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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have remarked at the Asda colleagues?

183 replies

tooneedyme · 09/08/2015 22:30

I have been annoyed twice in Asda recently at the behaviour of colleagues. Firstly was at the self serve checkout where my babygirl who was in her car seat (10weeks old) started crying and an Asda worker came and unstrapped her and lifted her out without my permission. I remarked that I hadn't given her permission to lift her out and she said, "Why do you mind?" Secondly was today with my DS (3) who was eating a sandwich and the checkout lady asked him if she could have a bit and he laughed and said "No". She then said "Oh you are very greedy." Then she said "Can I not have some?" He then said, "No it's mine not yours." He was laughing as he said it and she said, "Oh you are cheeky too." SHe didn't say it maliciously but I would never tell my ds he was greedy or cheeky without good reason and this annoyed me so I said "Actually he is a lovely little boy and not greedy or cheeky at all." AIBU to be annoyed at these people?

OP posts:
Sansarya · 10/08/2015 08:19

if you were eating your lunch and a complete stranger asked for a bit of your sandwich would you let them?

Come on, does anyone here believe the cashier actually wanted a bite of OP's son's sarnie? It was clearly a joke!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 10/08/2015 08:22

She didn't want any of his sandwich Confused she was making small talk with a 3 year old, you know, trying to engage with him.

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 08:23

why must people continue to use the term "mama bear". it's so cringe :S

PunkrockerGirl · 10/08/2015 08:23

OP, you have to understand that the cashier really, really didn't want your ds's half eaten, soggy sandwich. She was engaging in a bit of friendly banter and you need to toughen up a bit of you're offended this easily.

The first incident, YANBU.

maddy68 · 10/08/2015 08:23

Incident 1
Asda person sees a harassed mum. Struggling with a crying baby while unloading shopping. Kind person thinks she would help and goes over to comfort baby. I would have been very grateful

Incident 2
Asda worker engages in conversation with a bored child. Banter

think I'm going t start shopping at Asda rather than surly tesco

MsRyanGosling · 10/08/2015 08:29

You took homemade sandwiches to Asda?

diddl · 10/08/2015 08:30

"murfles if you were eating your lunch and a complete stranger asked if they could have a bite of your sandwich would you let them?"

Not only that, would you expect to be called greedy if you said no?

I do think that it was unkind of her to call him greedy.

diddl · 10/08/2015 08:31

Also, OPs son was busy ating so why do people keep saying that he was bored/needed distracting?

rainbowunicorn · 10/08/2015 08:32

I really can't believe the complete over reaction of OP on both counts. It is not like someone walked up to your pram in the street lifted your baby out and did a runner. This was a member of staff in a supermarket who was trying to help you out. What did you think she was going to do to your baby? I would have been thankful if someone had tried to soothe my crying baby while going through the checkouts. OK she perhaps should have asked first but seriously her intentions were good.
Regarding the sandwich incident, bloody get over yourself and your whole my child is going to be emotionally scarred by this lady forever attitude.
Both of these occasions were just friendly shop staff trying to interact and help out. The checkout staff in my local supermarket often chat to my children and have a wee bit of banter. The kids enjoy it and it makes the shopping trip less of a chore if you have friendly helpful staff who will go above and beyond to try and help out a customer.
To all of you saying you would be furious, fuming, reporting etc Why what harm did the lady do when she picked up the child. Do any of you really think her intentions were anything other than good? Really people get over your whole having to be offended at every little thing.

RoboticSealpup · 10/08/2015 08:35

maybebabybee

I think it's a pretty accurate description of that weird protective instinct you get when you have a newborn. Do you always tell other people to stop using words you don't like?

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 08:40

Do you always tell other people to stop using words you don't like?

I didn't tell anyone to stop using it, I just expressed the fact that I wish they wouldn't because I think it's cringe.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 10/08/2015 08:41

Another one who thinks that you have massively overreacted on both counts.

