Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have remarked at the Asda colleagues?

183 replies

tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 22:30

I have been annoyed twice in Asda recently at the behaviour of colleagues. Firstly was at the self serve checkout where my babygirl who was in her car seat (10weeks old) started crying and an Asda worker came and unstrapped her and lifted her out without my permission. I remarked that I hadn't given her permission to lift her out and she said, "Why do you mind?" Secondly was today with my DS (3) who was eating a sandwich and the checkout lady asked him if she could have a bit and he laughed and said "No". She then said "Oh you are very greedy." Then she said "Can I not have some?" He then said, "No it's mine not yours." He was laughing as he said it and she said, "Oh you are cheeky too." SHe didn't say it maliciously but I would never tell my ds he was greedy or cheeky without good reason and this annoyed me so I said "Actually he is a lovely little boy and not greedy or cheeky at all." AIBU to be annoyed at these people?

OP posts:
Runningbutnotscared · 09/08/2015 23:09

No, it's not ok to pick up some else's baby without permission. Yes, it is ok for people to talk to your child even if it's in a way you might not ideally like.

fWIW an interfering asda self service check out lady was so kind to me when my 6 week old baby had a melt down at the till I will forever be grateful.

I had no idea how to cope with a screaming child and scan and pay for shopping. She came over, kindly and carefully removed my crying child from me and smothered him with lovely comments. She hugged him and bounced him while I was on the brink of tears. I just wanted to do my shopping like a normal person! Of course now my baby is eight months I am able to deal with this type of situation A LOT better, but I will never forget how that kind lady totally overstepped the mark and saved my sanity/bacon/baby.
I've seen her working the same tills in ASDA since but have never had the courage to go up and thank her.

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2015 23:11

I see Worra you are also a Waitrose shopper!

I've never even walked past one Grin

I'm just going off MN information Wink

avocadotoast · 09/08/2015 23:11

BigRedBall I have no problem with close friends and family helping me with my baby. Mine slept in my mum's arms for ages yesterday, it was great. Today my friend held her a while so that I could eat. Again, great.

Even the other day, I went to the pharmacy and the woman on the till offered to hold DD for a few seconds so I had both hands to sign my prescription. Again, fine, because she asked and I gave permission.

If you aren't happy with a stranger coming over and picking up your baby, it doesn't make you precious ffs. Would you go over and touch an adult you didn't know? Why does it suddenly become ok if it's a baby or older child?

Whiskwarrior · 09/08/2015 23:16

Wow...

I have nothing else.

Original poster
tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 23:17

You could manage what by yourself?

Are you saying you could manage to give your child an eating disorder?

Apologies if I've misunderstood? confused

I mentioned this in response to your sarcastic suggestion that the second lady may cause behavioural problems or an eating disorder. It seems you do not have an understanding or any compassion for this illness and thus I shared a factual personal experience to illustrate your comment as innappropriate (as I read it, and I may have read it/interpreted it wrong?)

OP posts:
Szeli · 09/08/2015 23:19

Different strokes for different folks and all that.

I love how friendly my local asda is, the staff bring ds presents and all sorts, he knows all their names and asks to go see them and im sure they're like that with everyone.

my work is similar with a conveyor belt of babies being passed around - we do generally ask first tho Grin

i think #1 is a bit tricky because she should have asked but instinct may have just taken over. i would be a bit hmmmm but not raging.

#2 makes me think you'd be better off never letting your kids leave the house. he will get a complex if your reactions are like this. 3 year olds do understand joking around

chippednailvarnish · 09/08/2015 23:19

I'm guessing Worra that you would fit right in! Come join the dark green side.

Murfles · 09/08/2015 23:20

I have to ask, did you purchase the sandwich before your DS ate it tooneedyme or did you bring one with you? Something else occurred to me as well, I always encouraged my children to share food. Given you have had anorexia and would know how that disorder affects people I'm rather surprised at his answer to the checkout operator.

Original poster
tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 23:20

Having read everyones responses I am happy to say I have decided I ANBU in either scenario. My two children are very precious to me, and if someone steps over my line of what is acceptable I will be assertive, not rude or offensive, just state my dislike. After all, they are my children and if they turn out to have "an eating disorder or behavioural problems" then I can only blame myself, rather than an Asda colleague worker.

