7 year old independence

[Loric]

My 7 year turns 8 in September. We're going on holiday to a caravan the week before. I've brought him a £20 mobile phone so when we go he can be free range on the caravan site but I can still get hold of him. I've always been extremely strict with him but I feel like he's old enough and mature enough to have some freedom. I mentioned the phone to a friend and explained why I got and she started a 2 hour tirade about how he's to young to own a phone. It's not a smart phone but 10 years ago it would of been an all singing all dancing phone. Now its laughable it's a samsung clamshell phone that I suppose can access the Internet but it's that old school hyperlinks in blue that takes 10 mins per page to load. She's really knocked my confidence on the whole thing. We're away till the 5th of September he starts the local junior school on the 8th which is a whole new picking up routine where we meet them at the gate rather from individual classes so I feel like he should start having some independence. Aibu to let my son have the phone e both on holiday and on days at school (turned off and hidden till he leaves school grounds) where people other then me are picking him up?

In your opinion

carriebrody is he allowed to play out at home out of view?

carried in a lot of people's opinion, you are in the minority on here.

It is obvious your not supervising, what if the kids start to get bored and move somewhere else, your ds just follows. Tbh it's not worth the risk, yiu shoukd really be supervising a 5 year old. A reception age child is all he is. It can happen and does, there are many dangers it woukd be awful if anything did happen . Like those 6 year olds in the park talking to me, divulging freely a lot of personal information. If my intentions were bad, I çoukd quite easily have walked off with them.

But, your intentions weren't bad and you didn't walk off with them, so there was no problem.

I don't mind being in a minority on Mumsnet

back - he's allowed to play within sight of the house.

I have a 9yo dd and she is allowed to play out on the street with her friend and can cycle around the block but thats is.

There is no way in the world I would let her go to the beach on her own now let alone any younger I am genuinely surprised anyone would think this is o.kay. There is just too many risks imo and I am happy to be over protective rather than take those risks.

My dd will get a phone once she starts secondary school.

My DS is 7, about to start the juniors. There is no way I'd give him the sort of freedom you allow let alone going to a beach alone (why would he want to go to the beach alone on a family holiday anyway).

You seem to be keen to encourage the independence but imo 7 nearly 8 is way too young. It's just not the same as when we were younger, like it wasn't the same as when our parents were younger.

My DS is pretty trustworthy but that doesn't mean he would be out my sight. I wouldn't trust him to cross a road properly even though we walk to school and it has been drummed into him, due to me being hit by a car at age 9. I'm sure there is something that says children this age are not capable of judging the speed of a car due to their age. If they can't safely cross a road, they shouldn't be out alone.

I don't see why any primary school child needs a mobile phone either. It's just not necessary. I'm sure we all managed a childhood without them.

I know carried but the person after me might not. If they are divulging personal information to a stranger, they are too young to be out on their own. It's just not worth the risk, no I am not a helicopter mum, I am quite free range, ds 3 was out in the garden on his own at 18 months. Locked gate, safe no water or pool. But out on their own at 5, nook at least be where you can see him.

But there are plenty of documented cases where children have encountered people with very bad intentions indeed, carrie.

A 5 year old can't possibly get the better of an adult stranger who wishes them harm when out alone.
Your post, with it's inappropriate smilies, is actually fairly disturbing.

I agree flogging, those types of people look for lone children in parks, open areas, streets. You may think your ds knows about safety, in an experiment which I highlighted earlier, most of the children observed in the park situation went with the stranger, despite their parents saying the usual, they know about safety, stranger danger etc. they obviously did not have the right sills yet to apply it. The children observed were between 5-9 years old.

It's not like back in the day, times have changed things have gotten worse.

Are there more stranger abductions now than back in the day then?

Stranger abductions are pretty rare, it's just not that high on my list of concerns. And based on the number of children playing out on my street, walking to the park, shops, to school by themselves, it's not a huge concern for many of my neighbours either.

April Jones loved in a very sleepy little town where the thought of abduction occuring was unthinkable. She was always abducted by someone known to her, which can also happen when children are left unsupervised. I don't get what point you are trying to make

Lived

Ycarried yiu show a worrying degree of naivety. Those kids you see in the street are probably a few years older than your ds. Nobody I know in their right mind woukd let a little 5 year old play without adult supervsion. Why tge rush, he's got a long time to gain independence.

I have given my DS 7 a aread he could go to..Measured out how many caravans..At 8 similar if he wanted to go with other children to the park he had to come and tell me..He wasn't allowed in anyone elses vans...

They do need more independence but not in at the deep end.

I constantly worry about cars. I let my DS now 8 walk across the car park to put something in the car, a the other day..It was a 2 min walk..After about 3 minutes I started to worry.. in the end I had to go looking for him..He had climbed through bushes, scratched his legs to pieces..Why..It was the first time I let him doing it...Despite having walking across the car park with me hundreds of times..

My point been they need to be given independence but don't give too much..Let them make little mistakes not great big massive ones.

Except Aero, it's just not true that things are worse these days. There was a fascinating documentary about it last year, where they took two children from Manchester, and compared the actual risks these children faced compared to the perceived risks of their parents. One of the main arguments put forward by their parents for not letting their children go out to play was that it was more dangerous these days. They then looked at this in detail - car accidents, abductions etc and found there to be no more significant risk to what there used to be. Although, there are some differences - more traffic on the roads these days, but also great traffic calming measures, cars driving more slowly in some pedestrian areas (20mph speed limits for example) and of course cars are designed much more safely these days - for both passenger and pedestrian. It was fascinating viewing, and whilst I tend not over estimate risks, even I was surprised at just how low some of them were.

As for the April Jones thing, whilst tragic we could equally use the example of the Soham murders - they were abducted and killed at 10 years old or Milly Dowler who was abducted and killed at 13. Yet, I don't see many parents saying we shouldn't let our 13 year olds out because someone was abducted and killed at that age.

No but at 5 tge child is still very young, and does not have the skills to keep themselves safe.

It is the same as 'back in the day' though, if not safer.

We have massive media/social media coverage, that's all that's changed.

Stranger abuse/abductions have always been very rare.

Saying that, I haven't rtft. My 8 year old plays at the park across the way with his friends.

My 5 year old (she's actually just 4, but anyway) would not be allowed to.

I was about 12 when I went to shops without my mum, on the bus with my mates. I was always accompanied before then, it never stifled my independence. I am not attached to my mums apron strings.

Aero, I know the ages of my own neighbours' kids! And yes, there are a few 5 year olds out playing.

Blimey dies not make it right, you do sound very naive tbh. How good is your ds road sense? What if the other kids suggested going somewhere else, would your ds have the skills to say no and stay where he is? If a stranger approached him and asked him to go with them, woukd he?

If your answer is Yes to all if those, go right ahead, but I çoukd not be so trusting of a very young child.

The parents of those girls alone in the park that I encountered probably thought the same as yiu, or those taking part in the experiment to see whose chikd would go off with a stranger.