First scenario: she was obviously trying to help you out with your screaming child, I'd have been grateful - although she should have said first 'what can I do to help'. (And the poster who didn't even like people she knew picking up her baby, WTAF?? My sister was like this and I've never met anyone else like it, we literally had to sit around looking at the baby but not touching or holding, and when he went to bed, we weren't allowed to speak - 16 years later and everyone is still Hmm about the way we had to act around the golden child).

Second scenario: YADBU. She was having a bit of banter with your child, you need to calm down a bit or you'll give yourself a nosebleed!

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 10/08/2015 08:44

Maybebabybee

I completely agree, it makes my stomach churn. I have friends who use the term and it makes me cringe.

KinkyAfro · 10/08/2015 08:45

I doubt that 1 actually happened, I just cannot cannot imagine a stranger taking a baby out of a car seat or whatever it was. Why didn't you stop her?

No. 2 - get a grip, it was clearly a joke

mileend2bermondsey · 10/08/2015 08:46

I wouldn't expect him to share a half eaten sandwich with a complete stranger and certainly wouldn't have given him into trouble for laughing and saying no Jesus, it was a joke ffs...

clam · 10/08/2015 08:55

"To the poster who asked if I had decided I was not being unreasonable why did I ask the question, well, the answers have made me feel more confident in my decision which I now stand by."

Hmm So, with regard to the everyone's responses to the second incident, you've somehow deduced that you were not being unreasonable?? Okaaay.

"The second event bothered me so much I think as ds can be really sensitive and if he had been tired or grumpy he would have been really upset at being called greedy or cheeky. Thankfully he was neither."

He's sensitive you say? I wonder why.

BeetlebumShesAGun · 10/08/2015 08:58

OP: AIBU?
Majority of thread: yes
OP: thanks I was right all along and won't change my mind

Confused
Only1scoop · 10/08/2015 09:00

Clam and beetle

I think you've just summed up the whole thread in two posts there.

redshoeblueshoe · 10/08/2015 09:00

Go to the store and complain that their staff were trying to be helpful
then come back and tell us what happened

treaclesoda · 10/08/2015 09:00

I was the poster who asked the OP why, if almost everyone disagrees with her, about the sandwich incident, did she now feels certain that she WNBU, why did she ask in the first place. I also, for the record, do understand how certain words can irritate because I do have a bit of an irrational hatred of people telling other people, children or adult, that they are greedy, when actually they are just, well, hungry. But I digress.

OP, you said that the responses just made you feel even more clear in your head that you WNBU. I'm still a bit confused tbh. Because presumably if everyone agreed with you, you would feel that your annoyance was entirely justified. But most people disagreeing with you has confirmed to you that you are actually NBU. Were there any possible responses that might actually have changed your mind? Genuine question, because, as I say, I also dislike people calling children greedy, although it is a mild annoyance rather than something that would upset me as much as it has upset you.

treaclesoda · 10/08/2015 09:01

And I certainly would appreciate the cashier chatting to my three year old, even if I was mildly annoyed by her choice of words.

TenForward82 · 10/08/2015 09:02

TBH I'm quite a private person, so my take is:

  1. She definitely should have asked before picking up your baby, but I understand she was trying to help.
  1. She WAS just trying clumsy banter, and while I wouldn't say anything, I would be a bit annoyed that someone called my baby greedy and cheeky. However, it will not damage him hearing it once from a total stranger.
clam · 10/08/2015 09:05

Sorry, OP, but with the sandwich episode YABU. And, even with your subsequent drip-feed of being anorexic, YAstillBU, although it might explain your hyper-sensitivity on the subject.

And as you said, your son was not upset by the remark so what's the problem?

How long before the OP suggests asking for the thread to be deleted as she doesn't like the responses on it?

RoboticSealpup · 10/08/2015 09:06

I just expressed the fact that I wish they wouldn't because I think it's cringe

Oh, OK... I guess you can wish for anything you like.

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 09:07

Yes, I can Grin

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