OP posts:
CotedePablo · 09/08/2015 23:20

I assume the member of staff unfastened your baby's harness and removed him or her from the car seat? If that's the case, I'd have been raging, utterly raging.

As for the chat at the checkout, a non-event, as some have said, but possibly coloured by your earlier experience.

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2015 23:21

Ok help me out here please OP

I said Being called greedy and cheeky might give him an eating disorder and lifelong behavioural issues

You said WorralLiberty having suffered from anorexia nervosa for 25 years I am sure I could manage that all by myself without anyone elses input.

So are you saying you could give your child an eating disorder?

I'm sorry but if that's not what you're saying, then I'm confused.

Starbrite00 · 09/08/2015 23:21

This to me sounds like the women who accused Primark staff of taking the baby of her breast... It turned out to be totally fabricated
OP wtf if some strange person unstrapped my baby and tool her out the car seat I would be screaming bloody murder!

Original poster
tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 23:22

I brought the sandwich Murfles, your "surprise" at his answer confuses me?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 09/08/2015 23:23

You said yourself the sandwich lady wasn't being malicious....do you always take things so literally? She didn't mean he was cheeky in a nasty way or greedy? If he sees you defend and rise to all these little comments then where will it end?

Yellowbird54321 · 09/08/2015 23:24

I would have been pissed at with both scenarios too OP.

Original poster
tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 23:25

WorraLiberty I think in angst we have gotten caught up in a muddle. I meant that I didn't need other people helping ds feel bad about himself, not because i could do that myself but because they have no right. I used the eating disorder example as you had mentioned it before which angered me even more as a sufferer who experiences comments like yours with such lack of understanding every day. But this is me interpreting what you said as being sarcastic and maybe it was not?

OP posts:
Yellowbird54321 · 09/08/2015 23:26
  • pissed off (if I had been actually pissed then I dare say neither scenario would have bothered me Grin
Original poster
tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 23:27

Thank you Yellowbird54321 I am so pleased someone is on my wavelength.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 09/08/2015 23:27

Most people agreed YANBU about the taking your baby out of the carseat, but most people felt you were being a bit oversensitive with the sandwich comment. Yet, on reading everyone elses comments you are happy that YANBU on that one either. Which is all ok, but if nothing anyone else could say would change your mind, why bother asking? Confused

Murfles · 09/08/2015 23:27

Completely agree worra.

toon. So your DS refused to share food? Personally, if any of my children had done that aid have been rectifying it and ensuring he knew how to share? As you will know, anorexics can be secretive eaters. Did you buy the sandwich before he entered Asda? I'm only asking as a matter of interest.

DameDoom · 09/08/2015 23:27

Cannot believe Asda is now so posh that it has colleagues... how very John Lewis.
I had food issues as a child and if someone had called me greedy that would have made me feel awful. Greedy is an awful word although I'm sure she probably didn't mean it like that.

treaclesoda · 09/08/2015 23:28

And I do actually understand a little bit where you are coming from, as I have a particular hatred of people telling a child they are greedy from just from the mere fact that they are eating something.

gamerchick · 09/08/2015 23:28

They've always been called that.

BigRedBall · 09/08/2015 23:30

I'm guessing Worra that you would fit right in! Come join the dark green side.

You've just reminded me that my ds(3) recognises Waitrose delivery trucks everywhere and calls them the "naughty green trucks", because they block the road towards dd's school every Wednesday around 4pm so we get stuck in traffic. I might swear a bit too at them.

Anyway, yes I suppose She should have asked for permission to take the baby out, but it doesn't sound like op would have given it.

I would have loved it if she'd reached over and taken a bit out of the sandwich. That would've been funny and prize "daily mail sad face" fodder along with a pic of a floppy half eaten sandwich.

CordeliaFoxx · 09/08/2015 23:31

Having worked in a supermarket for 10 years YANBU about your baby being picked up. But the lady asking for his sandwich was just having a bit of fun with your son, I have more than once jokingly asked if a child was going to share his sweets/strawberries or whatever, no way would I have ever accepted anything, it's just a bit of fun fgs.

Swipe left for the next trending thread