk to him.

Whiskwarrior · 10/08/2015 15:52

Actually, yes, I call the kids 'cheeky monkey', 'cheeky chops', 'cheeky charlie', 'greedy pants'. I could go on.

None of those are insults. The children know full well I'm joking with them.

If you think the words 'cheeky' and 'greedy' used, with a smile, to your son, who was laughing, are insults then you have some weird social issues that you need to work on. If your son picks up on this then you are setting up serious social problems for him when he starts school.

She wasn't rude. She was playing with your son. He was laughing.

If you can't cope with normal people interacting in a normal way with your son while he reacts normally then don't leave the house.

SoupDragon · 10/08/2015 16:34

But for a small child they are negative and getting them into trouble.

So negative that your DS was laughing along with the cashier.

Unlike his mother, he seems to be able to identify good natured banter.

vixsatis · 10/08/2015 17:15

Incredible over-reaction on both counts. A "may I?" before picking him up would have been polite to you; but it was obvious that she was trying to be helpful and wouldn't do him any harm.

I really don't understand why people are so extraordinarily precious

machair · 10/08/2015 17:26

They both sound very ignorant and I would not be at all happy if a stranger lifted up my child, unless there was a damned good reason. Also, imagine if your child had offered a bite to the woman and she had taken it. Goodness knows what germs she might be carrying. YANBU

Whiskwarrior · 10/08/2015 17:32

Ahahahaha, as if she actually intended to eat the sandwich!

Don't be so ridiculous.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 10/08/2015 17:32

Machair - I assume you are joking? It's hard to tell sometimes on Mumsnet!

m0therofdragons · 10/08/2015 17:44

When dtds were babies I was putting dtd1 in the car and dtd2 was in the trolley screaming. I turned back to see an elderly lady had picked dtd2 up. She apologised and said she hoped I didn't mind and she was just trying to help. I must admit I was taken a back but she was well intentioned and did no harm. Never occurred to me to be furious about it. I was surprised but not furious.
Someone calling a toddler greedy - complete non event.

chippednailvarnish · 10/08/2015 17:54

Goodness knows what germs she might be carrying

Completely agree, that's why I recommend Waitrose, a much better class of colleague partner germ.

GreenSkittles · 10/08/2015 17:55

You are going to be soooo popular among teaching staff when your kids start school, I can just tell!

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